To ask for some support? DP disappeared and worried about an accident

[Ubadl]

DP does a weekly 4-5 hour drive each Friday and Sunday as he’s currently on a placement several hours away. He stayed a bit late last night as he wanted to chat to DS as he went to bed and then he set off at 9pm.

His battery had died before he left and he said he may not be able to charge in the car because of a dodgy connection. However he has work at 8am and is usually absolutely obsessed with being on time for work and I’ve not heard a thing. He always messages when he’s at hotel.

ive been googling accidents and having dark thoughts and just looking for a hand hold. Surely by now he’d have battery?!

OP, you need to ring the police now. He was due at work nearly three hours ago and you haven’t heard anything. They have more powers than you do and will at least be able to see if he’s okay or if his car has been found somewhere.

Have you checked his wardrobe & clothes, Personal items has he taken stuff he wouldn't normally take? Could it be possible he's used the dead fone to be able to leave?

no need for drama. he will contact you when he can op

You can get wireless chargers, you just put the phone on top of it. Saves cost of a new phone- and this happening again!

I understand you’ve called his work to ask if he is there and they couldn’t tell you anything. I’d try again, give his name and ask to be put through to him.

You say he hasn’t emailed you. Have you tried emailing him? And does he use Teams? If so you could message on there and may be able to see if he is online or not.

You can contact the police non emergency line. They can check with work presumably if you are getting nowhere and file a missing person’s report.

You can also ring hospitals. I have had to do this frequently for a friend who has a habit of going missing - I am actually his next of kin now but they never ask and wasn’t the first few times I did it. You may have to ring ED separately from A&E (we do at my local hospital)

i don’t think she’s being dramatic - he should have been in touch last night and it’s now gone 10am and she hasn’t heard anything. It’s totally normal to be worried in a situation like that.

I hope you get an answer soon OP.

Hopefully you hear soon. Shame he didn't stay home and sleep and leave earlier to reach work. If you ring the hotel they can transfer you to his room. He's probably in work by now, I think he may have not thought about emailing you, probably thought oh phone dead I'll ring when it's sorted. Sorry if I missed it but have you emailed him ?

oh Op, thinking of you. My DH had long commutes in the pre mobile phone days, once he was three hours late. I was stricken with worry, turns out there was an accident.

I work in payroll, and depending on the workplace, if he is only a contractor it would take ages to find his employee details. Do you know if you are registered as the NOK?

It might be worth giving your PIL care home / carers a ring to see if they have heard anything?

sorry, i was referring to posters catastrophising the issue, clothes checking, demanding police contact NOW.

my advice is to stay calm and wait for him to contact op

Really am grateful for the support. I don’t know what me and ds will do without him if something has happened. I am going to leave it until 12 and then reconsider what to do

The most likely thing is that the phone is dead and he has not charged it for some reason, maybe the charger is broken.

OK this is out of the box thinking but could you buy a phone from Argos and have it delivered to the hotel or his work? Argos do same day delivery.

I know if it is delivered to the hotel he won't get it until late afternoon / evening but you said he needs a new phone. A Nokia would be about £20.

Wow you clearly don’t have any close relationships or people you worry about. Your comment is really unhelpful.

it is meant to be helpful.

you are absolutely not being dramatic. Call the hotel and work and tell them you will be contacting the police if they cannot confirm where he is.

he could have gone off the road or the motorway and be in a ditch somewhere (sorry OP) so it’s imperative he’s located.

Just thinking if there was an accident wouldn’t they try and charge his phone? If so his messages would deliver? So that suggests maybe he is fine and just hasn’t had chance to charge it

I'd email him on his work email if you haven't already just to put your mind at rest.

I'd also phone the hotel if you know it to confirm.he checked in

spectacularly unhelpful

Can't you contact his boss or whatever emergency number you have for his work?

No, not necessarily.

How long is he meant to be away for? I know the hotel won’t give out his details but surely they can pass on a message so that if you’ve not heard from him by the end of the work day they can ask him to call you when he gets back there. Hopefully it’ll all be sorted way before then though.

She has. They haven’t called her back yet.

Yes, they would try to contact his family somehow. The most likely explanation is the phone is kaput. Probably he has rushed to get up and get to work not having time to deal with the phone. And perhaps at work (if as you say it is some kind of placement) he has not yet had a chance to log on the his laptop and email you.

No new is good news. I think you will hear form him soon.

The hotel will not be bullied into breaching GDPR.

Or any abusive ex partner could get whatever information they wanted.