I’m really upset I’m still fat

[Refvs]

It’s been years since I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything. I will not take the weight loss jabs (no judgement to those that do btw) im just lost. I have all the exercise equipment at home but im so fat still. Yes I don’t exercise much so yes I know my fault.

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

please help me

Dear fucking god. Can people just knock it off with the constant pushing of WLI?! If you're on it and it works for you, then fantastic. But OP has been VERY clear that she doesn't want to use them.

It would be nice if we could have at least one weight loss thread without it being swamped by people insisting that the solution is the bloody injections. There are other ways to lose weight!

OP, I lost three stone last year on keto. I have about another 6-7 stone to lose. I never managed to get back properly on the weight loss wagon after Christmas so although I've maintained, I haven't lost any more. I've stuck to low carb eating rather than keto but I think my calories have been too high, albeit they've been quite healthy calories rather than sugar or junk food.

I'm now focusing on it again, and I've added a daily one-hour walk into my schedule. I can feel a difference in my legs and I'm definitely getting more toned.

I find it easier if I have clear rules so keto was helpful in that respect. I've also noticed that when I eat low carb or keto, I am less bloated and I don't get my usual water retention.

So I don't know if a low carb/keto diet would be helpful to try? I LOVE carbs and sugar but I discovered how much better my body feels with low carb. I have more energy and no post-meal slumps. If I get a real need for something sweet I have dark chocolate or occasionally, a protein bar.

Deciding you want to do something about it is the first step and remember, it's a journey. One bad day or even one bad week doesn't mean you're not still on the path, so don't feel defeated if you don't quite manage to stick to your eating plan or have a bad day. Keep going and try again. The most important thing is that you don't give up 💐

Id recommend low carbing

It really works

I lost a lot of weight low carbing but the reason a lot of people fail is the "carb flu" period. When you feel so sodding hungry all the time. Your body is craving sugar to satiate it. I remember that so well. The constant hunger, even though you have eaten a full low carb meal to the point where you cant physically hold anymore food. The part where the body gets used to using its own stores instead of the sugar it would normally get.

It works really well but lets not pretend that the first two weeks are easy.

I think trauma therapy is marmite - it’s brilliant or awful for people. The entire process is about your deepest emotions because of the worst experiences of your life. It makes complete sense to be repelled by it and not find it useful.
Although your eating is often emotional. Therapy could be the change you need if it’s about learning to adopt a different mindset to food and change habits. It doesn’t necessarily have to be about examining your emotions (which could be triggering and unpleasant like trauma therapy).
You could try watching some Michael Mosely “Just one thing” series for ideas of just one thing you can change perhaps.
Glanced at a book the other day: Mel Robbins The 5 second rule, and thought it looked useful….
I’m in a similar position but haven’t given up hope. The thing is, I know I can do it. I just need to persevere which is a mental thing vs my adhd and bad habits. My brother lives abroad and I recently saw him. He looking a lot slimmer due to using a keto breath device. This had motivated me as I realised our childish rivalry means I can’t let him be better than me at something! We both were very active and healthy when young so just need to unlearn lazy adult habits!
Anyhoo, enough about me. You’re also completely capable of doing this. The tough part is that ONLY you can do this, so it’s your choice. Wishing you all the very best. May you one day fit into some lovely old clothes you used to wear and/or enjoy shopping for new ones that flatter ☺️

Over-eating anonymous could help you break the psychological pattern and offer a support system.
It doesn't have to be religious based, just acknowledgement that the problem is bigger than you can control by yourself.

As others have said, it's your diet, not exercise. I can't exercise due to ill health and have lost over 3 stone since November.

I have massively reduced carbs.

I have increased vegetables and pulses. - I have pulses at least once a day.

I switched my breakfast from porridge to chia seed pudding. I'm sure porridge gives me a blood spike because I feel starving about 2 hours after eating it.

Do not consume ultra-processed food. For instance, don't eat a bar of orange chocolate - eat an actual orange. Fill half your plate with green vegetables at every meal, and colourful non-starchy vegetables to fill another quarter of your plate. The last quarter of the plate should be lean protein i.e. chicken breast, pork medallions, lamb chops, white fish like cod, oily fish like salmon, two boiled eggs.
Watch your portion sizes.
When you become agitated with emotions, replace the eating behaviour with a different activity, such as knitting, playing an instrument, taking a shower, counting worry beads or the rosary, etc. Just something to get your hands doing anything to keep you from overeating.

It's hardly there for "everyone", you have to actually be obese to start with, many people aren't.

Excess weight also causes severe side effects

I would try the injections and see - they could really help and if not you can go off them.

Smokers use nicotine patches to quit and no one thinks there’s anything wrong with that

I was the same ,bad day stuffed my face ,good day ate in celebration
Any emotion ,reward with food .
Now I eat at mealtimes only ,if I'm hungry,no snacks ever .
Never crave or fancy food , doesn't interest me anymore.im 6 stone down.
But Im taking monjroro,it's the only thing that's worked for me

Everyone with money*

Honestly,you save so much money with the food your not eating..my share of the food bill has dropped massively,and that's how I justify paying for it

OP how old are you? I have found things much much harder post-menopause. I am not overweight but I have to eat so little to stay this way. My willpower has never been tested more. I think about food a lot but I guess I want to be slim, so for now, that is winning.

I think it’s important to have some time off from the diet. Maybe include a treat every week. You might obsess about it but it could help get you through the tougher moments.

