Manager asking me to attend a meeting tomorrow when I’m not working tomorrow

[PondAndSea]

I’m a kinship foster carer to 2 family members children.

I also work full time. A few weeks ago I told my manager that I won’t be working tomorrow (9th June) as I’m attending our local fostering service conference (arranged by the council that I foster under). Work never officially agreed to me having the day off for the fostering conference but they never said no either, I basically just told them I wasn’t working that day because I was attending the fostering conference which is important and work or my manager never actually said yes to it but they didn’t say no either.

Today my manager has rang me up asking me to attend a meeting tomorrow morning and then has got very annoyed with me when I reminded him that I wasn’t working tomorrow because I’m at the fostering conference. He’s known for weeks that I’m attending the fostering conference tomorrow so won’t be working that day, and it’s only one day and I never have any time off (except annual leave. But I’ve never been off sick or anything).

My manager is now very annoyed that I won’t be at the meeting tomorrow that he wants me to attend.

AIBU to think he shouldn’t be annoyed at me over this?

There’s not a lot that I can do though as I need to attend the fostering conference and it’s only one day! He also knows that I will catch up on any work missed tomorrow as well.

You've fucked up here and should have got confirmation that you can have the day off.

Ok so you've acted unprofessionally but it's not the end of the world.

If it happens again, just make sure you chase the formal email request so you both know where you stand.

I'm sure if you were booking a day's holiday you'd make sure it had been approved?

Your boss rang you on a non work day? Why did he call you to attend a meeting if he was expecting you to be in work anyway?

Unfortunately if the policy is 2 months for annual leave you need to ensure you get more notice in the future, make sure your social worker is aware. Too late now but it’s not your employer’s responsibility to give you time off for this as it’s personal, the draconian annual leave policy is the issue (which I’m guessing isn’t fine to your boss)

He did reply to my email, I emailed him and told him as soon as I found out about the fostering conference. He never said yes or no to it. He literally just replied to my email with “ok” and that was it!

Exactly! Can you imagine the chaos if people just took a day off work when they had to attend something. OP is being quite cheeky trying to take time off but not using leave.

So you needed to chase it up.

How could I get more notice when they didn’t know the date of the conference until 3 weeks before though?

I do need to attend the fostering conference though!

What’s the conference ? Why do you have to go?

I would also be pissed off it was organised with 3 weeks notice, on the expectation I would be free. If it’s essential I attend, I would expect someone to check

I always put my Leave into my managers calendar (as well as onto the Leave system), so she can easily see it.

I did and he never replied after his initial reply just saying “ok”!

You don't need to attend the conference at all.

I wouldn’t worry about it. You did tell him and he responded with ‘ok’. If he’d never responded at all then I would say you were in the wrong, but he did acknowledge it and had the opportunity to say no.

The meeting can continue without you there & he will have to get over it. Not your problem.

Twp months notice to put in for AL. I know it depends on the job, but I couldn't work like that.

OP, its your responsibility, if you were unsure you should have spoken to your manager, not relied on email.

It’s a fostering service conference by the council that I foster with, the council/fostering service are running the conference.

I’d have taken that as a yes, otherwise he’d have replied that it’s “not ok”.

Missing the point, but are his replies always so curt (or downright rude)?

I did email him and I chased it up too and he never said no? He simply just said “ok”!

I think 'ok' is functionally the same as 'yes' in this circumstance.

For next time, send him a reminder email the week before as well.

I understand that, but why is it essential you go ? What’s being discussed, is is specifically about the children you care for ? Is it anything that can’t be covered in an email ?

Do you think he's done this deliberately?

I do need to attend it.

Can't you take it as emergency parental leave? I have no idea of the rules but this would be sensible.

This is all a bit of a drip feed now.

If you asked formally via email, he said 'ok', then you chased it up but never got a reply, I don't know what you want from this thread really?

You said in your OP Work never officially agreed to me having the day off for the fostering conference.

So it would've required an urgent conversation, even if you had to copy in HR or his line manager.

He's failed to give an answer but you've failed to demand one.

Fair enough you shouldn't have to, but that was the situation you were in.

"Hi Dave, sorry but I really need a yes or no answer to this as the conference is next week".

Ok is acceptance; although blocking calendars and checking annual leave is updated might be expected, you got an OK. Sometimes leave is inconvenient. I'd see if there is any pre- work, partial dial- in or follow-up that you can do to support in some way.