To ask if boys can wear coloured gingham school shorts?

[Makingitupaswegoalong]

DS starting school in September. I’ve never liked the grey boys’ school shorts. I think they’re horrible.

Could a boy wear the shorts version of the summer dresses in the warmer months? The ones like this:
https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/light-blue-girls-gingham-longer-length-school-shorts/G008057152,default,pd.html?redirectFromInt=1&cmpid=ppc--geor-------_-dskwid-_dm&utm_campaign=pla:Fashion-School-_Performance_Max&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=17501196607&gbraid=0AAAAADt8Wcm1oMWVYoBrMZRAaJmY4OxHM&gclid=Cj0KCQjwgIXCBhDBARIsAELC9ZgYG9pdeZibdgD76_xniRBLDqnyyvZArL9DdLA7VsYiWE5zGC1CWE0aAkIFEALw_wcB

The little boys round here wear a lot of brightly coloured patterned leggings.

Why couldn’t they were these shorts? Are they obviously girly? Would people bully him or think we were weird? I just think they’re nicer.

Christ!!! Don’t set your kid up to be bullied. Get him the sane shorts as his friends. It’s a uniform, deliberately not a place for self (or in this case mother’s) expression.

How dare you? Equating a political philosophy that has caused and continues to cause pain and death to a kids uniform policy. Just because you think your kid should somehow be special at school and don’t want him wearing grey you think this comparison is appropriate????? Hopefully in the future you can sit on in some of his history lessons and find out what facism is.

They do those shorts in grey also if it's the style you like

https://direct.asda.com/george/school/shorts/grey-longer-length-girls-school-shorts/G008067849,default,pd.html

It says girls in the description.

It’s the fact they look babyish and he’s going to school.

It’s fine to let your ds wear pink at home if he’s happy with it. It’s not the pink itself anyone worries will affect them; it’s the teasing. Sending them to a school with uniform with the wrong clothing and, worse still, clothing that looks a bit young is not helpful.

All the womens work stuff really has nothing to do with it. I know plenty of feminine women who dress very much like a woman but work in male-dominated fields.

Maybe the un-gendered clothing and Lego sets you remember didn’t do the trick if everyone has regressed so much. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is not about YOU or fashion -it’s uniform- which means to be the same - I had this in1970s and I still hate that I was the weird hippy one - wear the bloody uniform- do your ‘differences’ later - when it’s your choice but don’t make it for your child.

Can’t imagine it’s in the uniform policy

I will also point out that the photos of the next shorts are modelled on a preschool child. I think they would look wrong on a 5 + year old. It's irrelevant anyway because it's not school uniform

Agree they are totally different than pale blue gingham. I do think they'd be ok for a beach at any age, but also school isn't the beach. The whole point of the school gingham shorts and playsuits is to look like the dresses.

I wouldn’t.

Agreed. It’s thoroughly depressing.

It feeds into exactly the same ecosystem as Andrew Tate and trad wives. Presumably there are quite a few religious nut job American shills pushing regressive gender stereotypes on sites like this one - maybe even this thread.

It’s also shocking how many people actually believe that the best way to deal with sexist attitudes is to acquiesce to them and the bullies that hold them. What’s the logical end point of that? Women, do the housework for him otherwise it’s you that’ll get hit.

Interesting that you assume the women on here to be much younger than you - I assumed they were all much older, because the views are so old-fashioned.

Either way, the internalised misogyny is strong.

Yawn.

Nobody is being old fashioned. People are being realistic.
Putting girls in boyish clothes is fine. Taboos were broken during the war years.
Putting boys in girlish clothes is a no-no, especially for school.

Unless they are old enough to realise they are likely to take a slagging for it and it's 100% their choice then just don't do it.

If you wouldn't put a boy in a girls school skirt, then why would you put them in a pair of girlie shorts?

BTW Lego wasn't really gender neutral it was in many eyes sold as boys toys. Lego released pink lego in the 90s to get a bigger share of the girl market. I even have a technic set bought from Argos around 2004 with an Argos Code label and Boys Toys written on it.

Back to being obsessed with me?

🤣

Have you considered a hobby?

Needlepoint might be worth the exploring.

How were those taboos broken?

By women getting on and wearing the clothes they wanted to.

So if we don’t afford boys the same opportunities, how will anything change?

Or do you think we should just live with misogyny?

Oh for goodness sake not everything is misogyny
Why would anyone deliberately set out out to make their child a target?
In an ideal world kids should be able to wear what they but it isn't an ideal world and other children will notice this boy wearing gingham shorts and be mean about it.

Eh do a little history women does manual men's jobs and women's skirts just weren't practical.

It's was adult women who broke the taboos not wee girls going to school. Thought the 80s girls uniforms didn't include trousers. Getting trousers suitable for work wasn't easy in the 90s either.

When it becomes socially acceptable for adult men to wear collottes, dresses and skirts without having some sorts of trans or cross dressing identity that is the time for boys also to wear dresses, skirts and collottes.

There's a world of difference between allowing your child to choose clothes traditionally associated with girls at home and school uniform. Because you are making your child a target.

