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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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9
Septembiosis · 06/06/2025 17:18

Unpopular opinion (apparently), but I think that if your job is to serve food in a restaurant, you should do just that, regardless of what you think about the people at the table (obviously assuming they're not being rude or threatening). You don't have to be your customer's friend, but you should do your job, like anyone else has to do.

whattodoes · 06/06/2025 17:18

Everyone is jubilant now because they dislike him but next time what if it someone you like/agree with politically that is publicly being thrown out?

I feel the same

Yruu · 06/06/2025 17:19

I’m not sure how I feel about this.

My concern is that it is a slippery slope into ‘banning’ or ‘refusing’ anyone you disagree with. It reminds me of Nigel Farage being refused banking because of his political views.

It feels like an infringement on free speech. But then they are private businesses who can serve or refuse whoever they want. I’m conflicted.

neverbeenskiing · 06/06/2025 17:22

People saying it's "a slippery slope", restaurants have always had the right to refuse service to whoever they want for any reason (unless they're discriminating against someone for having a protected characteristic) so this changes nothing.

BeachPebbleWave · 06/06/2025 17:22

EmmaWotsit · 06/06/2025 17:15

If he wasn't misbehaving in the restaurant then the staff should have let him and his companions eat their meal.

Why? I’d be concerned he’d use my venue as a background for a social post or video that might give the impression the company supported his views.

PoppyTries · 06/06/2025 17:22

BobbyBiscuits · 06/06/2025 16:59

I'm delighted he was kicked out of one of the best steak restaurants in London. They have several branches so hope it's a blanket ban.

No decent restaurant or establishment should knowingly serve him. If word got out their reputation among the majority who are normal non-racists would be damaged.

I would rather stab myself in the eye with a spork and eat instant ramen forever than sit near that scumbag while I eat my very expensive dinner.

Maybe he should eat in a greasy spoon cafeteria in wherever they have a majority Reform government?

I am a firm believer in Making Racists Uncomfortable and Unwelcome. Well done Hawksmoor!

Darragon · 06/06/2025 17:22

No I don't think it's ok to throw out people trying to go about their lives just because they have opinions you don't agree with. Should outspoken GC feminists, or animal rights activists, or former employees of the Communist Party also be subjected to this sort of treatment? I just can't get behind this sort of mentality at all.

RedHornseaTeapot · 06/06/2025 17:23

I get that it’s a private business and they can choose to serve or not serve anyone they like but I’m not really on board with the concept of refusing service because you don’t like the opinions someone holds or maybe in this case that you object to his criminal convictions.
If it were the other way round and a far right business owner refused service to a social justice activist would that be ok?

Coffeeishot · 06/06/2025 17:23

Bananalanacake · 06/06/2025 16:53

I thought he was in prison!

Released last week or maybe the week before. I'm sure I read he's up in court soon though.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 06/06/2025 17:24

whattodoes · 06/06/2025 17:17

You think the staff should be forced to serve him?

Shouldn't staff serve all patrons unless they were behaving badly? Or are we saying criminals released from jail should expect to not be served?

He's a far right activist and they obviously didn't feel comfortable serving him. Perhaps some of them were from ethnic minorites or had differing principles. I wouldn't serve the prick either.

KurtShirty · 06/06/2025 17:24

I get the slippery slope dilemma, but at the same time as somebody who is self-employed, I choose who I work for, and when I engage self employed people to work for me, they are also free to turn down a job if it doesn’t align with their moral values.

I actually think this is a freedom that ought to be extended to those in employment roles. It is not that the restaurant decided they would not serve him, it was the staff who said they felt uncomfortable. l think it’s good they have this option

because there’s another slippery slope, imagine being forced to serve a paedophile, if you were the victim of child sexual abuse for example..

Sobblimminwindy · 06/06/2025 17:25

Now retired but when I was working there were many occasions I had to provide care for people who, in different circumstances I wouldn't have peed on if they were on fire. But I still did. Because that was my job. Everybody seems be offended or triggered by anything now. It's utterly ridiculous.

Lolapusht · 06/06/2025 17:26

Where’s the line, though?

Tony Robinson?
Posie Parker?
Nigel Farage?
Kemi Badenoch?
Peter Tatchell?
Jews?
Muslims?

KurtShirty · 06/06/2025 17:27

Lolapusht · 06/06/2025 17:26

Where’s the line, though?

