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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

852 replies

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:17

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

Light Blue Girls Gingham Longer Length School Shorts | School | George at ASDA

• Shorts • Cotton rich • 2 side slip pockets • 2 side patch pockets • Pull on. Shop from our latest range in School.

https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?cmpid=ppc-_-geor-_--_--_--_-dskwid-_dm&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds&redirectFromInt=1

OP posts:
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10
Mumtryingtolivethedream · 07/06/2025 18:34

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:23

Do you think he would be bullied? Why?

Because he'd be the only boy in the whole school wearing them that makes him different children are cruel and he will be bullied for being the odd one out.
Why inflict this on him it's hard enough gor kids to go to school and fit in as it is

Teddybear23 · 07/06/2025 18:45

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:23

Do you think he would be bullied? Why?

I’d have thought it was obvious!

RampantIvy · 07/06/2025 18:48

It's a horrible thought, but do you think other kids might think he had been put in them because he had had an accident in his school shorts?

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 18:54

Annascaul · 07/06/2025 17:24

If they’d been advertised as boy’s shorts, maybe op’s ds wouldn’t have been the only boy in the school wearing them?

I’ve just looked at my DCs’ school and a few other local primaries. Not one of them lists uniform as ‘For Boys’ and ‘For Girls’. The uniform items are just listed out with no comment on which sex they’re for. I’m sure there was something about this years ago. Can’t remember when, but it seems to be common.

Perhaps we should follow your suggestion and have the list twice - one saying Boys Uniform, one saying Girls Uniform, but each list having the same items on? I find it sad that parents would need a pair of shorts listed in that way to feel able to dress their son in a perfectly innocuous pair of blue shorts.

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:01

I think at the start of school it is probably easier to wear the standard uniform.
It is annoying that boys all wear grey/black trousers/shorts and girls have more variation... but I can also see that turning up in these might cause other kids to make comments. This doesn't make it right, but I would worry about this right at the start of school.
Both my girls when they were older, wore boys grey shorts and my son has always worn a cardigan... but I guess these are more conservative choices.
I have to say, I have seen girls wear these at school and they do look more like a skirt when they're on.

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 19:01

Mumtryingtolivethedream · 07/06/2025 18:34

Because he'd be the only boy in the whole school wearing them that makes him different children are cruel and he will be bullied for being the odd one out.
Why inflict this on him it's hard enough gor kids to go to school and fit in as it is

Bullies shouldn’t be making the rules. In fact, most children are far more open-minded and accepting than you imply.

My youngest DC’s year has a boy with long blond hair; a child in a wheelchair; a child with bright ginger hair; children of various ethnicities and religions; a child with a medical condition; numerous children wearing glasses, etc etc - and not one of those children is bullied. They’re not seen as The Boy With Long Hair or whatever, they’re seen as Freddie (not real name) who’s good at X, Y and Z and is {insert personal characteristics like kindness, humour, etc}.

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:06

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 16:26

Someone tell Next these gingham shorts aren’t for “proper boys” 😂

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su071958/ag3804?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=10437594385&gbraid=0AAAAADm_5UX2XRcWdtjlCXBoMi92dHGlt&gclid=CjwKCAjwo4rCBhAbEiwAxhJlCTIEKlM1fEw42WhiI-GmGq1hFSkKDcq2PXPnP-zCq98nXJ0DMXMrOxoCcHAQAvD_BwE#AG3804

And that anyone dressing their son in them obviously wanted a boy 🙄 FFS, the regressive sexism here is shocking. I reckon a lot of the ‘he’ll get bullied’ is an excuse for some people to maintain their sexist beliefs (“Well, of course, I would put him in gingham, Beth, but the other children will bully him, you see”).

I don't get your point... well I do, but it doesn't work, because they don't look like they're made out of the material they make girls school summer dresses out of?

