Children drowning on holiday.

[Nextdoormat]

Another week where in the news a poor toddler (2) has drowned on holiday. Devastating for parents. I am not casting blame or being goady, but how can we make it clearer that someone needs to watch a child 100% of the time if near water.
As a single parent I did take my kids on holiday where there were pools but they always had arm bands on when they couldn't swim properly and I never took my eyes off them, so no reading a book, snoozing, chatting and being distracted.
Perhaps it was easier when I had sole responsibility. Once my DS2 at the time aged 4 was just walking by the pool and another kid just pushed him in at the deep end. I jumped in fully clothed with sunglasses on and pulled him out, if I wasn't watching I could have been that parent grieving.
My heart goes out to the parents, what was supposed to be a holiday making memories turned on it's head.

And it doesn’t even have to be a large group: in an unfamiliar holiday villa it just takes dad being with the kid in the kitchen whilst he’s cooking, then they run a few rooms away to the living room where their mum last was and where he thinks she still is; except she’s nipped to the loo, and the kid manages to open the patio doors and run out to the pool. When mum gets back she thinks kid is still in the kitchen; dad thinks kid is with her.

I’m amazed he was fine. Gosh how horrid.

Nothing worse than the people who piggy back on someone else’s tragedy to go on about how much of a better parent they are. Talk about tone deaf.

Surely most classes, where the children can't swim, have a parent accompanying them?

Not to derail, but he pleaded guilty, and if you watch the released CCTV footage from inside the room (it’s on YouTube) he leans out of the window himself for a while, then lifts her up and over the barrier so she’s basically out of the window, and holds her there for a good while before she falls. Yes the windows were angled but it’s incredibly difficult to believe that he thought there was glass there when you see it. You’re right he didn’t go to prison though - he was sentenced to community service.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not exactly a safe set up with windows that open at roughly adult waist height so I can understand the family pursuing the cruise line, but he was certainly negligent, just in a different way to parents/carers that take their eyes off children in water (which is a separate, but huge concern).

As a lifeguard in a past life, complacency of some people with their children around water is really quite horrifying.

It's such a horrible thing and the parents must be devastated. When I was little in the 90s we used to just go to the local lake and swim all day, every day and there were no adults present. Just a bunch of local kids messing about. I do remember us having to do a two week swimming course at the beginning of the summer and pretty much all of us learned to swim then, but still there should have been someone supervising. One of the kids in my group did drown one summer and it was traumatic to the whole community. He was little and tried to keep up with the big boys, and he had a medical episode while in the water and drowned. It was awful. There were no adults around at all.

I had to jump in the local marina last year to rescue a girl who was mucking around in the water even though she couldn't swim (think she was around 12-13), and this prompted me to sign DC up for swimming lessons. We've been going for a year and they still can't swim because the progress is so so slow. In the end I took DC to Spain for a week so they could spend their time splashing in the pool (with me!) and they learned to swim pretty quickly. I feel better about swimming and being around water now, but I will still watch them like a hawk because kids often lack water sense and will piss around thinking they're invincible, and it only takes a few seconds for them to e.g. jump in the marina/river/pool. It is so easy to get distracted and I wouldn't blame the parents as these things happen so fast, but I'm doing my best to keep my DC safe, and I always keep an eye on other kids near water too because no one is drowning on my watch.

Horrible to think about.

3 years ago on holiday in Turkey the hotel we were staying at had a water slide that got turned on at intermittent times of the day. All the kids would rush in with floats, lilos etc so the bottom of the pool could hardly be seen. Both my older teenagers are trained lifeguards and immediately they heard the noise that the slide made as it turned on they would be 'on duty' and scanning the pool - they could not be relaxed until the pool cleared. There was no official lifeguard on duty - but at least for 2 weeks of the season my kids took on that role...

Its so scary. I dont know how parents of multiple children manage. I am surprised at how relaxed some parents are near water, I think like PPs have said lots of people and lifeguards give the illusion of safety.

many years ago a boy drowned in a local pool but what was tragic was he was under the water on the bottom for a long time with the other kids and adults swimming on the top. it was only when someone dived in he was spotted.
you can never take risks near water of any kind; sea. pools, rivers, etc. the trouble with holidays everyone is relaxed often with alcohol adults think they deserve a break too so they hit the cocktails read their books etc but it is too late when a child drowns. as someone else said its a silent thing often the old idea of kids screaming is rubbish they do not have time.
I wonder if I can add a personal plea as well? as well as holidays in the summer a lot of people are visiting relatives etc. please before you let your children into the gardens check if they have a pond. years ago my relation and his wife had a much longed for house to move to. on moving day the three children ran into the house and out in to the garden. in the time it took for the adults to get out of the car and walk through the house the smallest child fell into a goldfish pond that was in the garden they were not aware the last people had left. sadly by the time the pond was checked after trying everywhere else it was too late.

Imagine reading about such a tragedy and coming straight onto the Internet to post all the ways you're so much better than these very newly bereaved parents (who may well come on here for support).

The point could have been made without bringing someone else's tragedy into it, and inviting speculation as to all the ways people assume the parents have been negligent when you don't even have anything but the minimum of details.

This is the worst of MN honestly. Every time there's an accident and a child dies this happens.

Yes, exactly this. This is how my friend’s son drowned.

