Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH wants to trim my hedge

142 replies

FridayNeverHesitate · 01/06/2025 21:15

We live on a quiet country lane, with a field and a pond on the other side of the lane. Our house has a small front garden (three or four metres long) and a hornbeam hedge (which is about 160 cm tall) between us and the lane. Our kitchen looks out onto the front garden.

DH is keen to halve the height of the hedge, the better to enjoy the view of the field and the pond. I would like to keep it at its current height, partly because I think a taller hedge is better for wildlife, but also because I think it provides more privacy. DH isn't especially interested in wildlife, and argues that as it's a quiet road, we don't require privacy from the hedge. However, I WFH in the kitchen and I think there's quite a few passers-by. There is one house further down the lane, so they walk past; their cleaner passes our house; delivery drivers (they get a lot of deliveries). Then there's the postman, and quite a lot of random walkers and cyclists.

DH can enjoy the view from his study, which is above the kitchen and has a clear view of the field and pond. I want to enjoy privacy in the kitchen, which is effectively my study and where I spend most of my time. He claims it's a family room so he deserves a say in the view too, but in reality he spends very little time in the kitchen (only really making tea and eating supper).

OP posts:
NewLimeBird · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yanbu. Dh has some nerve taking a whole room for himself and deciding what he gets to do with the room you're left with!

When you say making tea, do you mean your evening meal or actual tea? Because if you're also doing the cooking he's really taking the piss.

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

kary42 · 01/06/2025 21:20

Tell him he can cut the hedge if he is prepared to swap his study with you for the kitchen.

Wanderdust · 01/06/2025 21:22

So sorry but the title made me giggle like a teenage boy.

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 01/06/2025 21:23

Well this is not the thread I thought it was!

KarmenPQZ · 01/06/2025 21:23

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

Yes. I was here for a while different kind of thread!!

I mean it grows beck tho right. Can you cut it and see how you like it this year?

Orangebadger · 01/06/2025 21:24

the title had me intrigued!

smartarsey · 01/06/2025 21:25

Title very misleading 🤦‍♀️

ReplacementBusService · 01/06/2025 21:25

Another vote here for thinking the title was going to be a euphemism 😂

Stick to your guns and keep your bush how you want it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/06/2025 21:29

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 01/06/2025 21:18

Yabu for the interesting title and less interesting thread! 😭

NGL my mind went in the gutter 🤣

TheKeatingFive · 01/06/2025 21:30

I thought this was going to be about something else 😭

BIossomtoes · 01/06/2025 21:31

KarmenPQZ · 01/06/2025 21:23

Yes. I was here for a while different kind of thread!!

I mean it grows beck tho right. Can you cut it and see how you like it this year?

Sounds sensible.

My mind too was in the gutter!

Kangarude · 01/06/2025 21:31

Looks like I was not the only who was surprised that it was an actual hedge 😂

BlossomIsSoPretty · 01/06/2025 21:32

Surely it would have been funnier to put bush not hedge...

MummaMummaMumma · 01/06/2025 21:33

Glad I am not the only one with a dirty mind 🤣

CatAsstrophe · 01/06/2025 21:35

I thought it would be about a hedge 😁I'm autistic, that's my excuse for literal thinking.

@FridayNeverHesitate tell your DH to bugger off. You're the primary user of the kitchen, so you get the final say - by my rules anyway!

itsgettingweird · 01/06/2025 21:35

I’m glad I’m not the only one expecting a completely different AIBU 🫣😂

As for the actual hedge! Why does he have a study and you WFH from the kitchen?

But I think you’re right about privacy whilst you’re WFH.

Is there any compromise on knocking 30cm off?

Gingercar · 01/06/2025 21:36

My husband and i squabble over whether to cut our hedge or not. He likes the privacy, I like the view and think the kitchen is dark when it’s high. I think part of it for my husband is that he ends up cutting it!

We’re moving soon, so it won’t be an issue.

parietal · 01/06/2025 21:39

cut a window in the hedge so he gets a view but the rest of the hedge is high. and then let it grow back to higher next year.

WorkCleanRepeat · 01/06/2025 21:40

kary42 · 01/06/2025 21:20

Tell him he can cut the hedge if he is prepared to swap his study with you for the kitchen.

This! If he wants to cut the hedge he works from the kitchen.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 01/06/2025 21:41

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 01/06/2025 21:23

Well this is not the thread I thought it was!

Not just me then. I thought it would be about the lady garden 😆

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/06/2025 21:45

YANBU if you're the one who uses the room most and want privacy, and he still gets the view from the floor above, then you should absolutely insist it stays as is. At most I would allow would be 10cm in height down but that would be it. I wouldn't want eyes looking in at my unwashed dishes or watching me at the kitchen sink, or eating at the table. He can bugger off.

Trovindia · 01/06/2025 21:45

kary42 · 01/06/2025 21:20

Tell him he can cut the hedge if he is prepared to swap his study with you for the kitchen.

This would be my suggestion too.

Ddakji · 01/06/2025 21:47

Excellent thread title.

Don’t really care about your hornbeam hedge but probably YANBU.

Indianajet · 01/06/2025 21:48

I don't think hedges should be cut at this time of year, due to birds nesting?

Swipe left for the next trending thread