Needspaceforlego · 07/06/2025 19:11

Huge difference between those next shorts and the Asda ones.
The lenght, colour navy vs pale blue, pockets, the fabric the next ones look thicker.. The Asda ones probably look more like collottes/skirt when they are on too.

So no I don't think that's an argument that the Next ones look Girlie. The Asda ones definitely look girlie

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 19:20

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:06

I don't get your point... well I do, but it doesn't work, because they don't look like they're made out of the material they make girls school summer dresses out of?

They’re the first ones that came up when I googled, but I’m sure there are more of a similar thickness which look more like the ones at the beginning of this thread. A number of people here have gone “gingham??” and then said that that’s just for girls - which is patently untrue.

I doubt the OP was planning to buy that exact model of shorts, so she could simply have chosen blue gingham ones that looked less like culottes if that’s an issue. Gingham shorts of suitable cut and thickness are fine for both boys and girls in Summer.

To be clear, boys can wear gingham and boys aren’t limited to wearing navy blue rather than lighter blue. Boys can also wear pink or whatever. I’m genuinely shocked at some of the comments here.

HaveCreditWillShop · 07/06/2025 19:25

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:22

So why do the girls wear them?

I have never seen girls wear them and assume they’re designed to be worn under the dresses. I can tell you from personal experience, 4/5 year olds in a gingham dress spend 50% of their time with their legs in the air so I put cycling shorts on my daughter, but these would be a good alternative.

Khayker · 07/06/2025 19:31

Makingitupaswegoalong · 06/06/2025 07:23

Do you think he would be bullied? Why?

Its not up to you as the school sets the uniform policy as someone has already posted. As far as him being bullied, you're making him different from other boys and therefore a target. If you do that you can expect some comments or teasing from his peers because that's what a lot of children are like. Why would you be happy to put him in a girls pair of shorts if the only people that are wearing them are girls and your son. What does he want and are you trying to make him different and stand out for some reason? As others have said, there's school uniform for a reason.

Calliopespa · 07/06/2025 19:31

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 19:20

They’re the first ones that came up when I googled, but I’m sure there are more of a similar thickness which look more like the ones at the beginning of this thread. A number of people here have gone “gingham??” and then said that that’s just for girls - which is patently untrue.

I doubt the OP was planning to buy that exact model of shorts, so she could simply have chosen blue gingham ones that looked less like culottes if that’s an issue. Gingham shorts of suitable cut and thickness are fine for both boys and girls in Summer.

To be clear, boys can wear gingham and boys aren’t limited to wearing navy blue rather than lighter blue. Boys can also wear pink or whatever. I’m genuinely shocked at some of the comments here.

There are no strict rules. It’s a case of intuition.

Gingham is fine on shirts but on shorts is more usually typical of baby clothing or men’s boxer shorts.

The style of the girls’ school shorts was different, and there is no rule about pale blue but when you add a girly style and a small gingham pattern it starts to shift. Men wear pink shirts; they tend not to wear pink trousers. You can’t say a colour is ok or not ok per se. It’s about assessing how it looks and using judgment.

If op had posted and said “ my little boy loves these shorts and really wants to wear them “ people might have responded differently. It’s all a matter of balance. As it stands, he hasn’t asked to wear the same fabric that the girls wear and which is not suggested for the boys. In those circumstances most of us think no,

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:33

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 19:20

They’re the first ones that came up when I googled, but I’m sure there are more of a similar thickness which look more like the ones at the beginning of this thread. A number of people here have gone “gingham??” and then said that that’s just for girls - which is patently untrue.

I doubt the OP was planning to buy that exact model of shorts, so she could simply have chosen blue gingham ones that looked less like culottes if that’s an issue. Gingham shorts of suitable cut and thickness are fine for both boys and girls in Summer.

To be clear, boys can wear gingham and boys aren’t limited to wearing navy blue rather than lighter blue. Boys can also wear pink or whatever. I’m genuinely shocked at some of the comments here.