Last holiday we were sat next to lady, her mum and 4 year old. They sunbathed and left the child to swim on her own. The lifeguard had to tell them multiple times. They also rely on strangers fo watch their children, its neglectful and dangerous.

Agreed. My grandparents used to have beautiful ornamental ponds and a lot of parties, my mum said she never relaxed at any of them until we were late primary school age because she was terrified if she switched off for a minute and assumed someone else was watching we'd drown. Very grateful now when I have children of my own that she's still switched on to this sort of risk!

We were on a beach with marker buoys quite far out to show jet skis etc weren’t allowed to come near shore. There was a big family group with kids playing at the shore line and they’d brought a large inflatable swan. We heard a commotion and several of this group were running into the water. Realised the inflatable swan was past the marker buoys and heading out into the bay. Turned out there was a little girl of around 5 in it. It was awful, half the people who ran out and then tried to swim to her needed rescued themselves. A kayaker managed to go over and stop the swan going any further and eventually a jet skier brought her back to shore. I dread to think if she’d tried to get out. I think there was just so many adults in the group, they all thought someone else was watching the kids.

Also years ago saw a toddler step into the pool while mum and grandma were in the poolside showers and she’d wandered off. Luckily the life guard saw it at the same time I did and got there quickly, he reached down and grabbed her by her hair.

Another horrible thread in the disguise of ‘education’. In reality it’s lots of of posters affirming how nobody here would ever take their eyes off their children, never glance away for a second or get distracted for a moment (the underlying message there being their superior parenting means an accident could not happen to them and others must have been negligent if it has). This kind of thinking is dangerous in itself. ‘I’m not judging or being goady (but I pretty much am because here’s all the reasons it wouldn’t happen to me/ hasn’t happened to us)’.

I’m pretty sure all the parents and families this has happened to might have said the same thing once upon a time.

To date, nothing like this has happened to us and I consider myself very lucky. I try as hard as I can to watch my children when they are swimming, but I’m human, and I know that any number of factors - both in and out of my control - can and have happened which mean that I don’t have my children in my sight every single second. It’s not a lack of education, or care, or awareness - it’s life. Horrible things happen to good people all the time no matter how careful we are and I’m not going to judge (even when I’m pretending I’m not) anyone for it.

This is so sad

This, 💯. Horrible how other people’s tragedies bring out the absolute worst in people.

Influencer Emilie Kiser’s son tragically drowned just a few weeks ago and the abuse and scorn those parents have faced in the weeks since has been horrific - utterly beyond comprehension.

100% this.

We have a holiday home with a large very accessible pool. We have thankfully never had any near misses, and we had so many rules with the kids were little around not going outside the villa without an adult, keeping all the doors locked, kids learned to swim from when they were very small etc.

But I know that the reason we’ve not had any near misses is just that we haven’t been unlucky. With the best will in the world, accidents happen.

I hate these too. I was once alone by the pool (very early morning run) spotted a tiny toddler at the edge, about to jump in. We were the only people there. I grabbed her, wandered around to find her room, then I saw an open door! Mum came out and I told her. She had a completely blank expression. No ‘thanks’ no shock, nothing.

They were a family who went three on a motorbike with no helmets though so thick as mince.

I've heard of the strategy of a "necklace" for each child so it gets passed to whoever is watching them. That way everyone has a really clear idea, especially if there are a lot of adults so everyone doesn't just think someone else is.

Totally agree OP. I feel the same. A close friend of mine lost their child to drowning, it was over ten years ago - long before my own kids but it’s sat with me and I’m probably a bit over zealous with water. I won’t take my two swimming by myself for this reason.

Last year my son made friend with an 8 year old who was left to swim alone whilst his parents were elsewhere - in a yoga class etc. he was competent but still needed to avoid the deep end. I was horrified! There wasn’t even a life guard on duty at the resort.

There are definitely tragedies where it could happen to anyone, but also plenty of situations where parents are just not being careful. At a campsite in Italy a few years ago there was a wave pool - everyone would pile in and the waves were super strong. Myself and my husband took a kid each as it was so crowded it was very risky. Loads of lifeguards would line up either side. Where I was standing, there was a small boy on his own and not able to cope, but thinking he was having a great time. I'd say there were about 10 sets of eyes on him, he was pulled upright and out of the water by several people and just jumped back in. All these strangers kept him alive and when the wave bit ended he ran over to his dad, standing chatting at the other side of the pool, drinking beer. If your child is not big and a competent swimmer, you need to be in the water with them at all timea. I am a bit paranoid about water safety and see parents on holiday every year who are not watching their kids closely enough, in the pool or in the sea.

Its awful but I do think the time to talk about water and pool safety is straight after something like this happens. Whilst I feel sorry for the Kiser family I have seen a few families installing pool fences on SM. If one life is saved surely it is worth having the conversation?

A friend’s small son had a close call when the DH (who barely ever looked after the kids by hims) threw himself into the deep end of the holiday pool whilst the DH was doing laps. Apparently he had expected his young son just to sit there and watch him. I think it was a combination of not really knowing his own child as he was usually working and also going into ‘holiday mode’ where he felt entitled to relax.
The bottom line is that you never, ever get to relax when you have younger kids. It’s just how it is.

My oldest son got on fine with a float jacket, I don’t know why, but with my youngest he just fell face down and the water got between him and the jacket and dragged him down. We abandoned it quite quickly.