Children drowning on holiday.

[Nextdoormat]

Another week where in the news a poor toddler (2) has drowned on holiday. Devastating for parents. I am not casting blame or being goady, but how can we make it clearer that someone needs to watch a child 100% of the time if near water.
As a single parent I did take my kids on holiday where there were pools but they always had arm bands on when they couldn't swim properly and I never took my eyes off them, so no reading a book, snoozing, chatting and being distracted.
Perhaps it was easier when I had sole responsibility. Once my DS2 at the time aged 4 was just walking by the pool and another kid just pushed him in at the deep end. I jumped in fully clothed with sunglasses on and pulled him out, if I wasn't watching I could have been that parent grieving.
My heart goes out to the parents, what was supposed to be a holiday making memories turned on it's head.

Terrifying how many people on this thread alone have had a close call or worse.

Swimsuit colour definitely matters and doesn't necessarily translate as you think it would....

Children should always be watched, I agree, however arm bands can also give a false sense of security.

I think weird and creepy is good! Look how many of us still remember those videos - this kind of creepiness is the sort of thing that sticks in people's head. If it engages children's imagination they are far more likely to keep the message in mind - make things too twee and cute and they just think 'I'll never be that silly'. Scare the pants off them and they might think twice (only works on older children, obviously, and parents. Small children won't even watch).

I remember years ago a group of drs 2 families went on holiday a private villa with pool. Mother of toddler asked other families mother to look after her little toddler while she went to get them all more drinks. When she came back her toddler had drowned. She forgave the other family. I wouldn’t have.

Our DD was pulled out of a hotel pool by a livid woman who gave us a good talking to (she was right). DD had had weekly swimming lessons but wasn't totally confident swimmer. It was 1st day of hols and I had walked around the hotel pool checking the depth markers all the way round and according to them she could easily stand in all of the pool. She was splashing and playing and I could see her. I saw her jumping up and down and I thought she was playing. The woman pulled her out, brought her to me and said she was drowning. It turned out the pool went deeper in the middle but wasn't marked accordingly.
I didn't understand until I read up on drowning, how it works and what it looks like. The guilt and shame was and still is enormous. I can't believe how close she was to drowning and that I was watching her thinking she was OK. It was many years ago now and I am so ashamed.

Drowning can happen so quickly and in the blink of an eye.

When my son was about 4 I had him in the baby pool in his rubber ring thing. There were dividers between the baby pool and big pool that you couldnt really fit through (I thought). He could swim at that age (was a competitive swimmer by age 6.5).

I got out and took my baby off my husband but sat on the edge of the baby pool holding baby and dangling my feet into the baby pool while talking to DS.

I then walked away from the baby pool with baby to get a towel (literally turned my back for a few seconds) and when I turned round, DS was through the barriers and into the big pool floating about on his rubber ring. I must have taken my eyes off him for less than 10 or 20 seconds. I shouted at him to go back to the shallow area but he was laughing and giggling and then suddenly he had slipped through his rubber ring and even though he could swim, he was.clearly drowning. Thrashing around in the water.
I put baby down away from the pool and jumped in and pulled him out. He was fine. No harm done.

However, the speed it all happened. From turning my back, to turning back round, to jumping in and pulling him out. All within just seconds.

Things happen fast. Kids drown fast

Exactly.

All these holier than thou PPs…. I never let my child out of my sight blah blah blah.

The only way to 100% guarantee your child could never drown is to never, ever be in the vicinity of a body of water.

Everything else, such as having your child know how to tread water or lay on their back, or having a 1-2-1 child/adult ratio, or always holding their hand, or always being in the water with them etc etc just reduces the risk. It doesn’t eliminate it.

All these holier than thou PPs…. I never let my child out of my sight blah blah blah.

A large proportion of the thread is describing how people don't let the child out of their sight and they still managed to get into difficulty. That's the opposite of being 'holier than thou', that's admitting that watching them to the extent that there is no risk is impossible - exactly the point you are making.

I’m not referring to those PPs, obviously. They are not holier than thou.

There are plenty of PPs who are saying they haven’t had this happen to them because of all their precautions. Almost preaching about how they would never let their child in the water without them. It is naive at best and judgemental at worst.

That’s a really useful graphic I’ve never seen before.

Hot pink swimming costumes for the family holiday this year!

This. Accidents happen. Sometimes no-one is to blame. That’s hard for a lot of people many of whom seem to need to start threads like this so they can reassure themselves that it will never happen to them by blaming someone for not being careful enough or for making a mistake. It’s incredibly unfair and insensitive of the poor people who are suffering the most at the time, like these parents, securely as (regardless of fault) they will probably be blaming themselves anyway as is human nature in these instances).

it’s also worth remembering that being increasingly risk averse has its own risks and harms, and we should be cautious of being over cautious.

It only takes seconds I wouldn't judge

I am absolutely terrified of my kids drowning. In lockdown we had a blow up hot tub which my daughter loved. We only had it half filled and she had a life vest on. We constantly watched her. Mil visited one day and said we should take the vest off. I said absolutely no way. She won't be another victim of drowning. She obviously thought I was being ott but I didn't care.