Of course boys can wear Gingham and pink and whatever they feel like wearing. I'm not saying that.
The main difference between these 2 pairs of shorts is that one is school uniform and one is not... so if the op wants to choose something like the gingham ones in next, she will have to make sure they are OK with the school, if it's a uniform wearing school.
The other difference is that the ones in the OPs post are advertised as girls, because they are made from the material that the girls dresses are.
All Im saying is that If the ops son wears something very different from the other kids, it may get commented on, which can be tricky for some kids.
Your dc's school sounds idyllic, although you may not know everything that is said by other children in the school... but I can tell you, it isn't always like that.

HaveCreditWillShop · 07/06/2025 19:34

Lets just remember this isn’t about you, it’s about your child and them fitting in and making friends. You might not like those shorts but 99% of little boys in this country are wearing them.
I truly can’t fathom your problem - it’s a uniform, not a catwalk show.
After your child has noticed they’re the odd one out, the next lot who will clock it will be the other playground mums, and you’ll be the talk of the playground for putting him in gingham bloomers.
swallow whatever misplaced pride is making you want to send him to school head to toe in Frugi/ Blade and Rose.

chlodk · 07/06/2025 19:35

They look like boxer shorts. Definitely wouldn’t put my son in the firing line for mocking and bullying.

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:36

HaveCreditWillShop · 07/06/2025 19:25

I have never seen girls wear them and assume they’re designed to be worn under the dresses. I can tell you from personal experience, 4/5 year olds in a gingham dress spend 50% of their time with their legs in the air so I put cycling shorts on my daughter, but these would be a good alternative.

The shorts in the OP are definitely worn as standalone bottoms, not under skirts... on the kids I've seen wearing them, they look a bit like skirts or possibly culottes.

Calliopespa · 07/06/2025 19:37

Incidentally I think those shorts actually look babyish more than girly - though they look girly more than boyish. If other boys in the year group were wearing them I’d say go ahead. But it sounds from what op says they are all in a more mature grey,

HaveCreditWillShop · 07/06/2025 19:53

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 19:36

The shorts in the OP are definitely worn as standalone bottoms, not under skirts... on the kids I've seen wearing them, they look a bit like skirts or possibly culottes.

I’d forgotten about Culottes! I guess maybe with the school polo shirt? I’ve never seen them on the kids round here (Surrey).

BizzyLizzyandLittleMo · 07/06/2025 19:59

They’re awful regardless of whether they’re for girls or boys. You’re overthinking it. Just get the grey ones and be done with it

Hoppers13 · 07/06/2025 20:05

HaveCreditWillShop · 07/06/2025 19:53

I’d forgotten about Culottes! I guess maybe with the school polo shirt? I’ve never seen them on the kids round here (Surrey).

Yes, with polo shirts or a shirt that matches the bottom, so it looks a bit like the dresses.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/06/2025 20:11

He needs to wear whatever the school uniform for boys is. You can’t just decide you’re putting him in gingham shorts because the girls wear gingham dresses.

Everything else to be said about it is just noise frankly - just follow the uniform. Your son’s start in reception is not the time or place to be making a point - children want to fit in.

Happydays2025 · 07/06/2025 21:53

Doesn't matter what your opinion is, the uniform policy is what it is and given it's available up front usually why send your child to a school if you don't intend to comply with theur policy. As if teachers don't have enough to deal with.

helpmeCalifornia · 07/06/2025 21:59

I don’t think it’s always as blatant as bullying, but young children around Reception age definitely go through a spell of ‘gender policing’ as it were. I’ve taught children whose own mothers were doctors who would furiously insist in the role play area that girls are nurses and boys are doctors and that’s that. Lots of discussion about what is a boy’s/ girl’s colour and the same boys who spent most of the nursery year happily dressed as Minnie Mouse or Elsa suddenly get very militant about what constitutes boys or girls clothing.

Of course it’s just a phase and them figuring things out, and of course you want to challenge these stereotypes and point out that anyone can drink from the pink cup, like dinosaurs, play fairies or wear gingham shorts - sometimes all at the same time.

