Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

Not do it are you absolutely insane he sounds awful - who is in his will right now.
run take your life savings and run

Absolutely not. He should wait until the house is sold! Unless she gets a charge/lien over the new house for non payment of the loan

are you crazy??

that man is no partner

how are women settling for this shite and even worse having kids with men who don’t even pretend to be anything other than selfish

hd makes it clear he does not care about you yet you have cracked on…

This!

He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after
A decent man would want to prove to her that everything was signed, sealed and legal, that they child they had together would be treated fairly.

Instead he appears to see himself as the lord & master by whom the scullery girl 'got herself pregnant'.
Now she has to accept that this child will not be fully acknowledged, the first family will always be the favorites. I guess her boy is tainted by association with her lower economic status?

While this is obviously something you are concerned about. Your mum is an adult and is capable of her decisions. Could you have a private chat with her?

Obviously, she'd be an idiotic doormat to do this. I despair of women who just let men stamp all over them.

He sounds like a thief.

She needs to give her head a massive wobble and talk to a solicitor.

Absolutely not. Please stop your mum from doing this. She's effectively passing over your inheritance to his children. 100% no from me. If she does it, it will not end well.

Absolutely not it’s a very big risk for her with very little in the way of benefit for her.

@Jennyisabel
And he has adult kids? So he’s how old?

Listen, I’m sorry, but I think you’re more like his servant with benefits.

How can you be sure that your child will get anything in the will? One wrong move from you and out comes the boot.

Then he’ll find a new live-in servant. Probably younger and less likely to disobey orders.

To hell with the inheritance, she’s giving her independence away. She’d be totally fucked if he got tired of her.

No of he doesn't trust her.enough to put her on the deeds or share finances etc.then he can get.a bridging loan.

The fact that she hasn’t dismissed this would worry the hell out of me if she was my mother and make me wonder about what else may be going on behind closed doors.

If she has a spare few hours, ask her to delve into this talk board and she can read threads by countless women who’ve been financially fucked over by their partners because of “love”.

She should absolutely not lend him this money. He is keeping his money safe and she needs to do the same.

NO

Not only "NO" but "HELL NO"! She will have zero protection if he decides to screw her over. Money can make normally nice people drip with greed.

She could lose everything while he gains everything. All downside for her, NO downside for him.

ETA: I had only read OPs posts, but I just wanted to say that I am just echoing everyone else's warnings and agreeing 100% with them.

You should take your son YOUR inheritance and go make a life for the two of you. Sure, you might lose some fancier digs and "signs" of wealth, but it's never been yours.
Let your "worth money" but "worthless in morals" partner sit alone and count his money.

@Jennyisabel
Your situation and question would be best served by posting your own thread so that any answers are specific for you.

Although to put in my twopenneth - I certainly would not be lending the man a single penny and would be getting back to work asap with a view to leaving, setting up my own household, after putting in a CMS claim. The position he has put you in is unforgiveable.

@Jennyisabel press the report button on your own post and in the report ask MNHQ to move it to Relationships as a new thread. You should then also post to explain if your partner has any other family who might make a claim on his estate should he die.

You're in a very vulnerable position like the OP's mother here, but you know that already.

It’s written from OP’s mum’s viewpoint! It belongs on this thread.

Nooooooo!!

@Blossomtoes oh, well as the facts have been changed it seems fair enough to assume it's a new post.

It's a lot of extra faff but she could buy the current house from him so he the will have the cash to buy the new place. She then becomes the seller of the current place. It may take some time to sell but at least she owns that asset in the meantime.