DH and MIL go ahead without me?

[oliviad1986]

Try to keep brief:

DH birthday on Sunday. New steak place opened up near us a few months ago and we said MIL would enjoy as she likes steak, none of us have yet been but I would love to go too, quite fancy place. Anyway we arranged for 3 of us to go out to celebrate birthday Saturday eve with my sister babysitting. MIL said it would be her treat. Sister can no longer babysit and MIL said that she and DH could still go.

i don’t know why but i feel like a bit annoyed. It’s somewhere we wouldn’t go to often and could rearrange when my sister could do but then again I also feel like maybe I ABU and should just say two of them to go?

Same

And they invited the mum! If I was invited to a meal and the hosts babysitter bailed, I’d be pretty pissed if they expected me to babysit so they could go to the meal themselves. 🙄

The more appropriate thing to me would be MIL looking after your child/children and you and your husband going out for his birthday. I find it very odd that they would celebrate together rather than you two as a couple.

I can't stand my Dh but neither of us would leave the other one at home on our birthdays. Make sure that you return the favour on your own birthday.

I think either my mum or my husband's mum would offer to babysit so we could go out (if we had kids), and if I were joining a couple to celebrate one of their birthdays and their babysitter fell through I'd offer to babysit for them. Your primary celebration as an adult in a committed relationship is surely with your partner, not your parent?!

That said, I wouldn't take issue with my husband choosing to still go for dinner with his mum either, I'd just book to go again.

I was just going to say the same

If you still expect MIL to pay as her treat then it’s ok for her to choose to go as her present to her son. If you or DH paying then you two go.

Yeah my DM (and MIL) would have babysat so we could go out. It’s weird she didn’t suggest that

And the mil was planning on paying for the meal as a birthday treat. Once she was invited, she decided to make it into a gift to him.

If they had never have invited mil, and the babysitter cancelled, I would suggest to my oh on his birthday that he go out with someone else while I stay with the kids and us go out another time. I know they could get takeaway but going out for a meal feels more special for the birthday and unlike a lot of people on this thread, I dont think that person has to be the spouse.

Thanks everyone. Just to be clear I didn’t want to go alone with DH as we would all enjoy this place. DH suggested we go again next month when my parents can babysit.

@Whaleandsnail6 OP has confirmed that they don’t get out much together since baby was born, so actually going somewhere special would be nice if could go with spouse