I’m really upset I’m still fat

[Refvs]

It’s been years since I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything. I will not take the weight loss jabs (no judgement to those that do btw) im just lost. I have all the exercise equipment at home but im so fat still. Yes I don’t exercise much so yes I know my fault.

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

please help me

Honestly I eat one meal a day I'm still not losing I've cut out my snack not losing I'm wondering just how much I need to starve myself to actually lose weight here? I've tried eating more I gained weight so I've cut everything no chocolate no cheese one healthy meal maybe I should cut the milk from tea?

I won't be able to take the jabs because I've thyroid issues but the temptation is there I'm exercising eating less losing nothing

@Refvs

Ir might be helpful to stop seeing your excess weigh as the problem but as a symptom of emotional dysfunction.

Stop dieting it’s not solving the issue and start getting help with your emotions. If you don’t have spare money for a professional start with ChatGPT (just don’t provide it with any personal data i.e. name DOB, try and use another laptop and a throw away email account)z

Every time you have bad day tell it and see how you feel after. If it works get a paid service so your data is safe, and work you way up to a therapist.

OP, your frustration with it all is totally understandable. Plus, going through therapy and feeling worse is unacceptable and it sounds like you‘ve been through a lot.

But I just wanted to say that not all approaches are the same. Hypnotherapy helped me and others with emotional eating in a way that felt quite different to traditional therapy. For starters it’s faster and more focused on the hidden subconscious patterns. Just wanted to mention it in case it’s something you haven’t looked at yet 💛

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

It's good that you've identified your triggers - now it's a matter of changing your specific core belief:

"Eating something will make it feel better".

This belief is based in the truth of your childhood; most of us will identify with being given something sweet to cure the hurt of a scrapped knee or to cheer us up after a spat at school or simply to stop us whingeing from tiredness or bored. So we learn that food will indeed make us feel better.

Add another layer "clean your plate before you can play" or "finish that then you can have an ice cream". Another message that food = rewards.

What links Christmas, Easter, birthdays, holidays - all the good times you remember? Yup, food; lots of it and the freedom to eat more than you'd normally be allowed to. That message - that extra food is a treat - is added into the mix.

So we get to adulthood and suddenly there's you're in charge of controlling the amount and frequency of what, how much and when you eat. But there's those parts of your subconscious mind which are absolutely hanging on to those beliefs from when you were little - not to sabotage you but simply because they don't know any better.

It IS possible to update your mental operating system to that of an adult with the corresponding awareness of nutritional needs and no emotional triggers/cravings. I've worked with several MNetters on this very issue.

If you're starving yourself your body is probably clinging on to the calories in your one meal, making it more difficult for you to shed the pounds.

Losing weight isn't as easy as some people make out as we all have such varied lives and eating healthy isn't always the cheapest.

I was about 3 stonne overweight a few years ago. I started out by cutting out processed foods and treats. I cleared a space in my garage that I could use to exercise as going to the gym regularly wasn't feasible. I then prioritised going to bed early (pretty much same time as the kids), set the alarm for 5:30 and would do 30 minutes of light cardio during the week days. The first few weeks were the hardest but after that it got easier and I didn't miss the treats.

I'll let you know when I get there. It's not a quick fix, if you are being sensible anyway. There may be good reasons for discounting it, but some do so on the basis of being misinformed.

I’ve lost 2.5 stone since January 4th through diet and exercise.
A switch turned on after Christmas and I decided enough was enough. I told myself that if I couldn’t do this on my own I would buy the weight loss injections. I now don’t qualify so that option has gone.
For me I’ve had to work on my diet, mind and exercise. I now exercise 3-4 times per week and eat a healthy diet
The biggest change is in how I view food and if I’ve had a higher calorie meal, been on holiday or had a weekend away it doesn’t impact me moving forward.
It’s been hard but I’ve now dropped dress sizes, my confidence has increased immensely and this gives me the motivation to continue.

This morning I went swimming at 6am and feel amazing so less likely to eat rubbish the rest of the day.
I’ll be honest and I think I’ve only been able to achieve this because my husband is 100% on board and joined the gym with me. My children are also teenagers so I have more me time, if they were little I’m not sure I’d have been able to sustain the exercise.

Why not post the link to the information itself so people can read it for themselves?

https://www.ema.europa.eu/en/news/prac-concludes-eye-condition-naion-very-rare-side-effect-semaglutide-medicines-ozempic-rybelsus-wegovy

It’s data from various studies for semaglutide only in patients with type 2 diabetes.

exposure to semaglutide in adults with type 2 diabetes is associated with an approximately two-fold increase in the risk of developing NAION compared with people not taking the medicine. This corresponds to approximately one additional case of NAION per 10,000 person-years of treatment

As many pp have said, all drugs have side effects. People should have access to the full information to enable informed decisions. Not scaremongering.

Why should I post links in a forum of adults capable of looking it up for themselves, as you obviously have? I've clearly stated that the level of risk is different from person to person. All drugs have risks yes, and it is still up to the person taking it to decide if it is acceptable for them or not. Mine was a simple statement of fact. Not scaremongering. How you view it is not my problem.

OP, nrtft, but if you can afford mounjaro, PLEASE take it. After decades of trying and failing in diets n battling autoimmune disorders and binging/overeating, developing pain in the body which made it tough to exercise, then filled 24/7 with hopelessness and self loathing, my life changed once I took it. It honestly is not cheating or "bad" or anything... Unless you judge people for wearing glasses or taking medicine when they have an illness... why make life harder for yourself when help is close? DM me if you want to talk more about it.

