Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

No. No. No. 🚩🚩🚩
She needs to run for the hills.

She would never see her money again. He's a bloody liar.

No. Can you get a power of attorney for her as she sounds vulnerable. They are not married because he says it’s too complicated. Well it’s too complicated for your mum to lend him this cash. Tell your mum this and make sure she’s safe. If she needs to leave fast let her know she can come to you at any time.

Only a lunatic would do this

@Renabrook I agree but from her position she's looking at a beautiful new home she's not having to literally pay for.
Their current house sale has fallen through and do secure the new house a short term loan.

If everything works well it's the perfect solution.

She genuinely loves him and I believe he loves her and they seem very happy.
I think keeping finances separate so far hasn't been an issue until now.
I think on one level it all seems extremely reasonable but I just know life doesn't work like that. If something were to go wrong she's left totally high end dry with no savings and no home. Potentially Will issues from his adult DC ( they all get on well now but I know when wills and money are concerned people change).

It’s never a short term loan. People won’t even pay £100 back these days of you’ve seen some of the money threads on here.

If she does it then moor fool her but it’s a massive risk she will never see a penny of it again.

It’s a hard no but also being practical you have to declare legally whether the money is a loan to be paid back or a gift. The mortgage lender will want to know where the money is coming from and she would have to sign something to that effect I would think.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with her using the money to invest in the house but only if she is on the deeds and they then have water tight wills that let each other live there in the case of one dying etc

But honestly the easiest way out is for her to say no.

He doesn't want her on the deeds because as soon as she lends him the money he will end it and disappear.

Why would she be loaning him money to buy a bigger house to accommodate his family? Why would they not be buying together? She needs advice on making a will, etc. It'll be far less costly and less risky for your mother to pay for a holiday rental for the family when they visit.

More red flags than a communist parade.

Has she been to a solicitor for advice? There needs to be a legally binding contract drawn up including terms of repayment and what happens if something should happen to her partner before the full amount has been paid back so that she can’t be left with nothing.

Why can’t he get a bridging loan? This has massive red flags all over it if anything was to happen to him or your mum she’d never see the money.

even if she is on the deeds it’s still an unnecessarily complicated way to purchase a house
its his house, his problem to sort

NO NO NO & NO

No deeds
No marriage

So no money for him.
It's that simple.

What a chancer!

The risk is all hers though and the reward is his. He is not matching her risk in any way.

I know a couple of people in 'loving' relationships that trusted their partners in this way and then lost everything. It's so frustrating because with hindsight it was an obviously crazy risk to take

So he wants to protect his savings/investments for his kids but wants to borrow hers. Absolutely no way

In short he wants the perks of shared finances but the the sharing is one way? Hard no from me. He wants to have his cake and eat it. Too risky.

Yep, I'm sorry OP but it looks like he's been playing the long game here, biding his time....

The only way I would consider this is if she's on the deeds of the house, even if she's later removed once the money's paid back. If he won't consider the minimal hassle and financial cost of dealing with that properly and legally, then that speaks volums about his attitude to her.

This is why banks exist.

Your Mum is worried for a reason. Gut instinct is never wrong it's there for a reason. It might be different if her name was on the Deeds.

How much are we talking about in terms of her life savings? If it’s say £5k and she has £250k from her divorce settlement, then I can see why she might not think it’s a bad thing. If her life savings are say £50k, that’s obviously a much bigger risk.
If it was my mum, I’d advise her in the strongest possible terms not to do it. Are they at some point planning to buy a house together? Because if so, she absolutely must be on the deeds for that.

Secure it with a legal charge on the property. Easy enough to do.

But he wants separate finances, even though they are in a long term relationship and share a child, so he’s got separate finances, exactly as he desired. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Once their current house is sold he would pay her back
Talk is cheap, she has no way of enforcing this. I hope you can talk her out of this.
If she doesn't feel up to telling him straight then can she come up with some reason that she can't do it and insist that he gets a bank loan instead- if it's only short term it's not going to cost much in terms of interest.

Absolutely no fucking way would I even entertain this. Where is her guarantee thay she will have her money back? The fact that he has ring fenced his assets to keep her on the outside and then expect her to give him hers? Even if short term? Just no. There's no equality there at all.

Such a bad idea

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!