DH tells me off publicly when I interrupt him while he's on the phone and I hate it - AIBU?

[Zeemie22]

My DH (44) tells me (36) off and doesn't hold back around friends or family if I interject while he's on a call, even if it is with a casual friend or one of his brothers or his mum or whoever else, not just business calls which I almost never interrupt. It makes me feel disrespected, like I'm small and I'm not allowed to be a part of that conversation even if it's his brother on the phone making plans for everyone getting together for a family lunch and me saying hey how about that XYZ place we went to. I said it thrice because DH ignored me the first two times. The third time he snapped at me and yelled that I have no manners and that I am interrupting him again and again while he's on a call. He was on a call with his brother. I'm his wife and I was to attend that lunch too as a guest at the restaurant my husband and my in laws were hosting.

Also, when I went to the restaurant there was a menu on the table and I picked it up and said can I order this - it was something grilled. He said no it is going to take a long time and they've already ordered and the food is going to come any minute. Well it took a good 20 minutes before the food arrived and I was only wanting a plate of mince grilled kebabs that I'm sure wouldn't have taken any longer than 20 minutes, and even if it did I wouldn't have had an issue waiting. And when he said no you can't order it, my MIL started laughing and I felt super embarassed. I felt insulted. I didn't want to to eat that table after that and my husband kept forcing me to eat when I had lost my appetite and started saying loud enough for others to hear well if you want a fight we will have a fight but not here, at home.

I felt insulted and belittled. Twice in a day.

Am I overthinking this? AIBU? What would you do if you were in my shoes? How would you have reacted?

OP, alone would be 100 times better than unsafe.
And almost certainly it won’t be a case of alone anyway. There are good men out there and you deserve one of them. This waste of oxygen is not a better alternative to ANYTHING

OP, this man is violent, physically and mentally abusive, and humiliates you in public. He is nowhere NEAR 'decent.' He's a violent abuser.

You can enjoy a happy, calm and peaceful life. You need to leave him, take legal advice and move forward into your own future.

You've had some very good advice on organisations to contact. Concentrate on investigating those avenues

@Zeemie22 kindly he isn’t decent . He hits you at the worst of times and is unpleasant to you at the best of
times. You can and will do better x

You haven't got someone decent right now!

You'd be better off long term single than with a man who hits you.

At least when you're single you're not being abused and you have the chance to meet someone else.

What incredible things you have achieved!! Well done you! You've worked too hard to be treated the way you are being right now. I think your husband is jealous of your achievements maybe and wants to prove he's is still in charge no matter what you have accomplished. I would get out of this marriage ASAP. Do you have anyone irl you could talk to

No one has told you to fuck off or go fuck your self

Why are you making this thread about you? Stop derailing.

Thank you, I will have a read through this I've opened it in another tab 🙏

What anyone thinks about you regarding phone calls and restaurants is irrelevant to your real plight, which is that you are in a violent marriage.

Please do post again, in Relationships or South Asian MNers, with the details of your marriage.

I hope you can get the help and support you need.

Jesus. Save it. This is hardly the thread for a stupid scrap between posters.

but some are only looking at half the story @Zeemie22

This is not about interrupting phone calls.

Your husband punches you in the face!!

It doesn't really matter which of you is being unreasonable. The bottom line is that you're not suited to each other. Maybe it's the to call it a day and stop making each other miserable.

@SheridansPortSalut

have a re-read

eta; including updates from @Zeemie22 @KimMumsnet

Op please reach out to the agencies already mentioned for support. There is a better life for you out there. But you will need support to get there. Wishing you all the best.

Jeez this board really does need a ‘banging head against wall’ emoji. Read the updates fgs

Sweetheart, he hits you in the face and is controlling like this? I think you should take a deep breath and post a new thread on the Relationships board about the fact you’re in an abusive relationship. A thread that won’t get cluttered up with people’s views on interrupting phone conversations and ordering food in restaurants.

https://www.gov.uk/indefinite-leave-to-remain-domestic-violence-abuse

Your said you couldn't be bothered to even read OP's updates, so I stand by what I say & agree with PP!
Perhaps learn a lesson, and actually read threads in future.

@Zeemie22 You’re 36 - you have so much time to meet someone decent. I promise❤

Could you get back in touch with some of your friends? I’m sure they’d love to hear from you.

You’re obviously a determined and well travelled individual, and intelligent with a good degree. You have so much going for you.

I’m afraid this man has knocked all your confidence. He’s conditioned you into believing you’re not good enough for anyone. He’s conditioned you into believing you deserve to be hit, and spoken to in a horrible way.

Please seek out some real life support such as contacting WomensAid or reaching out to trusted family, colleagues, old friends. You need proper support around your.

Please believe that you are worth so much more than this horrible man.

@SheridansPortSalut its more than them be unsuited to each other, OP’s husband hits her

Please can you post this at the top of the thread.

not sure that is justified.....I got it wrong removed my post and apologised.

Ddakji didn’t quote you when they wrote that! Why are you making things up? What’s wrong with you?

Please step back @MumbleBumbleAppleCrumble

Perhaps you're hurt?

This is not your thread though, is it?