Also, liking yourself helps. If you start thinking more positively about yourself, then you might have more luck.

Do whatever suits you. I find the pushing from the cult of mounjaro distasteful. Find the right method for you. And remember, you are much more than your weight. Good luck, whatever you try.

That’s great for you. But many households don’t have the extra cash lying around for this drug.

Like I said ,I'm on the jabs and I've lost 6 stone since October last year .
But I also downloaded the NHS weight loss app ,and I track my food and weight on that ..I have never gone over 1200 calories a day since I started dieting.
Yes I am hungry all day and all night ..yes I could of done this without the jabs .
The jabs help because I don't crave food ,but they don't stop me being hungry..so I just live with the hunger .
I also cut out all snacks and I only drink water or tea and coffee ..I drink lots and lots of fizzy water with a slice of lemon and lime in .so yes I could of achieved the same without the jabs ,I just chose not to

I love the idea of getting real, unfiltered opinions from other parents—sometimes it's hard to know who to ask in real life! The daily roundup sounds like a great way to stay connected without spending hours scrolling.

When I was overweight, I ate mostly cheap chicken nuggets (£1 a bag) and Iceland cheesy garlic bread (also £1). I was spending around £4 a day/£120 a month on food. Mounjaro starts at around the same price and only goes up afterwards, so even if I ate literally nothing all month, it still would not save me money.

I'm not sure why everyone thinks you need to spend loads on takeaways or chocolate and crisps to be overweight. I don't even like takeout food or most snacks.

OP, I'm not sure I can give you advice as I've struggled with ED most of my life and tend to eat everything or nothing at all but some things that do help when I'm restricting is having a small handfull of quick, cheap meals I can rotate daily that fit with my calorie allowance so I can stick to it without thinking too much.

Count and track every calorie. It is much easier to resist that Mars bar when you realise they are 228 calories, or the same as a portion of grapes, 1 large caramel snack a Jack and a curly wurly.

Volume eating helps if you are used to large meals, fill your plate with loads of low-cal green veg or salad. I bypass the potatoes and have extra broccoli instead. Protein is filling, so have some high-protein low-cal snacks to fill the gap if you feel peckish (boiled eggs, low-sugar protein bars, Skyr, cottage cheese with cucumber slices).

If you really, really, really need some Gregg's brownies with caramel dip, then tell yourself you can have them, but tomorrow. The next day, you probably won't want them as much, and if you still do eat them, but eat well the rest of the day. Constantly depriving yourself will only make you want junk more. Schedule monthly days off or "fuck it days" where you eat what you want, when you want, fuck the calories.

I lost bit over three stone last year after years and years of yo yo dieting and being utterly convinced that I just couldn’t lose weight. I have a number of other health conditions and felt it was a letter of time before I was advised to try the jabs but I really did not want to. That’s absolutely no comment on those that do and find them useful but they’re absolutely not for me for a number of reasons which is a completely legitimate choice and I do find it jarring how so many want to keep pushing them as the solution even when it’s perfectly clear that it’s not what the OP wants.

What made the difference for me this time round was working with a weight loss coach who really helped me work on my mindset, why I overate and frankly gave me a kick up the arse when I needed it. I didn’t do anything revolutionary, calorie counting (1800 per day as a shortarse), exercise etc but this made it stick this time. Not the solution for everyone I’m sure but I wish I’d considered it years ago.

Well you know what is causing it- your emotionally eating. Start there. What about some counselling to try and change that? Start moving more - a long walk every evening. Small changes that you can stick to. Good luck xx

would you be happy to share more? I’ve not really heard of this type of therapy

But you were overweight, a BMI of 29 puts you in the overweight category!

However, OP is desperate to loss weight. I was on the jabs as part of a clinical trial. I lost weight and guess what it’s given me the motivation to carry on! They’re another tool and for someone who seems to need to very little excuse to over eat it maybe what they need!

If you dont want to take the jabs thats absolutely fine OP.

I have tried the jabs and they worked but slowly and I've actually recently been signed off for surgery now.

However when I was on the jabs I did also receive some mental health guidance that focused on the 4 pillars of success which are sleep, stress, diet, and exercise. In that order.

You need to make sure that you're addressing all of these to give you the best chance of success whatever pathway you choose to take. Sleep and stress are important for hunger hormone regulation. If you're not getting enough sleep or you're stressed then you'll be producing more hunger-based hormones than full based ones.

You're also set back if you have other conditions like diabetes or insulin resistance due to PCOS, or neurodivergence because this can affect your ability to process hunger and fullness cues internally due to poor interception.

For now I'd focus on sleep and stress and diet, forget exercise for now as realistically you're not going to burn a tremendous amount.

Also make sure you're working out your TDEE and eating 500 calories less than your TDEE.

You also need to understand how water is stored in cells and how you can have plateaus due to water retention and this is normal. It doesn't mean what you're doing is failing.

Wish you all the best OP.

I think you need to explain your reasoning as to why you won't even consider the injections. Millions are taking them, and they simply make you feel less hungry. What is so scary about that?

Have you explored the medical route? A lot of women cannot reduce to the weight they would like to be because of medical conditions like lipoedema or PCOS.

Are you actually genuinely overweight? Often weight loss stops because the body has reached the weight it wants to be.

Help us out please, I mean, are you 9 stone wishing you were 8 stone or 25 stone plus?