With my own DD, I have to admit to feeling a bit heartbroken when she insists on wearing the pinafore option rather than the comfy stretchy trousers otherwise she will ‘look like a boy’, and I’m bloody fed up with the impractical pale yellow gingham dresses and once worn forever ruined white knee socks. But she’s one of the youngest in her Reception year and already navigating so much, I feel like forcing her to blaze a trail for gender equality is probably a bridge too far. I still talk about how girls can wear trousers and boys can have long hair etc, pointing out examples and trying to offer diverse interests and role models. But right now she wants and needs to fit in so we’ll go with that for the time being. Plus, as insistent as my DD is, it’s still somehow more socially acceptable for girls to wear the same as the boys, than for boys to wear what’s perceived as the ‘girls’ option. Which is all kinds of wrong, and if I had a boy who was really keen to go against the norm I hope I’d support and encourage him in that - but I wouldn’t want to have him navigate all the above just because I thought it looked nicer of that was how it ‘should’ be.

BreatheAndFocus · 07/06/2025 22:05

Calliopespa · 07/06/2025 19:31

There are no strict rules. It’s a case of intuition.

Gingham is fine on shirts but on shorts is more usually typical of baby clothing or men’s boxer shorts.

The style of the girls’ school shorts was different, and there is no rule about pale blue but when you add a girly style and a small gingham pattern it starts to shift. Men wear pink shirts; they tend not to wear pink trousers. You can’t say a colour is ok or not ok per se. It’s about assessing how it looks and using judgment.

If op had posted and said “ my little boy loves these shorts and really wants to wear them “ people might have responded differently. It’s all a matter of balance. As it stands, he hasn’t asked to wear the same fabric that the girls wear and which is not suggested for the boys. In those circumstances most of us think no,

I’m very surprised at this. How can you (and others) think this? It’s so bizarrely regressive. I keep saying it, but I truly am gobsmacked.

I’m guessing you and many others here are younger than me and I just find it so bloody depressing to be going backwards like this. I grew up in the 1980s and we laughed at adults who had strict ideas about how boys and girls dressed. I wouldn’t have believed that these gender stereotypes would have made a big comeback years later.

Who are these people “assessing how [clothes] look” and judging shades of blue?? I dressed my son in a pink cardie that belonged to his DSis.No gender stereotypes police turned up and berated me! I wanted a specific style of shoes for him as a toddler and they were only available in the Girls Shoes section. I bought them, he wore them and everything was fine.

Let Clothes Be Clothes, as they say. All these silly gender stereotype ideas for clothes are the reason it’s hard to find a dinosaur or a space t shirt for girls. Children’s clothes were a lot less gendered when I grew up. Even the Lego wasn't gendered - and look at it now.

But it’s not just about the clothes, it’s about the whole gender stereotypes that mean ‘women’s work’ is often looked down on; women are told that being a bricklayer isn’t a job for a woman; women are paid less than men, etc etc.

As for men not wearing pink trousers - they do. Here’s some:

https://www.brooktaverner.co.uk/tailored-fit-broderick-pink-garment-dyed-casual-trousers-8029a.html?autoapplycoupon=GS29&gadsource=1&gadcampaignid=21768475356&gbraid=0AAAAAD8idIUEfy4YnRroAJRozaWKrJY&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxoCBhDbARIsADWpDH6XwBmjrD2m-jHoaVkgUST33ESGYBxh7XyWKF492-Oe1tgPnBEngaAvhfEALwwcB#color=2427&trouserwaist=2374&leglength=2330&campaign=21778754350&content=&keyword=

M & S have a choice of pink trousers too:

https://www.marksandspencer.com/l/men/mens-trousers/fs5/pink

.

Nanny0gg · 07/06/2025 22:10

It's the kid that will be picked on whether we like it or not.

Don't use him to fight our battles

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