To just be pissed off with DH for approaching sex in this way

[Generationgame9]

I don’t know if I’m giving him a short shrift, or if I’m right to be pissed off. We’ve been together 12 years, have a 3yo DD and currently going to fortnightly marriage counselling as we’ve been through a lot.

Sex has been on the back burner for a long time.. I think the last time was December, and we haven’t spoken about it since aside from saying in counselling we both want it, we’ve just lost our way. We agreed to go on a date night etc and slowly see where it goes.

Anyway today he was off. I’m WFH. I’m going through a lot at the moment, at risk of redundancy, my heads just a bit all over the place. He’s obviously in the mood, grabbing my bum as he walks past etc which he hasn’t done in a really long time.

I came down for a cup of tea midafternoon, and he says ‘let’s have a quickie’. I said I’m really not in the mood, and I’m upset that’s how you approach it after this long of not even speaking about it. He then follows up with ‘well just flash me then’. I’m really upset. Ffs. I didn’t, I just said I was going back up to the office. I just thought we were slowly rebuilding things, and now I feel like he’s not taking it seriously. I will speak to him later obviously, just needed to rant.

YABU - you’re being hormonal and a bit shitty
YANBU - that was a bit grim

The first time after a long time is the worst,

Now it's gonna be only better. ;) sex is best when you do not overthink it. All the best to you two :)

I’m so glad for you OP. Sometimes that’s all it takes! Onwards and upwards.

🥳🥳🥳🥳

so his method did work! As they say closed mouths and all that

Good news. Well done, you two.
I hope that you'll laugh about this when you reminisce many years from now.

Well done, I hope this is the start of things getting better for you both - and that you can move forward happily together. I’m sure in a ten years this will be a funny memory.

Well done OP!! 🤩

So happy to read this @Generationgame9! I was really nervous to post what I did (about him being clumsy, but pick up in his cues) as I was expecting a lot of ‘he’s a schoolboy sex pest’ replies but as per PP, sometimes you have to just get back on the …erm… horse!

I'm glad you had a good evening.
Sometimes working past the words and looking at the intention is helpful.
Hopefully it gives him and you the confidence to bring it up again with slightly better phrasing for where you are right now. Some times the sexiest thing a person can do is recognise you and your needs. They are saying I see you, all of you and I'm right here with you

On thing I have learnt is to lean into the foreplay. I might not have been in the mood at the start but actually realised that it wouldn't take much affection to get me in the mood. It didn't always happen so there were times where it stopped at foreplay but it definitely helped to get back into the swing of things

Brilliant! 🤗

Men…
it’s all visual with them and cerebral for us!
x