Great video, thanks @Enrichetta

It is up to the individual but the person who started the thread specifically stated they did not want to take the weight loss drugs. Since then there has been numerous pleas for them to take them.

Why can't people just respect that some people want to lose weight without taking drugs?

I was fat for 30 years, then I did the fat jabs and honestly they have changed my whole life

That's my point as well. Not sure if you think I'm disagreeing. I originally posted my comment in response to someone who asked "what risky jab?".

I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything.

There's your problem.

And I am not judging. See my username and other thread to confirm this - I am fat as fuck myself. I bet I'm fatter than you!!

Bit diets don't do anything because they are not sustainable. You neeed a complete lifestyle change to change anything at all.

I started my journey six weeks ago and I've gone from 25 stone 7lb (told you I was fat!) to 23 stone 8lb and I'm not doing any special diet, I'm just watching what I eat, moving a bit more (walking to the shops and on the school run instead of driving for instance) and going to the gym, which I enjoy - I don't overdo it so it seems daunting, just gentle exercise and swimming.

Start doing something different, in a small way, a way that you can see yourself keeping up for life, don't obsess and don't overthink it. That was always my downfall over the years, and just keep going.

You can do this, you just have to do it sensibly and want it enough xxx

To be fair, lots of people have shared their non-drug experiences. And most of the people talking about the jabs have said they were in a very similar position to the OP and found it to be only thing that helps. So that’s why they always get mentioned. In my case, I view them as a long term solution to my pre-diabetes and PCOS related insulin resistance, and losing weight is a happy side effect.

unless the OP returns to explain why they won’t take the jabs people will continue to mention them. Is it cost, pre-existing medical condition, fear of needles, philosophical objections, what?

@BlotAnExpert and @BogRollBOGOF have good advice. Especially this

The key is to reframe food as nourishing your body, not as an emotional crutch.

and focus on nutrition- every morsel you eat should have a purpose: protein, fibre, healthy fats, vitamins, plus an occasional ‘reward’.

Personally I find that exercising, especially weight training, puts me in the frame of mind where I feel that I really am a person who is focused on health and doesn’t eat crap.

I know how you feel. Concentrate on being healthy instead of losing weight. Get a smart watch and walk 10 000 steps a day. Drink water and eat salad/fruit and veg with all your meals. Use a smaller plate/bowl to reduce portion sizes. Bake healthier treats to replace crisps, biscuits and chocolate. If you can, don't buy treats anymore. If it's not there, you can't eat it! Buy a kettle bell and use it to get stronger. I love mine and lift it every day! Don't think about being skinny, focus on feeling healthy and strong.

Love this post. Well done you 👏 brilliant 👏 You're doing an amazing job 💪

Nothing helpful to add, but I'm sorry you're feeling down.

Kettle bells are wonderful things, so good for core muscles. I find just a few minutes using them after eating to be really helpful controlling blood sugar spikes.

This is great advice - don't concentrate on losing weight, concentrate on being healthy. My favourite thing since I started changing things is how I feel now. The weight part is just a bonus and something to reassure myself things are changing and it's not just placebo. I feel amazing!

I do the same @Gustavo1 , I can go weeks eating healthily, no snacking etc, then bam - full box of chocolates down my neck like Ive inhaled them

But that not a complete sod it, its a blip. Next meal is back to being a proper healthy as balanced as I can meal, and the next and the next - and Ive slowly lost the 2 plus stone I needed lost and maintain. Sure there's times when I go up a bit - like this month Im about 4lb more then I need to be, so Im back to cutting back a wee bit, just little cuts, like no garlic bread with the spaghetti bolognaise , no naan with the curry and rice

I dont call it dieting, I prefer to call it eating healthily. It is hard changing a lifetime of bad habits, especially when we are so used to rewarding ourselves with food and I do sometimes feel Im missing out . But my desire to be healthy ( and slim tbh ) keeps me going.

You wont get to the bottom of your issues with food and body image until you do some inner reflection and even see a counsellor.

I seen one and was able to trace my issues back to when my dad died when I was 6. Stressful time for a child, and I spent a lot more time eating for comfort, or mum was spoiling me with sweets and treats etc.

As I got older, I used food in a different way. I realised that I could also eat significantly less and lose a lot of weight. And so began an eating disorder. I had anorexia. At my lowest, I had a BMI of 15.

This also came at a time of stress, I had been assaulted by a boyfriend at the time (I was only 14!) and thought so lowly of myself and with the court case etc, it felt like the only thing I could control.

I got an underactive thyroid after having a baby and gained weight, and lost a load of weight through really restrictive eating again - due to stress of a pretty emotional break up.

I noticed I was putting on weight again recently (last 1-2 years) and this was down to feeling quite low and depressed, lots of past emotions coming back up and using food AND alcohol as a crutch. I again, had to look within myself, seek out some counselling again, and now eating healthily again.

We shouldn't need to "diet". When you address the emotional need behind stress eating etc, you will make better more informed choices around eating as you will adopt better coping strategies that do not involve food. Weight loss jabs dont address these, and neither does weight loss surgery. Which is why they aren't suitable long term options (e.g. rest of your life).

Dear fucking god. Can people just knock it off with the constant pushing of WLI?! If you're on it and it works for you, then fantastic. But OP has been VERY clear that she doesn't want to use them.
It would be nice if we could have at least one weight loss thread without it being swamped by people insisting that the solution is the bloody injections. There are other ways to lose weight

Yes! Exactly this! No everyone wants to have injections and side effects for the rest of their lives.