Manager asking me to attend a meeting tomorrow when I’m not working tomorrow

[PondAndSea]

I’m a kinship foster carer to 2 family members children.

I also work full time. A few weeks ago I told my manager that I won’t be working tomorrow (9th June) as I’m attending our local fostering service conference (arranged by the council that I foster under). Work never officially agreed to me having the day off for the fostering conference but they never said no either, I basically just told them I wasn’t working that day because I was attending the fostering conference which is important and work or my manager never actually said yes to it but they didn’t say no either.

Today my manager has rang me up asking me to attend a meeting tomorrow morning and then has got very annoyed with me when I reminded him that I wasn’t working tomorrow because I’m at the fostering conference. He’s known for weeks that I’m attending the fostering conference tomorrow so won’t be working that day, and it’s only one day and I never have any time off (except annual leave. But I’ve never been off sick or anything).

My manager is now very annoyed that I won’t be at the meeting tomorrow that he wants me to attend.

AIBU to think he shouldn’t be annoyed at me over this?

There’s not a lot that I can do though as I need to attend the fostering conference and it’s only one day! He also knows that I will catch up on any work missed tomorrow as well.

Did you book it off as leave? This is all a bit odd.

Why didn’t you just take the day off as annual leave? It’s not a day of CPD for your current role (I assume) so it really should just be taken as a day off to avoid being called into meetings.

seems a bit like the lines have been blurred.

You needed to book it as annual leave, you can't just decide not to go in because you have something else to do.

If yiu hadn't properly booked it off as leave then I can understand why your manager is annoyed.

I don't think you can just announce that you're not coming in! You need to book it using whatever formal process you have at work. If it wasn't logged in the system then it wouldn't have been flagged to your boss when he booked the meeting. This is on you.

You should have made sure the manager said yes and got it approved in writing. You can't expect him to remember details of your personal life, especially as he didn't actually confirm it in the first place.

I can’t book it as annual leave as we have a policy that you need to give at least 2 months notice for annual leave (although my boss has admitted before now that they don’t actually need 2 months notice to make it work but that they can’t go against the annual leave policy so everyone has to give 2 months notice when booking leave even though they don’t actually need 2 months notice to make it work) and I only found out about the fostering conference 3 weeks ago and told my manager straight away.

Yeah, you needed to have booked annual leave (or possibly special/ parental leave if the rain for attending the conference and your HR policies allow). You can't just say you're not coming in and expect that to be ok - what mage you think it would be?

My manager already knew about the fostering conference and he knew that I wouldn’t be working that day. He never said no to me attending the conference.

But isn’t not holiday leave. It’s a fostering conference. It’s probably on a par with jury service. It’s a public service that a work place should support. Also why are they phoning you anyway on a Sunday?

I’m not sure what else I can do though because I need to attend the fostering conference and can’t not attend it!

Either you are on annual leave or you are working?

Do you have agreed permission in writing that you have this day off? If not then I think it's hard to defend your position. I also think if your fostering means things like this come up at less than 2 months notice you need to make a plan with your manager as to how you'll work around the system as it's probably just a manual workaround you need to organize...in advance.

Um - you do understand you are contracted for work?

Not surprised they are pissed off with you.

Was it not your responsibility to chase up your email requesting time off tomorrow?

Did you put in a request for the day in line with the company policy for absence ? Just telling them doesn’t give you an automatic right to take the time and they are not obliged to give you a formal decline if you didn’t request it in line with policy. If you haven’t then your boss has a right to be annoyed and HR could make this unpaid leave / consider it a disciplinary if they decided to follow policy to the letter. That said many companies give time for matters relating to fostering and ultimately might be within policy. A take away for you in future is to make sure you put a formal request so you get formal acknowledgement and then there can be no misunderstanding or confusion on either side.

He's annoyed but is he actually going to sack you over it?

You're replaceable at work but not at home - so family always comes first.

So your manager did not say yes or no. You should have got confirmation either way, that's your responsibility. 2 months seems very unreasonable for notice for annual leave

If you weren't able to book annual leave and you didn't get agreement for the day off in writing (presumably to make back the hours later) then you shouldn't have assumed you can go. Can you join the meeting via teams from a quiet room at the conference? Or your car?

Yes, but crucially he also didn't say yes and log it into the system. This is why you find yourself in this situation.

He’s definitely not going to sack me for it

It is nothing like jury service, it is something the OP has chosen to do.

You can't just take a day off work whenever you want OP, don't be daft!!

Unfortunately I don’t think you have a leg to stand on. If the conference was so important you should have chased up permission to attend.

Yeah agree. Sorry OP this is on you I think. You should have chased via email for confirmation and not just assumed.

Your manager could have easily forgotten if it didn't go through the usual process.

It’s either annual leave or not OP. You can’t just have a ‘free day off work’ - that’s not how it works surely you know this. What did you expect? Just to have the day off but it not be annual leave?