Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

Absolutely not. What if she were to do this and he dropped dead? The money would then be in his estate. All sorts of things that could go horribly wrong here.

They could easily buy as tenants in common with the shares reflecting what they have put in and then have wills to reflect where it goes

exaxtly where is he paying her back from anyway

will she/they listen to you and get proper legal advice - work out what they want - her the money and him the ability to leave his share to his children?

because otherwise it just looks like he is scamming her badly (and as it happens you as an adult child out of your inheritance)

He won’t put her on the deeds? So she’d basically be lending him money for a house for HIM?
Absolutely fucking not!
Tell her to give her head a wobble and tell him to fuck off with that idea.

My money would come with my name on the house.
I don't know how easy / difficult these things are but I would suggest they agree to put the house in both their names and then change that when he has the funds to repay her money, OR they have a legal agreement drawn up for the loan to be repaid asap and a will for it to be repaid in the event of his death, or he's incapacitated in some way.

No way would I agree it's just handed over with nothing formal. It's far too much money to lose.

There's that sort of saying isn't there, don't loan what you're not prepared to lose.
No one knows the future, not worth the risk.

She's being financially abused and a solicitor's advice is needed now because financial boundaries need to be put in place to safeguard her future.

Your mum's lifesaving need ring fencing immediately and put in a long term deposit account solely in her name. If she lends him the money then do it via a solicitor and make sure she puts a charge on the house so she has a claim to the deposit if sold. But I wouldn't even advise this, she needs to keep her finances separate from him and live independently. He's a shark who has spotted a financial opportunity for himself by exploiting your mum. Your mum should also write a will leaving him out of it and naming her family instead.

https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/talk-money/financial-abuse-spotting-the-signs-and-leaving-safely

Youre saying 'their' house sale, but it is his house sale, even though she lives there, if he refuses to put her on the deeds - which I would understand if all DC were from previous relationships, but they have a DS together - that's more of a commitment than marriage! How old is your brother, is he an adult?

If he's able to say no to putting your mum on the house deeds because of complications then your mum should be able to say no to this loan because it leaves her in a very precarious position

Does she cook for him? Keep the house nice and clean? Bet she arranges the holidays. Feeds the pets. Remembers the birthday cards. Sorts the car and house insurance? How about paying the bills and doing the shopping? Books GP appointments? Maybe she’s simply so grateful for his generosity she clips his toenails?
And this is all in exchange for what, a roof?

"If" being the vital word, though. No one can take a chance on an "If".
If is neither use not orniment when she's lost all her money and doesn't have a leg to stand on. How long has he known about your Mum's life savings. I'm not saying he has (well how would I know) who's to say he hasn't been planning for your years to get a loan and do runner.
You can't deny that it's suspicious that he won't put her name on the deeds.
If she was to do it she needs God Almighty himself to give her guarantees and absolutes.

A counsellor wouldn't get involved in something like this.

If something were to go wrong she's left totally high end dry with no savings and no home.

Hell, no! She cannot place herself in this position.

And no decent person would ask it of her.

Agree, I wonder if he he knew about her money somehow and then targeted her? Refusing to get married and purchase the house jointly, yet borrowing a huge sum of money in an unsecured loan, indicates someone with suspicious intentions. Please make your mother get proper legal advice if she continues to consider this.

If the mother is concerned about undue financial pressures (or other pressures) in her relationship a counsellor can help her to assess them.

I used to work in debt advisory/recovery.

Please tell your mum not to do this.
Even if he's 100% honest and well intended, people die, get ill, get fired, have mental breakdowns, other family complications etc. Things often don't work out intended.

If she won't like to you, take her to a solicitor so she's at least away of what she's doing, fully understands it and is protected as possible.

If a mainstream bank (who exists to make money in loans!) won't give someone money, then they don't expect to get it back. If they did, they would lend, their profits need them to issue good loans. If experts team him a bad risk, then he is a bad risk.

She has a much higher risk of losing the money than getting it back.

She's worried but she also trusts him.

She should not trust him.

@ColinCaterpillarsNo1Fan he has more money than her she's appreciated this so it's not all one sided. It's just very different than sharing finances or asset's as I said it's been fine up till now and it feels panicky because they really like this house and it's all rushed.
I also believe they just need to let it go until he can afford something else unless he wants to marry her etc.

More red flags than a Communist parade 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

And no decent person would ask it of her

That's the crux of the matter isn't it. He is not a 'nice guy'.
Doing this would be insanity.

If she wants to go to counselling in the first place, and there's no indication that she is looking to do so. The counsellor wouldn't be offering advice though.

No way. If she's not married or on the deeds then NO!
Please show her this thread.

I agree, if this man uses the 'if you loved me you'd do it' tactic then she needs to fire back with 'if you love me you wouldn't put me in this position'.
Your mum should say no op, any pushback from him and she should double down on that no.
But she loves him (in other words she's under his spell) will she be strong enough to stand up to him?

A bridging loan makes sense, though is expensive. Or could she could say that if her money is used, they buy as tenants in common with her then owning a percentage? Re. inheritance, her share would go to her family, his share to his. If they split, she'd only get her money once the house is sold, but it would probably have appreciated in value more than in a bank and it sounds like she doesn't expect to split.

She needs to put a charge on the property so he can't sell or transfer it without paying back what he owes her

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-n379-application-for-charging-order-on-land-cpr-part-73

https://www.weightmans.com/insights/establishing-beneficial-interest-in-property/

https://vaneatonsolicitors.co.uk/claim-joint-ownership/

https://england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/relationship_breakdown/housing_rights_of_cohabiting_sole_homeowners/occupation_rights_if_one_partner_is_the_sole_owner

An unsecured £250 000 loan? Hahahahahaha.

Someone's having a laugh.

Are they moving in together? But he won’t put her on the deeds? What happens if the split up or he dies? She’ll be homeless and her savings will be gone.

Absolutely not. He doesn't get to protect his assets while dipping into hers, even if it is temporary.