Tony Robinson?
Posie Parker?
Nigel Farage?
Kemi Badenoch?
Peter Tatchell?
Jews?
Muslims?

I guess this is why we have protected characteristics? To give us a line.

MerlinsBeard1 · 06/06/2025 17:27

Darragon · 06/06/2025 17:22

No I don't think it's ok to throw out people trying to go about their lives just because they have opinions you don't agree with. Should outspoken GC feminists, or animal rights activists, or former employees of the Communist Party also be subjected to this sort of treatment? I just can't get behind this sort of mentality at all.

Agreed. It's all peachy when it's someone you don't like not so peachy when you're next. It reminds me of the 'First They Came' poem.

MiloMinderbinder925 · 06/06/2025 17:27

Lolapusht · 06/06/2025 17:26

Where’s the line, though?

Tony Robinson?
Posie Parker?
Nigel Farage?
Kemi Badenoch?
Peter Tatchell?
Jews?
Muslims?

What's Tony Robinson done?

user101101 · 06/06/2025 17:28

It’s not whether it’s a protected characteristic or not. I understand the want not to serve him but i don’t want to live in a police state either. So everyone’s going to look up everyone else’s opinions before serving them in a restaurant to see if they agree with them or not based on whatever they find on the internet. In the age of AI it’s not impossible

cariadlet · 06/06/2025 17:28

I don't think you should refuse to serve someone because you dislike their views.

I don't like Tommy Robinson. I don't like his political beliefs. I think he's a grifter and a crook. But I also think he should be able to eat in any restaurant where he can afford to pay the bill.

I get angry when FiLiA or WPUK have struggled to find venues to host them. Ditto GC comics having their gigs cancelled or GC writers being hounded out of their careers.

If it's wrong when it happens to people that I like and with whom I agree, it's also wrong when it happens to people I dislike and with whom I disagree.

lnks · 06/06/2025 17:28

I used to think like you OP. But then the tables were turned.

Women were labelled as bigots and Nazis and refused service, had events banned, were forced out of their jobs, all because our ideas were considered offensive and transphobic (which they aren’t).

So whilst I think TR is an appalling man, I don’t think he should be thrown out of a restaurant for his views.

ByCyanMoose · 06/06/2025 17:29

MrsMitford3 · 06/06/2025 17:17

I am donning my tin hat here.
I am not a fan of his politics at all but where do we draw the line?
Who decides?
It makes me very uncomfortable.
Is it ok for restaurants to refuse women wearing "Adult human female" shirts?
Or ppl with different coloured skin?
Different religious beliefs?
Ppl with keffiyehs on?
Gay people?
Ppl in burkas?
A women only event?

I assume everyone will come on to say it's not the same but I feel like the pitchforks will be next.

Everyone is jubilant now because they dislike him but next time what if it someone you like/agree with politically that is publicly being thrown out?

I think the ability to disagree and respect others opinions is lost and imho that is not a good thing for society.

Individual business owners draw the line, and I see no problem with that. He has a right to whatever odious opinions he may hold. He does not have a right to be served by decent people.

sandrafarringdon66 · 06/06/2025 17:30

They don't want to be associated with this thug, their steakhouse their rules. I don't think it's going to be a problem for them to have the extreme right wing to boycott their place.

neverbeenskiing · 06/06/2025 17:30

TopographicalTime · 06/06/2025 16:57

Is it legal to refuse service because you don't like someone's political views?

Racism is not a legitimate political viewpoint.
It shouldn't be something that people tolerate or 'agree to disagree' on. It should be considered totally and utterly unacceptable in every situation or context.

MonTuesWeds · 06/06/2025 17:30

MiloMinderbinder925 · 06/06/2025 17:13

You think the staff should be forced to serve him?

Do I get to opt out of serving militant trans rights activists?

lnks · 06/06/2025 17:30

Just to add, freedom of speech is one of the most crucial parts of a democracy. If you really believe in these principles, you have to accept that you will hear views that you find offensive.

MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble · 06/06/2025 17:30

sidebirds · 06/06/2025 17:17

  1. Chap on the left of OP's photo/article (also kicked out) is Indian-British

  2. The media did a good job smearing him. I once vaguely thought the same until I investigated these "objectionable" views. His speech at the Oxford Students Union is a good place to start. I might add that as with his non-white friend in the photo, I am a 'person of colour' myself 🧐

The suggestion being that you have to be white to be racist?

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