I hate these comments that are framed as innocent “banter” but are just ways to put you down or make you feel uncomfortable,
It’s usually men who are unimaginative and have very little to add to a conversation so just recycle the same annoying phrases.
I worked in an office that was open to the public, I didn’t get an official break but it went quiet at a similar time later in the day so I’d get to have something to eat at my desk. I usually brought something I’d made at home and heated it up, I worked long hours and as I wouldn’t get a chance to eat again I tried to eat a decent filling meal.
A man who was a total clown often popped in the office for something (related to my job) and it was at a similar time every day, occasionally his wife was with him as she worked in the office next to mine. This man often came in just as I was going to eat my meal and made the same “jokes” every time. It was usually things like “every time I come in you are stuffing your face” or “are you going to eat ALL THAT” or other similar comments relating to me eating.
He would also ask what my meal was and comment on it, he then tut and say “naughty naughty” or mention calories, he was worse when his wife was with him and played up to it more.
I have a long history of eating disorders and wasn’t overweight, I never engaged with his comments and changed the subject. I would politely tell him what I was eating when asked but didn’t reply or laugh at his other comments. It will have been very obvious I was uncomfortable and if I didn’t respond to his “jokes” he would repeat them.
I started to dread him coming in and sometimes avoided eating anything that day, I tried to eat my dinner at different times but was usually too busy and would heat it up but was unable to find the time to eat it.
I resented this man so much and the impact his remarks were having, one day he came in with his wife made his unfunny observations “oh hey up I thought you might be eating AGAIN” and I lost my temper.
I told his man he wasn’t funny and it was rude to comment on people eating, I called him bad mannered and judgy and said to his wife I didn’t know how she put up with him!
He of course acted like I’d massively offended him and said I was overreacting and being hysterical, he then asked if it was “my time of the month”.
His wife finally spoke up and said he wasn’t funny and told him to apologise, he refused as he kept saying he was joking and said we had no sense of humour.
He complained about me to my boss who backed me up and said said the comments were obviously mocking and it was no surprise I’d finally retaliated. The prick didn’t return after being put in his place so I wish I’d called him out sooner instead of having months of misery.
I think you did the right thing OP for calling the dog walker out, he needed to learn that a joke is only funny if both people are laughing.
You do a very difficult job and the accusations of laziness were untrue and unjustified. Your response to his wife was perfect and I hope he shows you more respect in future. Ignore the comments that insinuate your DH went along with the “jokes” I think you know your husband well enough to know if he would encourage this nonsense or not!