How did your friends, family or colleagues take your late diagnosis of ADHD/autism?

[whatisforteamum]

So after a rough 18 months in a job I decided to get assessed for A D H D.
I was quite surprised to find out I do have Hyperactive Impulsive type and it was suggested I get assessed for autism as I have some traits.
I'm 58 so quite a thing to learn after all these decades.
I think it was informative for my adult dcs one of which I think has ADHD anyway.
My DH kind of implied he put up with me and now is trying to understand.
I told my newish work colleagues who I had mentioned I was in a long queue as they had family members who went private and when I told them the outcome a couple were nicer than before and a couple definitely will micromanage me more and became distant.
What has been you experience with others post diagnosis.?

Worst reaction was from a locum GP who was really inappropriate about it! My kids weren't remotely surprised. Husband is fine about it but sometimes acts like I use it as an excuse 🤷‍♀️ friends and workmates are interested but non-judgemental.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 54. It was a complete surprise to me as it wasn’t something that had ever occurred to me (until a psychologist who I was talking to about something else suggested I might have it).

I still haven’t told anyone in my family. Pretty sure my Dad has it too but at age 82, I don’t want to shock him so I’m still pondering about if we ever have the conversation. My employer knows (they paid privately for my assessment) and quite a few colleagues. I’ve told a couple of close male friends and they weren’t at all surprised whereas my close female friends were very surprised indeed. Interesting how different the reaction was between the sexes.

I realised I had ADHD after my adult son was diagnosed, and then sought assessment as I had been struggling since perimenopause started. I was diagnosed last year aged 53.
I was open and honest with everyone about it but have learnt who I can and can’t talk to. Some people have always been dismissive, even after diagnosis, and some are genuinely curious and ask me about it.
I really don’t think anyone truly understands what it’s like to have ADHD, though, unless they have it themselves or live/work closely with someone who does.
I’m hoping the medication I’ve just started on will work for me and give me a bit of ease in my life.

Yes my old male boss said he knew I had it 🤣
I could run rings around him and he is 25 yrs younger than me.
ForwittytealOP what did the locum say.?

I was diagnosed 2yrs ago at 51. Told a few friends, they weren't bothered. Told my DM and she said it was all rubbish, it's a made up thing, it doesn't exist. Not exactly supportive.

I don't think people are generally interested in knowing someone has a diagnosis of any kind, unless they're a friend or loved one.

Private therapists are advertising assessments on radio and other media projects. I'm not surprised more and more adults are being diagnosed .

When something becomes so commonly diagnosed, it loses the shock factor and understanding.

Chippytea71 I hope meds work well for you.
Mine reared it's ugly head during menopause.Luckily I got the go go go type so I can get loads done.
Unfortunately my mouth goes a million miles per hour too so now I'm working on deliberately not speaking so much.
My mind can be crammed so full of ideas I chatter to let some out.
I reckon any autistic traits I have have counteracted my ADHD so I am on top of chores bills etc so no one suspected anything.

Dinolil sorry to hear that.I feel similar to you.Have you taken any meds.?

Emeraldshamrock000
I think diagnosis can help explain interrupting or task switching or an autism diagnosis can explain alot to a person.
Many people have spent a lifetime trying to fit in only to realise their brain works differently.

What medication are you on?

the psychiatrist said to me that I’ve done well in life with job family house etc that not sure medication would be worth it as I’ve managed so far. Not sure if I agree

Autism, at 36. Work have been fine. My partner apparently already thought I was. Im not telling my family - I wont lie, i'm just not going to bring it up,

Reading with interest. I suspect I have ADHD and have just decided to pursue a diagnosis because I'd like to try medication. Having chatted with friends over the years, they seem to fall into two strictly separate camps: they suspect they have themselves (or they have a diagnosis) of ADHD or Autism, and have long since suspected I have, or are absolutely horrified and think I'm being led astray by reading the wrong stuff on the internet 🙄 - I'm REALLY surprised that one of my closest friends was the latter, but then again I remember 8 years ago when another friend told me she had her son assessed for ADHD and suspected it of herself, I thought she was making convenient excuses and talking herself into symptoms😶😅

I’m late diagnosed autistic and literally no one I’ve told has been surprised. I thought everyone would be shocked! Some people were surprised I didn’t already have a diagnosis as they thought I already knew. Everyone has been supportive.

Late diagnosed ADHD here when menopause made my symptoms completely unmanageable.

DH and grown-up kids were all very supportive. It made sense of a lot of my behaviours and medication has helped even me out which has made things easier at home. Both kids have since been diagnosed officially as ADHD.

I told a couple of close friends who were completely unsurprised and supportive. I haven't told my very elderly parents (I suspect they are autistic/adhd too) because they would poo-poo it.

I only told one colleague who has barely spoken to me since, so I haven't told anyone else at work and don't intend to. I work in a very competitive industry where any 'weakness' is weaponised. There's still a lot of prejudice out there. Ironically, I am fairly sure that the colleague who reacted badly also has undiagnosed ADHD.

Diagnosed with ADHD age 50. Like a previous poster, realised I had it after my child was diagnosed as a teen. Told my elderly mum. She doesn’t have much insight really but it possibly helped her a bit with understanding me.

Some friends unsupportive along the lines of ‘ everyone is a bit really’, others dismissive by not mentioning it at all, which I suspect is for the same reason.

Several colleagues mostly remarked at how well I hide it. Yes, that’s why I’m always knackered… fatigue from masking.

Husband and kids all either diagnosed or many traits of neurodivergent conditions. They get it.

With that attitude, I’d find a better psychiatrist. That’s appalling!

Yes I can understand people who think they have ADHD or autism or both reacting badly when another person actually gets a diagnosis.Several of my colleagues have quirks so noticeable that it wouldn't surprise me if they got diagnosed.

My ds thought I had autism and it wouldn't surprise me if he did.
My DD was told by an ADHD friend yrs ago they think she has it.I agree.

DD was diagnosed with autism at 14 and ADHD at 15. It’s only from doing so much research to try and help her that I’ve started to think I have ADHD too. I’ve been referred by my GP and just waiting for my appointment to come through. I paid privately for DD’s assessment but can wait for mine. I’m 58 so while I’d like to know it’s not urgent.

I think more people seem to have adhd than don’t now. Whoever goes for the diagnosis gets it. I don’t even raise my eyebrows anymore. You’re just normal

OP, I'm same age as you. I was diagnosed with ADHD last month. I got my autism diagnosis about 3 years ago.

My workplace was very supportive about the autism diagnosis. They don't yet know about the ADHD diagnosis. I work in a leisure centre and most of the staff are in their 20s and a very high proportion of them have some form of neurodivergence.

My friends have been less understanding and some of them can't see why I bothered to get a diagnosis. One in particular - when I told her that something I did (can't remember what) was due to autism, she said it can't be because I hadn't done it before. I had to spend ages explaining how 'symptoms' are not set in stone and how autism is very much a reaction to the environment.

DB has been understanding- he is waiting for autism and ADHD diagnoses himself. DM seems a bit nonplussed - she never mentions it. I'm convinced DM has ADHD.

Absolutely no one was surprised. In fact most people were only shocked that I’d not not been assessed for adhd sooner.

Im still in two minds about an ASD assessment. I’m not sure what I’d gain from it. I don’t think I need acceptance of who I am or why I am like I am ( late 50s)

I think that’s partly why I was missed - because I have autistic traits, too.

Love sandbanks I'm going for the ASD assessment.
It might explain my eating disorder and crippling social anxiety for huge chunks of my life and why people pull away from me.

Chippytea71 that's interesting.