Grey shorts are chosen to be practical, gingham dress are not. Because we still socialise girls to play and behave in a very different way.

Do I think that's right? No I personally don't think so and yes I think it's regressive. My school gingham dress was always muddy and scruffy from climbing trees and grubbing about in underground dens. I've never been traditionally feminine.

As an adult i never wear skirts and dresses make up once a blue moon, they're not practical for my life. However I didn't resent them as a child as I didn't know any different, as I've got older I've found what is right for me, as most of us do.

The real issue is not clothes. It's not socialising girls into believing that have to care for everyone and look pretty and quiet doing so and for boys it's teaching them that it's okay to be caring and their whole life doesn't gave to revolve around cars and football and they should know how to look after themselves.

Gingham shorts aren't the answer sadly, though as a 9 year old girl I could have made good use of them.

I reject the premise that kids at reception age will single anyone out and bully them. My kids’ school has all kinds of non-traditional families in it and people from many different ethnicities. No-one has been saying mean things about the kids with 2 dads or 2 mums, or the kid whose parents are heavily tattooed or the several boys with long hair in clips and bunches.

The only time appearance has been an issue was a kid saying she didn’t like playing with brown kids and none of her friends were allowed to either. Obviously that was dealt with - but by explaining clearly why that was unacceptable.

Exactly the same principle applies here. It is not on the person being picked on to change - it’s for the bully to be educated that judging people on appearance is unacceptable.

Honestly, it’s not a big deal.

Maybe it’s because the people who don’t do all the washing up and work in male dominated fields realise it’s not the superficial things like what they wear that made the difference for them; it’s about the deeper self-belief and drive, and that isn’t developed by forcing children into school wearing the wrong clothes or feeling othered in order to make a point about misogyny. It’s by supporting children to believe they can do and be what they want, not what their mum wants to make a statement about.

I do think you have a point where it’s what the child wants, but that simply isn’t the case here.

ETA it’s not polite to try to attack different points of view with insults like “ nut job American shills”.

Even if the reception kids won't make fun of the child other kids will ,nobody can be there every second of day you have no idea what kids say ti each other in the play ground ,
If you want to make your kid a target to prove a point then go right ahead but I'm not sure I'm not sure they will thank youfor it though.

Kilts. Sarongs. Dishdashah/kandura. All socially acceptable skirts worn by men.

Interesting that you point out that women’s clothing isn’t practical - exactly. Gendered clothes uphold regressive gender stereotypes.

Clothes aimed at boys are generally darker colours, sturdier fabric. Suitable for climbing trees, being physical, comfortable.

Clothes aimed at girls are usually brighter/lighter colours, flouncier, less robust fabric - less suitable for being outdoors, climbing, building, exploring.

It’s fantastic that we have partially dismantled the regressive nonsense, but it should go both ways.

Women can be practical, strong, brave and men can be sensitive, thoughtful, gentle.

There is no shame in a boy wearing flowery patterns or pink and violet. There’s no shame in them being soft and kind. So why are we teaching our boys that there is?

And when we do, why are we surprised that there is a male mental health crisis? And that dickheads like Tate fill the void?

Obviously this is all very extreme compared to the original post, but it’s all part of the same thing - a system that upholds regressive stereotypes damaging for both sexes.

there are nut job American shills paying a lot of money to seed damaging attitudes across social media. Look at the ridiculous rise of anti-abortion sentiment in the UK. I don’t feel the need to be polite about them - or anything else on an anonymous forum.

I also excel in a very male dominated field and I absolutely put that down to being brought up with strong feminist principles.

But those principles also made me understand how damaging gender stereotypes are.

Don’t get me wrong - if the kid doesn’t want to wear the shorts, they shouldn’t be forced to, but all this ‘you’re making him a target’ is wrong think.

I think you're massively over-thinking this, considering you have no reason at all to suspect that your son will dislike the grey shorts. You're projecting your own associations onto your child. From his point of view, they will just be a normal item of clothing that all the boys are wearing.

I'm a teacher and am actually no particular fan of uniform, but kids generally like wearing the same kind of stuff as their peers.

As I said earlier, your dvs school sounds idyllic.
However, unless you're in school all day I'm not sure you see and know everything that goes on.
Also, what you describe just isn't the case in all schools. Kids can be mean, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. Adults in the school should, and hopefully do, deal with these things, but they also can not be aware of everything that happens.
There will be children turning up to school who have many things that make them different, and adults will teach children, throughout the years that we should respect each other's differences, build self esteem, and support children when others make mean comments.
If a child turned up at school wearing the shorts the op posted, there may well be other children who say, "miss, why is Bob wearing girls shorts?"... that isnt the child being mean, they are asking a question.Hopefully the adults in Bob's class will respond something like, "well they're not girls shorts, they're Bob's shorts. People can wear whatever clothes they like, girls can have short hair and wear what they like and boys can have long hair and wear what they like, it doesn't change who they are. We all look different, and we all like different things, and this makes the world a wonderful and interesting place. Now, why don't you, me, and Bob go and do some junk modelling."