AIBU- pulling someone up on snarky comments.

[Guttyyyyyyyyy]

So I work and DH is retired. We have a dog. I work 4 days a week . On the days I work DH walks the dog in the morning and I walk it in the evening. My days off we swap it around.
There is a group of dog walkers that meet in the morning. One man thinks its hilarious to ask if Ive enjoyed my sleep in/ lazy day/ sending DH out while I relax ect.
every single time I see him. 2 years of me just ignoring him / saying I work ect.
I work in a unit that deals with palliative care. Yesterday was a bloody hard day.
So this morning he said it must be nice to laze about on a Sunday and send DH out so I let him have it with both barrels - told him ( in rough terms) what my day consisted of. That I was up and out by 6am. Long drive. The realities of my job.
He was silent. Got home and his wife has watsapped to say Ive upset him !@@.
AIBU to think he deserves it.

She has tried to politely stop this twat commenting on her ‘laziness’, @ClearHoldBuild - he has ignored her. That’s why she finally had enough today, and told him exactly what she spends her day doing, to finally shut him up.

Eh?
I had no idea about his ladyboy comment until told today.
Nice to see the way some posters will twist the fabric of time and space in order to make an op the villan.

only for two years you say?

I’m not trying to make you a villain. My first comment and the one prior to this one now I have explained my reasoning for thinking YABU. You have asked for opinions. I’m not asking you to agree with me, I understand that I am the minority. I don’t condone his behaviour I just think what he said didn’t warrant both barrels. Time to leave this thread. Going to watch the last episode of Mobland now, enjoy the rest of your evening.

Yes, you are. As well as not being able to actually read what the OP wrote regarding the racist comments (aka she only found out about them after she spoke up to this twat), you have used these words about her:

he gets both barrels
you have just exploded
All seems a bit nasty to me

But she didn’t challenge him on his misogynistic or racist views, nor in solidarity with their fellow dog walker who did vote with their feet.

And you have called OP, in your response to another poster:

Hardly the decent person that you refer to.

OMG the argumentative brigade are digging in deep. If you people have ever been on a dog walking group, you know that these people are not necessarily “friends”, but acquaintances. The comment about the “ladyboy” was shared as a way of empathetically letting OP know that she is not his sole target. It sounds like the doggy walkers collectively dislike AF and are now sharing stories that they previously felt were isolated.
OP your DH and male buddy sound fabulous.

But who else told the guy and the other dog walkers about your set up? I see lots of lone dog walkers in a morning when I walk the dog and don’t give a thought as to where their partner is, or why they aren’t also on the walk. I suspect maybe he was chatting to your dh, who volunteered the info that you’re at home having sent him out to walk the dog, otherwise why would he know so much about the ins and outs of your day?

He sounds like a cunt

OP has said she has mentioned it a couple of times to her DH. Not every time it has happened.

He doesn't know. That's the point.

If you read the OP you will see that she is in fact at work when her partner takes the dog.

The man making snarky comments ignores that she has told him this each time and has continued to suggest that she's having a lie in every time he speaks to her.

Pretty maddening. Don't you think?

Unable to take her information and running with a completely different scenario.

I bet most women can think of a similar thing

I worked in a pub and was badly assaulted on a night out for no reason (mistaken identity)
After recovering I was still bruised but back working in the pub
A regular started with “oh been fighting have we HA HA HA” so I told him no I was assaulted
he continued to bring it up every single night loudly to other people “oh she’s always fighting this one, got to watch out for her HA HA she will be punching you next”

eventually I snapped and asked him if he found a woman being assaulted funny or was he just a prick? My manager backed me up but one of the other regulars told me I had upset him
I was “me?! Upset HIM?! I’ve got a fucking broken cheekbone”

Be kind can fuck right off , two years of hearing his inane crap.
Well done on setting him straight.👍

Some men after a certain age, and in the absence of any corroborating evidence, seem to think they are now great wits and they should share their thoughts with random women while chuckling away. These thoughts usually involve mocking women for going about their ordinary business - it's a senior version of work "banter". And his wife saying he was upset - well that's on him for repeating a non-funny denigrating comment for two years which you have refuted, rather than laughing along, for two years. He should treat this as a valuable opportunity for reflection on his behaviour. Thankfully, it has not (yet) affected my husband. I certainly wouldn't be making excuses for him if it did.

It’s hilarious that he went crying to his wife telling tales of how his feelings were hurt by this awful (nasty) woman and got her to stand up for him 😂

I hope you put ‘I wholeheartedly agree!’

I would also tell the wife about her husband's lady boy comments since she thinks he's so amazing. Then post #Don'tberacist

She’s actually been very tolerant, for two fucking years. Did you miss that bit?

I couldn't have coped with 2 years of that but I'm confrontational fucker. Good for you for putting him in his place, hopefully you won't see him again.

I don’t think l’ve ever seen an MN poster so completely miss the point.

No-one told him anything. That’s the point. He doesn’t know the ins and outs of her day - he’s decided for himself that on the days her DH walks the dog, OP is at home lazing in bed and keeps confronting the OP with his little ‘joke’. Why would her DH tell this man something that wasn’t true - on the days he walks their dog OP has left for work at 6am.

But you are talking about OP - this comment was directed at her. It’s beyond me why posters think OP should let her DH fight her battles for her - or why he would want to. The comments aren’t made to him, they’re made to OP - who is clearly quite capable of shutting it down.

Enjoy your wonderful peaceful dog walk this morning OP - I bet there will be lots of others who are really happy that AF has left. Go you!

I am just here for the updates really. It seems that men like this nearly always have a wife who enables their crappy behaviour and leaps in to defend their ridiculous fragile egos. They're happy to make ignorant digs at women but need to go crying to their enabling wife to sort things out for them if they're ever challenged. Pathetic.

What a way to have spent your day off!

By 8am you’d already walked the dog, raging, been back and forth with AF’s wife, started a mumsnet thread… and then spent the day posting on mumsnet arguing with some posters or updating the thread with updates and also the situation was now being discussed on the dog walking group!

Enjoy your dog walk today
and enjoy your day off!

Also with an odd obsession with "barrels".

She seems convinced OP calmly speaking up and informing said twat of some pertinent facts was "letting him have it with both barrels".