To ask for some support? DP disappeared and worried about an accident

[Ubadl]

DP does a weekly 4-5 hour drive each Friday and Sunday as he’s currently on a placement several hours away. He stayed a bit late last night as he wanted to chat to DS as he went to bed and then he set off at 9pm.

His battery had died before he left and he said he may not be able to charge in the car because of a dodgy connection. However he has work at 8am and is usually absolutely obsessed with being on time for work and I’ve not heard a thing. He always messages when he’s at hotel.

ive been googling accidents and having dark thoughts and just looking for a hand hold. Surely by now he’d have battery?!

How about work? I know it's not straightforward, but if you said it was an emergency?

I would phone 101 and request a welfare check at the hotel and his place of work.
I'm sure there's a simple explanation for his disappearance. As others have said, he's tired, his phone may not have charged - no news is good news, as my granny likes to say.

If you know his hotel you can call local police and ask if they can contact the hotel for a welfare check.

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I second what a PP said about no M6 accidents this way, the stretch of M6 between 32 and 34 is notorious for queues so there is a FB group for the motorways round here and there's nothing on it. What junction does he normally come off?
If he always has his laptop, does he have Teams on it? I sometimes message DH at work that way.

Do people just not read the OPs posts anymore more before wading in wasting their time with suggestions that OP has said she's already tried or can't do?

You really think she'd be on here posting for over 2 hrs worried sick without thinking 'hmm, could I call him on his 'phone ? Could I call his work? Could I call his hotel'?

That's a good idea. It's already past 10am, so he should have been able to contact you by some means, even very briefly.

I bet there’s an explanation which is no consolation at the moment.

Feel mostly anger now as he will absolutely know I’m worried sick. It’s just ridiculous not to email me if his phone is broken. There’s just no way he wouldn’t be at work by now, he is absolutely obsessed with his job. I am so confused and upset. I realise I sound dramatic but as time goes on I have more and more thoughts pop into my head. It’s awful.

She won’t get a knock on the door because the car isn’t registered to their current address and she’s not his legal NOK.

I’ve checked that Facebook page thank you to those who mentioned it. I can’t see any accidents from when he would have been on that road

I think you need to call the police now. They can track him down more easily than you.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. Hopefully it’s something as silly as he plugged his charger in and it failed, so he’s slept right through. My teen son has certainly caused me a few sleepless nights doing similar!

Call his work on their landline and ask to be put through?

@Ubadlhe’s a grown man with and partner and child .
There is no excuse for not emailing .

Yep.

I'm sorry op I would be worried to he should have emailed hopefully you hear back soon

She has, they can’t contact him as he’s not technically an employee.

I meant that he didn’t know the phone wasn’t charging, had fallen asleep, and is still sleeping.

Have you tried calling the hotel and just asking to be transferred to your husbands room?

I know you are worried sick (been there!) but the most likely explanation really is the phone is out of charge and/or he has overslept and not been able to open his laptop yet to email you because he has been rushing to get to work.

But presumably he is meant to be on site by now?

I just want to ask, you said he stayed late to talk to your ds - have you asked him what they talked about.

you also said he was really tired, was in mental exhaustion or depression possibly, could he have taken himself for a break somewhere - I’m not thinking other woman, more overworked and under pressure and just ‘clocked off’ for a while (not ok but still better than many alternatives)

Yes, she says they’re getting for someone to call her back. But as she’s not his legal NOK or spouse they may not actually be able to tell her anything.

@Boreded we’d had a great day and think they were just chatting about that. Ds is little still so not really something I could massively go into with him.

I definitely don’t think anything else is going on other than the worry of being very tried and facing that sort of drive

As someone who has anxiety over this exact thing,I really feel for you (it drives me insane i have it, but if I don’t know someone is travelling I’m absolutely fine, if I do and they don’t say I’m here within how long it should roughly take to get somewhere, I spiral check for accidents on routes etc, been to therapy over it and didn’t really help as I’m still like it) Yes he’s a grown man etc but that doesn’t help when you’re feeling like this. Logically there is likely a very simple explanation and try to focus on these, but I get your mind is like nope something must have happened, as it is out of his character and he knows it’s important to you to let you know he’s arrived ok. I really do hope he is ok and that if he is he is apologetic to put you through this if so.

I think if people who are saying why are you worried if they were in the same situation I’m sure there would be a slight bit of worry, even though your think you would be pretty cool about it