Human beings are not good at weighing risks, even when they know the facts. We often take our cue about risk from what others do, and we are especially poor at weighing risks if we have competing concerns.

I do an "ice breaker" in cyber security sessions, asking people to give what is basically very common password data over. Everyone does it!

Some even say they weren't certain about doing it, but went along!

DS was never in a pool or the sea without me or OH in with him up to the age of about 12!!! He was a good swimmer, probably better than us, as he'd started lessons before he started primary school, but we weren't taking any risks.

It never ceases to amaze me how parents just sit and chill on the poolside/beach, reading books, etc., completely oblivious to what their children are doing.

On the "Place in the sun" program, parents/grandparents often say something like the pool is handy and you could see the kids from your 3rd floor balcony! What use is that? By the time you've noticed they're in difficulty, you have to go down the corridors, down the stairs, and out to the pool, by which time it's too late.

Far too many people just don't have any concept of risk and how to manage it.

I see women do the same risky things many times every day! They’re stuck to their phones, babbling gossip that could wait till they’re home, toddler wandering way behind them or running in front of them. There’s no way they’d be able to be aware of and stop that child from running into the road, be bitten by a dog or abducted. It makes me mad that they’re so stupid as to risk the lives of their children in this way!

This week is Drowning Prevention Week (14-21 June 2025) and there are some free resources for parents / classrooms from the Royal Life Saving Society UK https://www.rlss.org.uk/pages/category/drowning-prevention-week-campaign.

There's also a colouring-in competition (to win one of 100 limited edition pin badges) for children 13 and under, competition closes 30 June 2025 https://www.rlss.org.uk/colouring-competition

Jo

Thank you for sharing this. It is horrendous for you, but important people realise how easy it is for a child to drown. You shouldn't feel guilty, but we should all learn from it. My step father pulled a boy out of the swimming pool in similar circumstances whilst on holiday and he said the mother was quite off with him about it! Assume you were not like that at all, and you had tried to be careful. As parent I think we all have one but for the grace of god story.

We say EXACTLY the same when watching A Place in the sun and they come out with the 'you can see the grandkids/kids playing in the pool' from some 3rd fllor balcony or whatever. I always say "The ONLY place to be in your children/grandchildren are playing in a pool is RIGHT beside them!"

I remember being at a havan holiday park,8 months pregnant (and let's face it-i was the size of a blue whale) and I turned my back for a second (I was dumping some bags on a chair)
Ds (then aged about 8) came up behind me and slipped in (fully clothed)
Thankfully the lifeguard just came out of nowhere,before I had a chance to see what was going on and got him out
I'd made sure all my dc where good swimmers but he panicked and froze
(I was that mother who wouldn't let them near water without aids and me standing almost on top of them)
Floods of tears from us both but he was fine

Most heart-stopping moment of my life-a second,that's all it took

To post again on this thread, I recently watched my 7yo son beginning to drown without realising what was happening. The lifeguard did and came over and intervened, and I grabbed my son and moved him to the side of the pool (I was within a couple of metres of him at all times). I honestly hadn't realised he was in trouble. It sounds really stupid, but he had been messing about and diving for sinkers, and I assumed that was what he was still doing. There was no yelling or shouting (no noise at all really) but he told me afterwards that he'd been in trouble and struggling. I assume I would have noticed at the moment he went under the water, but maybe not as that's what he'd been doing the whole time we'd been in the pool. I was quite shaken up as I consider myself an anxious and cautious parent when it comes to pools and water.

Another awful tragedy in Spain - two British children (11 and 13) drown
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2025/jul/30/two-british-brothers-11-and-13-drown-off-beach-in-spain

"A British brother and sister, aged 11 and 13, have drowned after getting into difficulties while swimming at Salou, a popular Mediterranean resort in north-eastern Spain. Their father, who ran into the sea to rescue them, survived."

Putting drowning prevention into Google or your preferred search engine will bring up loads of resources but I think it's helpful also to be aware that drowning is often a very quiet and calm thing and not at all how it's portrayed (splashing / yelling) in films. If you or your children are going to be near water please read "Drowning doesn't look like drowning".

This article (Guardian Australia 2023) is also a good read "Australia’s drowning crisis: why rescuers often perish trying to save family members" - the advice is obviously to call for help first but if attempting a rescue to take something (anything, even an empty 2L bottle or anything with air in) that will act as a flotation device.

Safe holidays :)
Jo

Sorry but this thread sits really badly with me and is goady and victim blaming. Accidents can and do happen every day and no one knows the circumstances of any of these tragedies. Many people keep mentioning alcohol as if thats to blane aswell without knowing anything.
imagine if you were a grieving parent reading this.

It’s not just pools. I’m on a cruise currently, it’s not a family friendly ship but the line does allow children and there are more of them on board this cruise than is usual. We were standing on the wharf waiting to go on an excursion. I heard shouts, there was a little girl running full tilt towards the gap between the edge of the wharf and the ship. Her father only just got to her in time and at the same time as a crew member. I shudder to think what could have happened.

If I were a grieving parent, the worst would have already have happened, and I'd know how much I was responsible and already be guilty.

But there are plenty of living children who are alive because threads like this share helpful information - like swimsuit colours.

You can't prevent every risk, but increased awareness helps.