I’m really upset I’m still fat

[Refvs]

It’s been years since I’ve been trying to lose weight. I have done lots of diets but I can’t stick to anything. I will not take the weight loss jabs (no judgement to those that do btw) im just lost. I have all the exercise equipment at home but im so fat still. Yes I don’t exercise much so yes I know my fault.

my biggest thing is my emotions. If I have a bad day or great day I will eat loads. Been off work today due to ds being really unwell and from morning till evening I have just stress eaten.

please help me

YOU were able to do it without medication.
So you did it by calorie counting and weight training alone. Not every body can. If they could, the population wouldn't be obese.

People who are successful on the jabs also calorie count. That's the point of them. They help people to stay in calorie deficit without the cravings and hunger which cause you to give up.

The poster has clearly tried. And tried. And tried . And failed. And failed . And failed.
By the time most people resort to jabs they have also tried everything and failed.
For some people, motivation cannot overcome the urge to eat.

Nobody wants to be obese. Nobody wants to spend hundreds of pounds a month on a jab.

But when all else has failed and people are desperate to lose weight, these the jabs work and are no more dangerous than any other drug despite the hysteria.

Why do people say this?!

Its not a lazy cop out if it works. These things have literally changed lives. I cant wait to see the data on how many cases of T2 have been prevented/put into remission from these drugs.

Some people for a variety of reason simply cannot succeed. The "Eat Less Move More" model also doesnt work for many many people.

er you do still have to diet and exercise. I’ve lost 15lb on mounjaro in 6 weeks, no side effects, back in a size 12. Definitely no laziness here.

I get your point. And you're right there's been some marvellous successes, and someone who absolutely struggles to shift weight (curse of being short ) and I am naturally a "chubby" build so easily look 'fat'. I suppose there's a risk of younger people thinking "oh it's ok, I'll just balloon and then take an injection if I get too big " it could cause that mindset. But that is only a theory. I agree with you that it is very easy for naturally lithe people with high metabolisms to say "just move more and eat less" but some people really aren't naturally slim and dump on fat and weight more easily. It's a tough one. Definitely good the reduction in type 2 diabetes and other related health conditions.

Side effects of obesity:

Cardiovascular Diseases:

Heart disease:
Obesity increases the risk of atherosclerosis (fatty deposits in arteries), leading to coronary heart disease and potentially heart attacks.
Stroke:
Obesity can contribute to high blood pressure and atherosclerosis, increasing the risk of stroke.
High blood pressure:
Obesity is a major risk factor for hypertension, which can lead to cardiovascular problems.
Metabolic Disorders:

Type 2 diabetes:
Obesity significantly increases the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, where the body doesn't use insulin properly.
Metabolic syndrome:
This condition combines high blood pressure, high blood sugar, excess belly fat, and high cholesterol, all linked to obesity.
Cancers:

Increased risk of several cancers: Obesity is associated with a higher risk of various cancers, including bowel, breast, and womb cancer.
Other Health Conditions:
Osteoarthritis: Obesity puts extra stress on joints, increasing the risk of osteoarthritis and joint pain.

Sleep apnea: Excess weight, especially around the neck, can obstruct breathing during sleep, leading to sleep apnea.

Gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD): Obesity can increase pressure in the stomach, leading to acid reflux.

Gallstones: Obesity can increase the risk of developing gallstones.

Liver disease: Obesity is linked to non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) and other liver problems.

Reduced fertility: Obesity can affect reproductive hormones and reduce fertility in both men and women.

Kidney disease: Obesity can increase the risk of chronic kidney disease.

Pregnancy complications: Obesity increases the risk of gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, and other pregnancy-related complications.

Not that anyone here has said this, but people often say things like "replace chocolate with pepper strips / carrot stocks / celery etc" but it doesn't feel the same so doing something totally different instead to replace it might work.

For a while (need to get back on top of things) if I felt like that then I found painting my nails was effective - takes time and concentration so can get you out of that headspace where all you want to do is eat chocolate, plus you then physically can't eat anything for a while because of wet nail varnish, plus you also get a boost of morale from nice done nails.

My experience of MJ is that my mind is not full, crowded and pre-occupied with trying really hard to resist food (will-power) and then when my mood drops (for any reason - hormonal, tired, stress event) cracking open the chocolate biscuits / wine / crisps for comfort. Then feeling shit about myself - so why not finish off the packet of biscuits etc.

Now my mind is not crowded. There is crap food in the house and I am not attracted to it - my mood will pass and I will not have consumed 1000 extra calories. I have more headspace and energy to focus on building new healthy habits (its not a fat burner) - and when I come off it I need an already entrenched healthy lifestyle.

What this looks like for me is proactively putting in foundational self care routines such as stress managment (yoga), better sleep, nourishment (protein, fibre, no UPF), resistance training & steps, insulin managemnt thru IF. This is a big overhaul and I need these entrenched to be able to sustain and maintain the loss longer term. Being healthy is my committment and will power to do these things rather than exert it all on resisting food. Its a work in progress. I am the happiest I have been in decades.

OP not every style of therapy is helpful for everyone and for every problem. What you describe sits firmly in the therapeutic space, it is just a question of finding the right therapy and the right professional for you. My suggestion woukd be someone specialised in trauma and somatic therapy. I can tell you from experience that it works.

And this is a mindful and intentional self care activity that will bring you happiness for days after. Similarly I now have a new evening skin care routine - so I do this whilst watching the TV after washing my teeth at 8pm - which was the critical part of the evening when my will power would flag and the floodgates would open craving sugar. Now my hands are busy and my skin is glowing.

I hate being fat. Its psycholgical stuff that keeps us fat.

