Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

It would be a huge no from me

No. Don't do it. If he doesn't have the money to put down how would he pay her back this 'short term' loan?

God no! Don't let her do this OP

IF she does it and I don’t think she sbould I would ensure the loan agreement is drawn up by a solicitor and very clearly states it is a loan and that he has to pay back within certain times
But there’s no guarantee he would do it and then what?!
he said he won’t marry her - red flag - but he wants her to loan her life savings
absolutely not
its his issue to solve of their finances are separate and they are unmarried

wtf no!

it would be mad to do this for all sorts of reasons!

No. If he’s not prepared to put her in the deeds then he doesn’t trust her, so why should she trust him?
She could go see a lawyer, get a charge drawn up and register it, though obvs there would be delay and expense in enforcing it should it be necessary, but at least she’d have some protection then.

Why can’t he wait til the current house is sold? It would be an absolute no from me.

Good grief, NO! He really wants his cake and to eat it too doesn’t he?

Nope. And if she feels inclined to do it she would need to take legal advice and get a watertight contract drawn up and signed before a penny is handed over.

Get her to a solicitor pronto so that he can explain very clearly why this is a terrible idea

I’m literally screaming at my laptop that this is such a a bad idea. No no no. She must not do this.

How could she get it back

If he died? She probably wouldn't. Ditto if he just chose not to return it.

She wants her head examining even to consider it.

Just no. Red flags everywhere

How much is he asking for?

No way anyway. How can she trust him when he won’t marry her/put her on the deeds/give her anything in his will?

So she’s not good enough to marry or put on the deeds but good enough to give him her life savings? She needs to run and never look back

No. Fucking. Way.

She would be mad to do this.

Absolutely not. 100% no way!!!

She could potentially lose the lot.

Absolutely no way would i do this. If he wants a loan, get one from the bank like everyone else does.

There is nothing to stop him taking that money & never paying it back again.

That is your mums money & it needs to stay that way.

He clearly doesn't view your mum as a long term partner, despite their son, as he has not shared what will happen if he was tonfie before her - it looks like he would leave all her assets to his adult children & 'hope' they would look after their half brother (unlikely if you regularly read through threads on MN).

Your mum needs to protect her assest & her cash & keep it all in her own name. She also needs a will to clarify where this will all go when she dies (spoiler - it should go to her children & not her 'partner').

Massive no from me

No. She is not a bank. She doesn’t have leverage to get the money back if he defaults.

Her name on the deed or marriage is the collateral needed for a loan—that us the collateral individuals offer and take when doung a loan outside the banking or loan shark industry.

Also her miney goes to her children and her needs. He is keeping his money for his. She should not be a fool.

This absolutely. IF she really wants to go ahead, she needs rock solid legal advice. The issue that immediately springs to mind - what if she lends him the money (transfers it to his bank account) and then he dies before his house is sold? His Dc inherit his whole estate and your mum’s money would be gone.

Id be very reluctant to go ahead in these circumstances, unless he’s willing to look into legal advice on how she’d be protected.

No, no, no. Get a lawyer to tell her if she won’t take it from you. Easier to tell the partner if it comes from a lawyer too.

No way. He has his boundaries about marriage. She needs to stick tight to her boundaries regarding money. He can't have it both ways.

And btw some people can't rest if they know their partner has money - all they can think about it is how to get it off them.

I would not do this. If it is acceptable for him to protect his adult children's inheritance by not marrying your mum then it is acceptable for her to protect her children by keeping her money safe.

Way too risky. No no no