How did your friends, family or colleagues take your late diagnosis of ADHD/autism?

[whatisforteamum]

So after a rough 18 months in a job I decided to get assessed for A D H D.
I was quite surprised to find out I do have Hyperactive Impulsive type and it was suggested I get assessed for autism as I have some traits.
I'm 58 so quite a thing to learn after all these decades.
I think it was informative for my adult dcs one of which I think has ADHD anyway.
My DH kind of implied he put up with me and now is trying to understand.
I told my newish work colleagues who I had mentioned I was in a long queue as they had family members who went private and when I told them the outcome a couple were nicer than before and a couple definitely will micromanage me more and became distant.
What has been you experience with others post diagnosis.?

Why can’t we accept that hot classrooms of 30 odd kids with constant chatter and overly bright lights are no good for ANY kid, ND or not.

Nor, for that matter, soulless offices with no fresh air, open plan layout and AC/harsh artificial lighting for adults. Staring at screens for hours on end.

It’s unnatural. This world is so overstimulating. It’s exhausting.

No wonder so many humans are fed up.

I was late diagnosed last year at 29. Every NHS professional I come into contact with just judges the fact I went private, husband is just happy I'm feeling a lot better on medication, not currently working but I've never had a supportive employer, my mum was upset and apologised thinking she failed me as a child as I wasn't diagnosed then, an auntie said that I'm just a brat and my mum should be harsher with me if I have an emotional outburst 🙃😂 x

Two work colleagues in their 40s have told me about their recent ADHD diagnoses (separately). I’ve had quite in depth conversations with both of them about it as I was curious and my son is recently diagnosed. They both told me it has been life changing for them. I don’t currently work closely with either of them but I used to. It’s not something I had picked up on, and there’s no judgement from me and it would not change anything if I still worked closely with them.

💯

I'm on maternity leave? Twat.

🤣🤣 I'm still with your auntie! But I deserved that!

So being ND and struggling with emotional regulation makes me a brat? Ok.

While I believe there's a conversation to be had about overdiagnosis and the influence of social media on 'trendy' conditions and diseases, saying it's all bollocks is also overreach. Are you aware that ADHD can be identified from a brain scan? Quite literally the ADHD brain shows physical symptoms. I'm not saying everyone who watches a TikTok and runs off to be diagnosed at the moment has ADHD but I think you should educate yourself a bit more before totally dismissing structural differences in the brain.

I'd also ask you what I would ask anyone displaying your scepticism: please explain to me, if my brain is not different, why do stimulants sedate me? How does that work if I'm the same as you?

I'm not sensitive or easily offended, but people like you piss me off. You're in a bad mood so let's take it out on strangers on the internet who are having a conversation about their experience being ND. I spent my entire life being an emotionally unregulated ball of failure who didn't understand why I am the way I am. I contemplated suicide many times because I didn't understand how I couldn't do what everyone else did and found so easy / simple. You can say it's over diagnosis if you want, but what it really is, is A LOT of people who have fought for help their entire life and didn't get it and now they have the opportunity to, they are doing it. Medication has changed my life and if I wasn't ND it wouldn't have done that.

At the right dose, most people find stimulants help them focus. Thats why people on speed can clean and clean and clean! A lot of people have executive functions that are not optimum. We all have different brains. Of course some people who find it hard to concentrate or have executive problems will have different brains to people with other issues. We r all different and all have different brains. Trauma and ACES also impact the brain development.

I am just in a bad mood, and probably was a bit blanket in my skepticism. I do understand some children can have severe developmental difficulties, and autism may be an appropriate diagnosis for some, especially when someone is non verbal etc...

But the amount of adults getting private diagnoses (and traumatised children being referred for diagnoses) is exponential and ridiculous in my opinion. People seem to want to be special/different etc.. one woman I know that's got herself an ADHD and ASD diagnosis doesn't need it. She is disappointed that despite a successful family life, husband, degree, phD and job, she isn't in the "successful" career her parents would like her to be. So the diagnoses are excuses for why she 'failed' to be successful! (failed!!? Ha, with a great family and a PhD. Get over yourself.)

I think anyone that wants a diagnosis these days can get one. So what is the bloody point. We r all different, we r all unique, we all have challenges. No, Claire from number 10 doesn't have ADHD just because she bought a book on it and has convinced the psychiatrist she has all the symptoms she read about and now wears the label.

The world is bonkers.

Yes. I'm in a number of ND groups and this happens regularly.

Most people who go for an assessment do get diagnosed because the first stage of diagnosis is to fill out lots of screener questionnaires. The psychiatrist I saw recently says she cancels the appointment if it looks like from the questionnaires that a diagnosis will be unlikely.

I am so sorry that you have been through such difficult times with your mental health and have felt suicidal. That sounds awful and I really feel for you.

I couldn't do what everyone else did and found so easy / simple

How do my you know everyone else finds these things easy/simple??

We all struggle. We r all different.

Well everyone I've asked how they do it say they've never thought about how they do it they just manage to do it and it's never bothered them or been an issue. Things like brushing their teeth they've never had to remind / make themselves to do this - as an example.

@AnonFeelingAngryTodaySorryInAdvance
"At the right dose, most people find stimulants help them focus. Thats why people on speed can clean and clean and clean! "

I think that's what you're not getting and where you probably need to educate yourself more before coming to this conclusion - speed doesn't do that, far from it. Without the speed I can and do clean and clean and clean. Hyperfocus if you like. Amphetamines/caffeine/stimulants in general have the opposite effect. They calm me right down and I can sleep better. Again, explain that.

So some people you know don't struggle with some tasks.

There's loads of people that forget to brush their teeth and there are lots and lots of things that impact that - poor working memory, executive differences, not raised in a way that makes it habit, feeling low, .......

I get that you feel different to the people you know. Pretty much everyone is different from everyone else.

Stimulants, caffeine etc.. calm me right down too! 🤷

Not read all the comments (because ADHD 😆) but I’ve found it’s v chalk or cheese. People are either fully supportive or fully dismissive.

Funnily enough, the supportive ones are people who have or I’d suspect have neurodivergence themselves. The others are just rigid and plain not willing to indulge in it.

2 years on Elvanse now and it’s not a magic bullet. It gives you the brain space to be able to change patterns of behaviour to manage life better. You still need to put in the work. And there are still a lot of things you can’t change and have to adapt to.

Incorrect.

To get an ADHD diagnosis according to the Diva criteria, you need to have had symptoms severely impact your life in at least two areas ie work/education/relationships/home management.

ADHD isn’t just struggling with some tasks, it is a neurodevelopmental condition that causes the person to have an inability to regulate: attention, emotions and behaviour.

I suggest you better educate yourself before you start spouting the “we all struggle” bs. And yes I am offended by your attitude. It has no place. Mind your own, stay in your lane, leave us alone.

If only there was a diagnostic criteria to enable diagnosis instead of just handing out diagnoses for shits and giggles. Maybe people want to be disabled because it’s so much fun?

That's your opinion. It differs from mine. We r allowed to have different views. And I firmly believe ADHD (and ASD) are overdiagnosed. I am extremely unlikely to change my opinion on that.

Yours is opinion based on mis-truths.

Mine is fact based on science and lived experience.

Let’s not feed it.

@LegoTherapy thanks, I needed that. Off to do something constructive instead. 💪🏻

Diagnostic criteria are not opinion though...