You start thinking about losing weight. Then you start panicking about sll the weight you have to lose.

I try to think about losing a little bit at a time

I find all this fascinating because I am currently living with a mounjaro fascinatorr,
who I actually want to kill.
BUTit seriously does seem to work for those of us who can’t find enough willpower on their own., good for you mate, as ever, we don’t compare.
i’m sorry my lovely, go qnrle ❤️

I think we all need to do psychological work on ourselves too.

I realised i was fat because i was raped in the past and i didnt want to look thin and pretty. Being fat was a protection.

Other traumas can also make people over eat

I agree. Trauma is locked in our bodies unprocessed but needing soothing in a physical way - we search for food or substances to relieve - but if we do somatic specific PTSD, EMDR therapy we can process this viscious cycle long term at the root. We can also use our bodies to distract from thr craving by doing something physical - take a shower, brush our teeth, walk, paint our nails, do an online yoga - shift the energy from our brains craving.

Can you prepare a load of food that is healthy and you can eat when you need to? Something that isn’t chocolate or sweets.

I always have chopped cucumber, red onion and tomato salad ready in the fridge, with coleslaw and protein like chicken or boiled eggs. Making that change, so healthy food is readily available rather than making a crap choice has helped me drop 2 stone since March.

I binge eat too OP. I eat out of boredom. It’s a really horrible habit to try and stop.

Drink plenty of water. At least 2 lr per day.
Cut out junk food and processed foods from your main diet. But don’t restrict yourself to having no treats or cheat meals at all. 1 cheat meal a week (takeaway, processed foods) is fine.

If you’re going to exercise - lift weights! Forget about cardio, aerobics, jumping up and down. But with lifting weights - food is fuel! You need lots of protein.

When you feel hungry and feel like you want to eat an unhealthy snack - drink a glass of water. If you’re still hungry after 20 minutes then go and eat something.

Possibly that they are new, expensive and the long term negative side effects are largely unknown?
Also the fact that nearly everyone puts most of the weight back on when they stop using them.
They also don't address the way people think about food.

I was overweight (years ago) and one of my big tips for losing weight (alongside input versus output, if you could be arsed, I couldn't). Was to look at the 100g fat intake on the ingredients % of it. Was it above the 10g (as in 10% of the 100g) then it was ok, along as it wasn't over 150 cal. It worked for me and I lost a load of weight. I wasn't in any slimming classes but this does follow one of those. I found myself choosing different options but still allowed a treat. It became second nature after a while.

Btw saying this I don't have judgement at all of people on injections but OP has asked for other alternatives.

Unless a doctor has said you've a health reason not to, I honestly think you may as well try WLI?

It seems to really help so many people who suffer from food addiction and emotional eating. I've not used it myself as I'm not in that weight range but I honestly would just give it a try on a low dose.
The worse that can happen is it doesn't agree with you and you needn't take it again. But it could really help.

I certainly would if I was overweight. Willpower alone isn't always enough as you have found. There's no shame in using medicine to help you along.

Sorry i dont understand?

Are you saying if the fat was above 10g it waa ok?

My goodness, I've already responded to someone who has replied in the same way as you. Someone questioned there being risks of the jabs, so I simply stated some of them. At no point did I say there were no risks of being obese for crying out loud. OP doesn't want to take the jab, and that's fine, but for some reason people are piling on telling her to take the jab. I lost 5 stone myself without any medical intervention, I'm well aware of the risks of both being obese and taking medications thank you.

I've dieted and unless it's a sustainable lifestyle change, it won't work.
I've tried surgery- gastric sleeve, and it kind of worked (I lost 140lb) but then I was a slower loser than everyone else, and then had 2 pregnancies back to back and stress ate until I was almost 19 stone.

The things that have worked was therapy- I've had lots, but my therapy for binge eating was the best I've ever had. It helped me fix my relationship with food, and guilt around it, and I made better choices in life to help me make better choices.

I also am on Mounjaro. It takes away the taste reward of food, and allows me a pause point between thinking of something and shoving it in my mouth.
13kg off in 5 months, which is amazing as I have pcos... the fact its off rather than on I'm thrilled with!

I disagree when people say exercise does very little. It completely changes my mentality. If I've worked out, I am more aware of what I eat for the rest of the day and seem to lean towards better food.

My best advice is get out and walk. Even if you don't feel like it, don't feel you have time or can't be arsed. I power walk or run 3 miles every single morning. I'm not a "Power walk or run 3 miles every morningt" kind of person. At ALL. I'm a "How long can I stay in bed before it looks bad" person. I just internally yelled at myself enough and tried it. And then decided, as much as I hated it, I could do it. And then decided I kind of liked it. And THEN decided, I can't imagine starting my day, wherever I am, doing anything else. And I could even run!

So, actually my best advice is YELL at yourself and see where that takes you.

Have you tried hypnotherapy

I agree - exercise has a greater indirect effect that direct - ie actual calories burned by the running is less than the overall mood boost and stress reduction that means you slip into those craving fuck-it moments less often - it also regulates your insulin - so less spikes and hunger to push you over the edge.

Nope. It was more about the only thing that worked for me was a cross between a couple of diet regimes.

I'm saying that I did not count calories (my choice), but I did find it helpful that the % of fat per 100g was useful. It wasn't about not eating those higher %. but it was an easy measure for me.

If you wanted a treat then the idea was that you can go over 10% as long as it wasn't above the 150cal. I didn't count cals so I'd treat myself when I wanted but aware of and slightly breaking but not mostly the 10% per 100g rule. It worked for me and I changed my way for eating.

But this was years ago, and I'm sure very outdated. The only reason I posted was to possibly give OP an alternative.