To be disappointed by weekends

[TellMeWhyIHateSundays]

Every week I look forward to the weekend - yet everytime it’s a disappointment. I have a busy job (NHS doctor) so not much time to do anything in the week. Due to my early starts I’m still awake and up by 7am most weekends. The rest of the family (DP and DD15) are still asleep and prob won’t surface tlll gone 10. Im already bored. DP is a light sleeper so I can’t do anything that makes noise incase I disturb them.
By the time they’ve woken and sorted themselves it’s nearly noon. Then we have to do all the jobs that can’t be done whilst DP is asleep. I’d happily leave them till the evening and enjoy the day - but DP is insistent they must be done first. By this time it’s too late to make the most of the nice weather. I can’t even go out for a walk or activity whilst they’re asleep as getting ready, using the en-suite etc is too noisy.

Tgats the other thing. We both have busy lives and my way to relax is to get out and enjoy fresh air. But DP’s is to watch Tv. I don’t even really like much TV and especially not when it’s sunny outside! But DP is very keen that we do things together. So I end up sat on the sofa watching repeats of a box set I didn’t enjoy first time.

So Sunday comes round and I feel frustrated again I’ve wasted the weekend when there’s lots of things (simple things like going for a walk) that I wish I’d done.

Ive started volunteering for extra weekend shifts at work because it’s more interesting than staying at home

AIBU to want more from a weekend?

Just make your own plans. We all go our own ways on Saturday mornings - different hobbies, Saturday jobs, pottering round the house. With teenagers, they generally want to do their own thing at the weekend which also involves a certain amount of ferrying them around from us. DH and I do some things together, or not as the mood takes us. No pressure, no resentment either way. Structure your own weekend to your own liking. You can watch something with your DH in the evening if you want to, if not do something else. If that causes issues, time to start examining the relationship.

What are 'boxsets' I see mentioned on here often? Is it a collection of DVDs?

Sorry I agree. You are being unreasonable to not get up yourself and do what you want. Have a backbone. Why is your husband getting the whole weekend his way and you are left to feel bored. TELL him I am going out for a walk / coffee / lunch you are welcome to come along. If he doesn’t and then doesn’t get to spend time with you that was his decision.

Sounds like she needs to put on her big girl pants and make her own coffee and breakfast and figure out how to entertain herself in the morning for an hour.

I can't imagine a scenario where my partner would not be able to go to the gym because he has to make my cuppa.

They're just a TV series on DVD.

Okay, taking all of your posts at face value.

Your partner needs to get a grip and you need to start doing things you want to do on a weekend.

It’s that simple 🤷🏼‍♀️

Echoing others here with the idea you should just be getting dressed and going out if that’s what you want to do.

I wouldn’t be tip toeing around for hours and hours so I could then watch TV I’m not interested in. What are you afraid your DP will say if you insist on using your own bathroom and opening your drawers or whatever to get dressed?

It’s easy to say she’s not happy about being woken up, but you’re not happy about having to hang around all day so why does her desire to sleep in trump your desire to get things done on your only day(s) off? Maybe she could get some ear plugs so your getting dressed noise doesn’t wake her.

OP is a man.
Partner is a woman.

People use the word box sets to mean binge watching a show from a streaming service. They don't have to be physical DVD's anymore.

You really need to stop pandering to her. You deserve a life too. As others have said organize your clothes night before, jeans, T shirt, jumper. Use the main bathroom and tell your wife you'll be back at 10.00 if you want to reduce the angst you'll get.
My dh used to be a lot like that he hates being alone and if I go anywhere, usually one of our sons as he needs extra support, it's always "what time will you be back, will you be long?" and I used to stress about getting back and one day I asked myself what the hell am I doing putting up with this. So now I just give him an approx time and ring if I'm going to be longer because he worries and he has got less bothered by it. He still doesn't like being alone so god knows what he'll do if I die first.

Well if you won't help yourself, not sure why you posted here!! It's what my DH does, if he has to/wants to go out early. He rises early and I'm a night owl. Works fine for us.

OP, you’re being pathetic. HTH.

Just get up and go. I run on a Sunday at 8am. I put my clothes in the bathroom the night before then I’m up and out. Get home around 10 whey H is pottering around, when the kid was at home he’d be surfacing. Still time for family stuff but I’ve had fun in the fresh air with friends.

interesting everyone assumed this was a man being difficult!

OP - my thoughts are no different. She is being ridiculous and you are too. Just do whatever you want. She does what she wants. Your daughter isn’t going to hang out with her parents much anyway so no reason to wait around for her. And definitely no reason to sit silently in the house so you can bring your partner a coffee! Lovely as a treat but it sounds like it’s a chore now.

My suggestion is do the housework chores on Sunday (DP will have to readjust) -- reorganise so that Saturday afternoon is put aside for family time outside the house. You can all watch TV in the evening.

I'd tell him to get up and stop being a lazy chap, being out and about is hugely important, just finding different places, go for a walk or take a different route and see what you find? I am often up at 5 and if the weather is nice will go out and enjoy the peacefulness.

You are a family as well as individuals, him sat, farting, watching the TV all weekend is not healthy, not setting a good example, get everyone up early one weekend and go out for a nice breakfast followed by a silly activity.

Genuinely, if you can afford it, get a cleaner. It's life changing

It sounds like you both work hard and hopefully earn a decent salary. It also sounds like you really resent the time you have to dedicate to these necessary tasks when you are time poor already.

Then you can just plan nice stuff at the weekends

It's a HER.

Do read all by OP- he is male, DP is female.

I voted yabu because I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing. My dh is a shift worker and early rider whilst me and dc sleep in. He gets up throws a tracksuit on , takes dog out for a walk, stops at a cafe, brings back fresh bread and then has a coffee and watches tv, plays with his hobbit bits. You don’t have to creep around and it’s unreasonable for anyone to expect you to. Just don’t do the hoovering or DIY

Haven’t rtft. But I. Our house any activities on a weekend before 8am are quiet.

after that you can’t get mad if you’re woken up.

With all due respect @TellMeWhyIHateSundays you are being a little silly not sorting this out!!
All the people I know, who work full time and have older children so don’t need immediate childcare, go out on Sat morning and pursue a hobby. Either golf, cycling, yoga classes, long walk in a different place, Pilates as they need to decompress in a different place and transition between work and home.
They then meet for a late lunch or go shopping and do a family activity.
Try getting a regular online food shop on a Friday night for the week ahead; try also getting a cleaner on a Friday in the day who has access to the key and a list of tasks so the house is nice for the weekend.
DEFINITELY get out early on Sat and pursue your own hobby for you. It’s important for your own health.

Park run, gym, swim - husband gets ear plugs, you pack your gym bag the night before and lay out your kit ready. Bigger problem imo is why you are letting your husband control your time.

The word you are looking for is compromise but i sense you have some deeper issues than that and would suggest you get some couples therapy. You obviously not being allowed to do things you want and that is quite controlling of your DP. If you feel that you cannot discuss this as adults by yourself then get some help.

I know what it’s like to get bored with a partner who prioritises sleep over doing stuff. But i just get on with my life. He wants to sleep and/or relax doing nothing when home (tbf he works very hard and very long hours), and i don’t. So i don’t! And you don’t Have to be available to make the coffee by the way-she can do that herself if you’re out. Presumably she manages in the week; yes it’s a nice thing to do occasionally but shouldn’t be an expectation.

Sorry - your wife gets ear plugs and bigger problem is why your wife controls your time.

This. Just get up and go out when you wake up. Go for a nice coffee alone. Join a yoga class. There is much so could have done before they are even awake..its your weekend. Do what u want.