Abusive ex husband begging to come back back saying he doesn’t remember the past

[FastMintSheep]

me again 🙂 long story short I left abusive husband after 17 years he is a Muslim man I am a white woman I say this because I reverted to Islam for him in the end I was forced to cover up,prayer etc so were my children,he was physically,emotionally and financially abusive to us,at the time he was taking a lot of illicit tablets and he ended up trying to take his life he also ended up with psychosis he became quiet and withdrawn the abuse stopped he changed completely I ended up looking after him for around 3 years but in the end I couldn’t take it anymore,he has turned into a slob hardly acknowledging us,doesn’t wash ,no motivation I hate him,I took my children left the city and now we are in temporary accommodation all happy,my ex husband does not leave me alone constantly phoning texting etc,he said he will change,he will do anything I want,my children don’t want him back, he has never begged me before like this,he said he doesn’t remember the stuff he has done and he’s sorry he is begging for one more chance,I don’t love him at all but I feel sorry for him I don’t know what to do

You keep running. He doesn’t love you he misses you looking after him. Good luck

You say you’re very lucky not to remember how truly awful you were but unfortunately for me I remember very clearly and we are never ever ever getting back together after how you treated me and your children.

Block him for start. He wants a carer and nothing more.

Please, please don't let him come back.You have had years of abuse.
Don't believe him Good luck, have a happy life with you and your children

This. You know he hasn’t changed.

You get in touch with the police and domestic violence services/social care etc. And you never respond to him.

He’s an abusive, dirty, incompetent, incompetent, drug-addicted liar. Not a husband or a dad.

What should you do? Change your phone number and don't look back!

Do not get back together with this man, you will be putting you and your childrens safety at risk.

Block his number. Do not try to help him - it is not your job anymore and getting involved with him on any level will harm you.

If he needs to contact you could e.g. set up an email account that he can email you at, then ask someone else to check it and only pass on stuff if it is genuinely urgent.

You're happy now. Why would you risk that?
(He may have changed but did he have treatment to help him do so?
If not I doubt he has changed much if at all.)
Too big a risk, IMO.

Don't respond to him at all. You've done so well to get out.

Read through your op. What would advise your best friend or your daughter to do in this position? He does remember. And more importantly YOU REMEMBER.

Tell him for the sake of your children you are very glad that he will change as he is still their father. Tell him you will only communicate via email and if he continues to harass you via phone you will block him, and do it if he doesn’t comply.

You are free of him. Do not get sucked back in. It’s lies. If he wanted to change why didn’t he do it for you before?

Stand firm. Good luck.

Run for your life

From one Muslim to another - please tell him a big, fat NO! He has failed his Islamic duties as a husband and father and doesn't deserve you or the kids. He had no right to force you or the kids to pray or cover up.

Please stay far away from him and stay safe. Don't give him your address.

You do know what to do. Ignore him.

Block and run
you are not responsible for this tragic man
your kids deserve better and to be protected do not allow un supervised contact or better still nine at all

If you take this man back, you don’t deserve those children or to be a mother. And I mean that as harshly as it sounds

Well done for leaving him. You don't go back.

He doesnt want you - he wants the services you provide. Dont for one second consider saying yes.
Consider how much happier you are now. Safer. Able to make your own choices etc. Your children are happier too. Even though your situation right now isnt fabulous (temporary accomodation, new surroundings etc) you are on the up, on your way to your new you. Keep at it and dont let him change your mind. If you say yes........... you'll be back in the urgh within weeks.

For god's sake NO. He doesn't love you. He's just sorry for himself. Maybe he's getting some stick from his community? Change your phone number and ignore him.

Oh come on! Of course you block him and move on. His promises are worthless. And he can never repay you for the years you and your children have lost to his abuse.

He's very sorry but doesn’t remember what he did? Someone’s missing their free housekeeping service and regular hot meals.

Yeah jog on mate. 😡

Absolutely not! Think of your children! Protect them and keep moving forward!

You know they don't change. Therapy doesn't work either btw if he tried to throw this one at you. He is an abuser, he isn't mentally unwell he is abusive. It's his choice to behave this way. It's not a diagnosable condition it is him. He's shown you who he is and you chose to run
Keep running I'd say

It isn't 't clear which vote is which, however I have voted YABU, because you are even contemplating whether you should give this man another chance and asking MN what you should do!

In short - NO. Do not do this. You have done the difficult bit of leaving him. Do not let him suck you back in.