Mums partner 6 yrs want's her to lend him all her life saving for a loan to buy larger house she won't be on deed for.

[Moniworries]

I'm worried even though on paper it's a short term loan to enable him to buy a house now until the current one is sold.

She's worried but she also trusts him.
They have been together for 6 years and to be fair he's a nice guy, he's got two adult DC and mum has two as well. They share one DC my brother

She lives in his house now but it's quite small he wants to buy a slightly larger house for family to visit and he will be a grandfather soon

They live quite rurally so harder for family to visit.

I'm concerned because he won't marry her he said it's too complicated with his adult children and also work shares and a family trust,he won't put her on the deeds.
He's never shared a Will even but has said brother will be looked after .

Mums put up with this because she's still got her divorce money ring fenced in case of problems which is about 250. That's her fail safe and she's been comfortable with her situation living in a nicer house than she could afford with that money for her should something happen

Technically he would be borrowing this money only on a short loan but she's worried as am I,what if something random happens to him in that time?

How could she get it back and what if it gets lost in complicated trusts?

Nooooooo, no no no. Absolutely not.

I haven't even seen mention of a solicitor to help her protect that loan.

Just no 👎🏾.

This is a CON/scam, sorry but there is not way you can trust this man. You can never really trust anyone. Don’t do it.

Woman = property
➡️ all her money also belongs to me.
Men often seem to have this mindset.

Agree, she would likely end up homeless and never see a penny of it again.

Everyone above has sussed it.

This guy is not willing to offer your mum the protection of marriage, which he could do whilst still protecting his DC, or even of putting her on the deeds. Why on Earth should she do this? The arrangement would be so one sided as to be undignified.

If you cannot make her see reason, perhaps a counsellor or solicitor can.

I would be so put off by this request that I might break off the relationship.

If it's too complicated to marry her, it's definitely too complicated to drain her life savings on a verbal agreement

I’m a solicitor. There are commercial bridging loans he could get, albeit often at high interest rates, but as he treats finances as separate your mum needs to think about this as a commercial transaction, i.e. risk and upside. He needs to pay interest, give her a charge over both properties and pay her legal fees. She needs to think about what happens if something goes wrong and the first house can’t be sold, how does she get her money back then, what if the relationship ends or something happens to him, where will she live ne how will she fund her lifestyle?

Much easier for him to get in touch with a decent broker to find a commercial loan, or remortgage the existing house to pull out the equity for the new purchase then deal with it afterwards, may cost him a bit more, but as PP said this puts all the risk on her with absolutely no safeguards. She would be mad to do it.

Isn’t this what bridging loans are for?
She absolutely should not do this. How does he even know she has this money if she’s not allowed to know his financial situation?
It’s all fine and well not sharing money, but they have 6yrs and a child together and he doesn’t even discuss the financial situation with her?
If he doesn’t trust her then he’s not trustworthy. If he feels such a high need to protect himself then he’s needs protected from. Judge people by their own standards.

No, no, no and a hell no. Absolutely not. How on earth can he think it’s okay to protect his children’s inheritance by not marrying her or putting her on the deeds (fine if they’re both happy with that) but not to protect herself and her own children by putting her money at risk.
If she did it it should be strictly done legally with a solicitor drawing up paperwork saying it’s a loan and when it needs to be repaid by, but even then I don’t know how secure that would be. He just should wait and buy a new house when he’s able to. Way too risky on your mums part, no matter how much she trusts him. That’s a huge huge amount to trust anyone with.

The only way your mother would have any security is if the money is protected by a legal charge on the property - assuming there is no other lender who has priority over her loan.

There are lots of ways otherwise that this could go wrong even if the partner doesn’t necessarily intend that. First off, he could die and then if the loan is not a secured debt it will be hard to get it back. Or he could suffer a horrible illness/injury and “just” need a bit more of the money for a bit longer……. Or something similar could happen to one of his wider family and she’s pressured to hold back with the return of her money til that person is helped etc etc.

No no no

Christ no!! No way she should ever do this.

Your Mum's partner won't marry her, because it's 'too complicated with his adult children', yet has asked her to loan him her life savings???!!! A big fat No. She's good enough to borrow money from but not good enough to marry. Bloody cheek quite frankly.

More red flags than a Beijing parade…

Also, the fact you have to say "but he's a really nice guy" tells you how bad this deal is

Fuck no! She’d be absolutely crackers to do this!

And tbh, if he truly had her best interests at heart he wouldn’t even ask or put her in that position

OP please update us saying this isn’t happening! I feel so bad for your mum, this is the most manipulative person and he needs out of her life

If she wants to do this, surely it has to be documented as a registered charge on the old house, so that the on its sale, the the funds are released to her by the solicitor as part of the completion. She would still be exposed if he changed his mind about selling the house and in that situation would be reliant on him paying back st the end of the loan term or otherwise having to ennfirxe the charge, which seems unlikely to do

@GU24Mum this is my worry also he may not intend any issues to happen but life throws up all sorts of random stuff.

If it was 5k and she would benefit from the arrangement and could afford to lose it then fair enough. If it’s £250k no way and don’t trust him.

I was the fool who did this 35 years ago, in eerily similar circumstances. I lost my money.

Suggest you see a solicitor and get something proper in writing.

NO

House sale chains fall through all the time - its annoying and stressful but that's life. If he misses out on the house he wants, so be it. There'll be other stuff come on the market soon enough. He shouldn't pass this stress on your Mum, expecting her to come and save him because she has the means to, and not even put her on the deeds! Was there any mention of paying her interest? I doubt it.

Fuck that. He can get a bridging loan or go back to house hunting.

This. Worst case scenarios do happen. He buys house with her money, drops dead from a heart attack, house is inherited by his children.
Absolutely crazy to do this, and if he is too stupid to see the risks to her, or too lacking in love to want to protect her interests, then he is not at all as “nice” as he seems !

Let him get a bank loan, like anyone else. Its a shame he knows about her finances.