AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

he deserved it and well done to you. Very much doubt he would speak to another man the way he spoke to you. Glad you put the idiot in his place and as for his wife, well words fail me.

After two years? She is a bloody saint in my book.I don´t think I would´ve made it past the first one.

I don’t know, but I’m hoping it was a real savaging that might make him think twice about his daily witticisms in future.

My GP is a Menopausal specialist and she calls Estrogen the peace keeping hormone.

When our Estrogen goes our Testosterone surges, hence the Fxxk you attitude that proliferates.

What a huge pity it arrives so late in our lives.

If he carried on like what??

That’s a really misogynistic comment. If by ‘carrying on like that’ you mean OP standing up for herself and putting him in his place, l don’t think the responses would be different if the sexes were reversed. Because I think most people here are intelligent enough to recognise that both sexes are more than capable of making snide, passive aggressive misogynistic/misandrist comments and would agree that they should be called out wherever and whenever. The fact is that the majority of this kind of bullshit is directed at women, by misogynistic men who are not equipped to accept women as equals and feel threatened. That’s not for women to fix - or be apologists for.

She's put up with it for two fucking years and she finally says something and somehow she's still the one in the wrong!

Two fucking years.
Jesus.
Woman know your place indeed.

To be fair, I don’t think OP has laughed it along here, I think she has ignored it or tried to correct him (explaining she works).

The man has carried on with his joke (funny only to him) so OP has set him straight.

Also, I think most people corrected like this would have apologised on the spot. But he is acting like the wronged party and got his wife involved on the WhatsApp group.

Thats my interpretation.

Absolutely go back to her and tell her you’re sick of hearing the same broken record, but it’s up to her if she’s ok with it.

Well, of course they would, because if a woman had been making sexist digs at a man for two years and then came on to complain that she'd got an earful back, the replies would be 'surprised it didn't happen sooner, you were wrong'. That's not some kind of sexism as you seem to be insinuating. It's that the person obviously being a dick will generally be told on AIBU that they're being a dick.

Menopausal rage can be a useful thing! This guy (who is married) was trying to get your attention and has been doing so for two years. So he's upset and told his wife? Tough shit.

Guy I see at the gym had similar “banter”. He loudly demanded to know why he’s not seen you at the gym for a while (probably because people try to avoid him) and it was constant. Every. Single. Time. So it was very irritating but there are times when people haven’t been able to go because they’ve been ill or injured or had something come up in their lives and that’s when being made to feel as if you have to publicly explain yourself became very awkward. No, his wife knows exactly what he’s like, so she’s no better.

Well done. Be Kind, my hairy arse.

That is a friend ❤️

She hasn't laughed it off, she's ignored it, to NT people that's an obvious rejection of his remarks. The op has lost her temper after two years of her communicating to him (non-verbally) that he is being inappropriate. He has reacted by using his wife to try and shame the op this implies he is a bully and not just someone who has been a bit clueless.

He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.

Oh, boo hoo for him! He’s only upset because he’s now got to consider that he’s the arsehole here. Why doesn’t he care that you were upset by his thoughtless comments?

I have very little in the way for patience for this kind of thing, far less now after my menopause calibration.

He sounds repugnant. He deserved everything he got. Respect one way is contempt. I'm all about matching energy now.

My FIL laughed because I ordered a diet drink, the joke being I've put a bit of weight on. It was at dinner for my OHs big birthday. I think half the time it's done so publicly so a fuss isn't made. MIL didn't say anything at the time and in fact joined in laughing. She text afterwards to let me know how upset FIL was. I am not putting up with that shit. I wouldn't sit by and have it said to others. It's only funny if everyone is in on the joke.

I don't tend to start things, you eff about (and be unkind) and you will find out.

Honestly, you weren’t unreasonable at all.
Two years of snide comments is more than enough patience. You’ve explained before, and he chose not to listen.
People forget that just because someone isn’t visible at 9am doesn’t mean they’re not working incredibly hard behind the scenes.
You had a rough day, and he pushed one time too many. He got a reality check .....that’s on him, not you.

I wouldn't even reply to the text from his wife tbh !

He deserved it. He’s obviously one of these blokes who think they are SO hilarious and witty, that his every utterance is worthy of constant repetition. I know a couple of blokes like that on the periphery of our family, and I avoid them like the plague, feeling absolutely no remorse, I suspect I’m not even polite about it anymore, but quite frankly, I don’t care.

He definitely deserved it. You could message his wife back and suggest that in future, she puts a muzzle on him before goes out in public.

Well, or a gag?

This. Say it’s been going on for two years and you’ve had enough. Clear. Firm. Do it. You deserve to be heard. He’s an arse.

YANBU. In fact you have been more than reasonable. Well said. 👏

It's interesting how the misogynistic dickhead only targets women for his brainless derogatory mocking yet when faced down by one of his victims he wimps out from his Billy Big Balls bullshit. His oh so manly reaction is to go squealing like a stuck pig and hiding behind his limp-dick worshipping handmaiden of a wife.

His reaction just shows what pathetic cowards these misogynistic grunts are in reality. They are inadequate failures who resent women and can only feel important by making women feel uncomfortable in their vicinity with their tedious put-downs. They hate humiliation especially when delivered from one of their targets. And to have your (male) friend back you up will add salt to this dickhead's well deserved wound. It might shut up his stupid wife and give her an insight into what people (male and female) actually think about her fuckwitted husband.

Hopefully Mr and Mrs Prat-brains will learn women don't have to and will not accept sexist bullshit from pathetic bawbags.

I have just re read the opening post.. she says she has told him she works. .. so she has not simply nodded and smiled.. she has corrected his incorrect assumptions and he has willfully carried on making these belittling comments.

If rainbows were fish and trees were elephants the replies would be very different. But they’re not, are they, so what’s your point?