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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think it is polite to ask first?

137 replies

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 06/06/2025 09:03

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

OP posts:
Fingerpie · 06/06/2025 15:33

Garibald · 06/06/2025 15:30

I suppose because it's funny to see the mumsnetters leap like tickled trout into huffy indignation

Or just post a few lines about what a fruitcake the Op is?

Theroadt · 06/06/2025 15:42

Brownthosebrownonionsbrown · 06/06/2025 09:03

Fuming

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice, when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first. I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Eugh men

I’m assuming your post was in jest?

HoldmecloseTonyDanza · 06/06/2025 15:46

Garibald · 06/06/2025 15:30

I suppose because it's funny to see the mumsnetters leap like tickled trout into huffy indignation

Funny that OP never came back to clarify that 🤔

My first thought was.... I've seen a lot of justified complaints about men on MN, and some unjustified - but this is the least justified complaint ever!! Let's hope it's a wind up!

Lavenderflower · 06/06/2025 15:49

This is very weird - I would never have given any thought.

User79853257976 · 06/06/2025 16:04

Rice etiquette 😂

ObtuseMoose · 06/06/2025 16:04

TheAutumnCrow · 06/06/2025 14:39

It really doesn’t need explaining surely?

See the many, many posts asking if it's a joke!

SaintNoMountainHighEnough · 06/06/2025 16:06

Sounds like a great meal to me. Make your serving preference known first next time.

AgnesX · 06/06/2025 16:14

No naan or poppadoms?? Move on, there's more curried fish in the sea.

ilovesooty · 06/06/2025 16:25

RafaelBarba · 06/06/2025 10:47

Palate cleanser?

wtf, are you Hyacinth Bucket??😂

Pretentious twattery if it's serious. If it is serious he should dump her. If it's meant to be a joke I've seen funnier ones.

ilovesushi · 06/06/2025 16:26

My DH does side by side curry and rice. He always asks for people's preference but I've yet to come across anyone else who eats it this way - except the Op, so now there are two of them.

saraclara · 06/06/2025 16:35

Jeeze, I HATE having my food plated up by someone else. What makes them think they know how large a portion I want, or which things I want more of and which I want less of?

So it's definitely a LTcontrollingB from me!
😅

Shewhoshallnotbenamed91 · 06/06/2025 16:37

Genuinely hope this is a joke, because if not that man needs to run farrrrrrrrrr 🚩🚩

MasterBeth · 06/06/2025 16:52

I'm assuming this is a joke.

Let's hope it's a wind up.

Fuck me!

For all the dullards on here, IT'S A WIND UP!

And to help you in the future, this is how you recognise that this is all clearly, categorically, obviously a wind up (Not a kind of "I say, I say, I say" joke, but a dry commentary on the OP's actual aversion to having her rice and curry served together.)

Fuming.

This sets up an emotional tone of fury.

BF (few months relationship) invited me over to his for a meal, home made thai curry, so far so good. He plated it up in the kitchen and brought the food to me with all of the curry and sauce on top of the rice,

From fury to mundanity. Bathos. A comic device.

when I like to have them side by side and have some clean rice as a palate cleanser.

Deliberately unusual language conventions. Rice is not normally described as clean. Or as a palate cleanser. "Clean rice as a palate cleanser" is a comedic concept.

Its just good manners and basic rice etiquette to ask first.

Rice etiquette. That's already not a thing, right? Another comic invention. Basic rice etiquette is doubly not a thing. Gradations of rice etiquette is an obvious comic concept.

I cannot believe I was dating such a neanderthal. He even tried to gas light me, saying that it doesn't make any difference and basically trying to invalidate my feelings and lived experience.

Finally, the fury comes to the surface. This is an obviously exaggerated response to a rice slight. Clues: gas light and lived experience contrasting with basic rice etiquette. Hyperbole.

Eugh, men

It's not exactly Wildean wit, but it's a perfectly readable light for anyone with half a brain.

I honestly wonder how some of you manage to go through your day to day lives.

Neuro-diversity nothwithstanding, of course, etc etc etc.

(Rice slight* is my own linguistic conceit. It's not a joke, it's just a colourful turn of phrase. No-one can be slighted by rice. And it rhymes. Playful.)

SwimSwamSwimSwam · 06/06/2025 16:57

@MasterBeth 😂

It was obviously a joke to me.

Gustavo77 · 06/06/2025 17:00

This can't be serious.

ButteredRadish · 06/06/2025 17:02

Are you a toddler? He made you a meal that it sounds like you usually like so be grateful and let him know for next time. Also, telling you your way is wrong is not what gaslighting is! Ffs 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

saraclara · 06/06/2025 19:04

ButteredRadish · 06/06/2025 17:02

Are you a toddler? He made you a meal that it sounds like you usually like so be grateful and let him know for next time. Also, telling you your way is wrong is not what gaslighting is! Ffs 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

FFs 🙄 🤦‍♀️

BatchCookBabe · 06/06/2025 20:10

I don't get it Blush I can't see what's funny. Confused

Newname71 · 06/06/2025 20:35

I’m on the verge of divorcing DH for a similar thing… I like my food side by side. Fish fingers, chips and beans the other night….looked like he’d thrown it onto the plate from the other side of the room! 😂
ETA. We’ve been together 27 years so don’t hold your breath OP. It won’t get any better.

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 06/06/2025 20:46

YANBU. I have a side by side preference too.

Masmavi · 06/06/2025 23:56

This is a spoof post, right?

TheAutumnCrow · 07/06/2025 04:04

Masmavi · 06/06/2025 23:56

This is a spoof post, right?

No, it was entirely serious and no MN memes and clichéd talking points of fury were mocked whatsoever, nor any mild comedy scenarios or overactions described.

Mothership4two · 07/06/2025 04:31

LTB

Mothership4two · 07/06/2025 04:37
Night Museum GIF

BF

Toddlerteaplease · 07/06/2025 05:40

alcoholnightmare · 06/06/2025 09:11

Maybe next time take round your own plastic toddler plate with the separate section bits?

😂😂

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