to think it is polite to ask first?

[Brownthosebrownonionsbrown]

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

You have to be joking!

He made you a nice meal and you behave like a spoilt ,and extremely fussy and ungrateful, brat. You need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

Crickey! Poor bloke.

Is this just your way of telling everyone you have a boyfriend. Have you just gone exclusive or something. Seems very shoehorny.

Most people would serve the curry and rice exactly the same as your boyfriend.
I would just be very happy someone was making me what sounds like a very tasty meal

I'm with you, I can't eat food like this. I do tell people before they dish up my food though in case they haven't noticed.

It’s

a

joke

Maybe it’s got ingrained in him that’s it’s the correct way to serve it?

💥

DH knows nobody plates my food - but we have been married ovr 20 years

It’s a really bad joke, and doesn’t come across like one either. Just sounds petulant and ungrateful and a massive great big red flag.

Can't bear people putting my curry or chilli on my rice.
If I want to mix it I will, but that's my call 😆

But why bother? 😂

lived experience! that is so jokes. its a ordinary meal someone cooked for you not an insult to your ha ha 'lived experience' you are too precious.

The OP has no sense of humour. The joke doesn’t make any sense 😂

I presume this is a joke

If not, you sound utterly insufferable 😂

Absolutely nothing. If it needs explaining it isn't funny 🤷‍♀️

It really doesn’t need explaining surely?

Can people genuinely not comprehend that a thing can be both lighthearted and also real.

Definitely LTB!!!!

My DD cooked me a curry the other day and actually mixed the rice and sauce together!

I had to grin and act like I was ok with it as unfortunately ditching your child for stirring your curry is frowned upon apparently.

You are in a relationship with an absolute madman.

This is a joke isn’t it?

My OH likes his food piled up……..I don’t…….we know enough about each other to plate up the others food accordingly. It is called communication.

The monster. Get out while you can.

I live in Thailand and your way is correct. They are always served separately.

He is absolutely a neanderthal and you should not only leave him, but perhaps start a Facebook group warning other women away from him. Maybe some printed posters to put in your local too!

You can never be too careful these days. Well done for standing your ground OP. Your lived rice experience is valid and I am holding space for it.

“Gaslight”

Oh dear

oh. Dear.

i reckon he’ll come to his senses about the Op soon enough

So no I wouldn’t think about asking either. It’s seriously not a big issue.

The only answer to that is to tell him you prefer them separate. I mean like an adult. Not as a telling off.

I actually sort of get why you say it’s not ok for him to tell you it’s not making a difference (because yes it’s making one to you). But I’m wondering how you explained your pov. Because it very much sound like he reacted to a telling off and him being told he has no basic manners (it will come out in tone if voice even if you dint say it iyswim). And I can see how he’d be exasperated if he made a big effort to prepare that meal only to be told it’s not good enough!

I suppose because it's funny to see the mumsnetters leap like tickled trout into huffy indignation