AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

Another group member has just told me that the reason she hasn't been for weeks is that he kept asking her if her sis in law was a ladyboy because the sis in law is from the Phillipines.
He is just a twat.

A racist twat.

What kind of a person would marry him?

OP doesn't suggest she laughed it off, though, does she? She says she has been either ignoring him or replying to say she had been at work. You have to be pretty exceptionally thick-skinned not to pick up from that that, at the very least, she isn't finding it funny, and that repeatedly accusing someone who has in fact been at work of being lazy is really quite rude. It really shouldn't have been any surprise, and if it was, perhaps he needs to have a think about who else he may have been offending, and why he has been only doing this to women.

My thoughts exactly!

I work in a well known, huge retailer (huge as in worldwide, and its dimensions too..i easily walk 10-20 miles per shift)
The escalator going up into the main part of store has stairs next to it.
An elderly male customer was racing up the stairs while I was on the escalator and smugly informed me this is exactly why I'm overweight (I have a very painful medical condition as well as a hormonal disease, which causes this) I informed him I'd already been on my feet ten hours straight and he'd better stay away from me as I didn't want to lose my job by saying more....

Yep, his arsesoul mate !!

Here's the thing: speaking to women is not some big mystery; it's just like speaking to men. And if you're not sure what to say to an acquaintance, whatever their sex, the obvious thing is to ask them how they are or how their day was or something. That would have given the OP the opportunity to say a little bit about her job and how it had been tough, which (one hopes) would have helped him to see that he should not make stupid comments about her being lazy and sending her DP out.
And screw apologising, frankly. He's a grown adult; if he really doesn't know about small talk by now, that’s on him.

This looks like an opportune time to suggest that this guy would be better off finding a new dog walking group … he was bad enough with your experience but what your friend told you makes him even worse!

I know! They need to add it back, plus an "I´m horrified" one.

No. He thinks this man is an arsehole and always has done.
And I know what DH has said .

You should absolutely put this in the chat (if your friend is happy for you to do so). It would not surprise me if more women started sharing some of the other comments he will have no doubt made to them over the years. Bullies, racists and misogynists need to be called out.

Agreed.

Exactly.

And here’s another tip for men ‘unsure’ about talking to women — if you wouldn’t say it to a man, don’t say it to a woman. If you wouldn’t tell Big Jim with the Rottweiler to ‘Give us a smile, love”, then don’t say it to Angela with the Shihtzu.

It’s really not that difficult.

This thread has perked up my morning. Love a dickhead getting his arse handed to him. Fully agree it’s time for him to find a new group.

So rather than feeling awkward and as though you owe him an explanation of every bit of the minutiae in your lives, the correct response is ‘mind your own business’. On repeat. Every time.

The infantilising of grown men is astounding isn’t it? The poor ikkle blokes just don’t know what to do for the best these days…my rule of thumb is if you’re not sure then keep your trap shut.

Racist as well as a male chauvinist. I think he should be asked to leave the group.

Sorry but I wouldn’t be hiding away because of this racist prick. Hopefully she’ll take a tip from you and give him both barrels of her own next time he does it. You’re a star !!

A tedious, racist bully who gets his wife to fight for him when he has been called out 😂

YANBU I’m a midwife and you soon get sick of the stupid comments like that especially when they’re so relentless after a bad shift. Good I’m glad you upset him! Maybe he’ll think before he says something stupid next time!

fuuuuuuuck me!!! he's obnoxious

She sounds like a really pathetic basic bitch.

Jesus, he sounds vile. I'd be putting #dontbeacunt in that chat.

Oh please, what a load of bullshit 🙄
I'm pretty sure the op knows her husband and what he's like. The further posts from the OP show even more so that the man is a misogynistic, racist, dickhead!

But of course some people just like to blame the OP.

Some of us know our DHs very well and the character of the men we’ve married, which is why we chose them.

Project about your own DH and choices, but OP has already confirmed that her DH would not speak about her like that, I’d think she was best placed to know.