AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

I ❤️ you OP.

Would they? I actually don’t find that to be true in my experience if Mumsnet.

Funny!
( Mumsnet have removed the laugh emoji.)

@Boreded
Well aren’t you the lucky one?! Today, you have learnt that it is not a nice thing to do to make the same tedious ‘joke’ to someone every day for two years, about something you know nothing about, and that if you do so, that person is eventually going to snap and say something very rude to you.
And you haven’t even had to be shouted at to learn that lesson.

OP, I think you were very restrained to have kept your patience with him for this long. And I think your friend is great. I doubt it will sink in because people like that are always going to think of themselves as the victim of the piece because the alternative is to admit that they’ve been a complete twat. I think he’ll probably adopt the attitude that he was only being friendly and that you couldn’t take a joke. But hopefully, your response will have been enough to make him keep his distance from you in the future.

His wife whatsapped you, to say HE was upset. FFS, what a bellend.
Good for you.

And this is the absolute crux of it isn’t it. Certain men have this list of things they only say to women, ranging from cheer up love it may never happen to stuff like the op has said or when you are buying a car or something expensive and they make some comment about how their wife is always spending their money. It’s like they will do anything for female interaction.

People like that always deserve it. Hope it really took the wind out of his sails.

I’ve mastered the look that says talk to me at your own peril so people don’t interfere with my business anymore 😂 but all the times I wish I’d shut people down over the years. Good on you op.

Why was your FIL upset?
Did you tell him off? Your post doesn’t mention anything about you retaliating.
But if you did well done you and your MIL should have been telling her DH off for laughing at you, not you telling him it wasn’t on.

This kind of sums up where me and my circle of friends are now.

We won't start stuff, but you better be ready to have the head snapped off you if YOU do!

Gone are the times of quietly seething at a rude, inappropriate, over familiar remark, by ANYONE.

Now its a rapid fire "Don't speak to me like that/ Who do you think you are speaking to?/ What exactly do you mean by that?" accompanied with a face that would sour cream.

Yep, be ready to have your "banter" thrown back at you in a way you won't forget easily in public.

So over being polite.
Completely over rated in the face of rudeness.

Much better for my BP.

He obviously found his soul mate in his wife😅😅😅

I saw an interesting Insta video last night that was talking about the evolutionary reason for menopause and women living 1/4 of their life after finishing their biological imperative of making babies. Us, whales and elephants have menopause apparently. And matriarchal societies. Why do we live for a long time after menopause? Because we need to impart our knowledge to the rest of the herd to ensure they live their best lives for as long as possible. A menopausal women has been through a LOT and has huge reserves of wisdom to impart on the younglings.

I now think of the menopause as a removing of the BeKind shackles. We no longer have to Be Kind. We can be honest. We do not need to acquiesce to other’s sensitivities or pander to arrogant, unfunny middle aged men who think they’re hilarious. We do not need to plump up egos in the hope we will be chosen as a mate. We do not need a mate, we need you to take your bullshit out of our vicinity and to not waste our time having to explain how inappropriate/wrong/selfish/rude you are.

Throw off the shackles and revel in your wisdom!

Those stables have been grown off for millennia - and we’ve been burned at the stake fif ut. I suggest you read ‘Hags’

F him and his wife. I would probably say so too.

That man is a bully, and bullies are always very sensitive to being upbraided on their own bad behaviour. Good for you, @Guttyyyyyyyyy for standing up to him. His wife in a knob.

So not only does he just make rude comments only to women but he can’t fight his own battles and gets his wife to fight them for him!

Unbelievable 😤

I bloody hate misogynistic behaviour as displayed by women. WTF has it got to do with Wifey anyway?! She’s the sort that, if her grotesque bore of a husband were to cheat, would come out guns blazing for the “other woman”. She’d say that the OW lured him away with her wiles, the poor man. Pathetic.

Quite right.
Like fuck would they be different.
She'd have her arse handed to her.

'She's very nervous about walking the dog on her own'.
Not so nervous about challenging a woman who's been bothered by her husband whilst hiding behind a screen, though....

He absolutely deserved it. You must have the patience of a saint to have waited so long.

I would WhatsApp back he has upset me for the last two years with his pathetic non joke. Perhaps he needs to think about how he engages with people

Exactly, its like you've met him!
Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

Yep, absolutely you were restrained.

Fucking hell. Not just a bully, then, but a racist bully.

Yup.
Tedious racist misogynistic bullying dickhead.

@Guttyyyyyyyyy

This. 100%. You say your DH agrees with you about giving this idiot both barrels, you don't know what he's said to the idiot (who sounds like a misogynist) and other members of the group, when you are at work.