To not sit in the back so kids can sit in the front?

[Threedoa]

Disagreement with DH tonight. So would you sit in the back so your kids (say under 18, as I can maybe see the argument for over 18) can sit in the front of the car?

YABU - Yes, it’s normal to take turns for who sits in the front passenger seat
YANBU - No, adults in the front, children in the back.

Turns for what reason? Why do they even need turns? So you’re saying either you or your hubby always sit in the back so you never get to sit with each other in the front like couples normally do? What age are your kids that they can’t just sit in the back together? Is it a case that they hate each other and need to avoid being in the same touching space or is it you and your DH just wanna avoid sitting together? Genuinely intrigued by why any kids need to “take turns” can’t they just do that when only one adult is in the car

Totally agree, you can just tell from the comments who’s kids are in control of their parents and they’re in total denial 😂 Most countries the legal age is maybe 12+ or round 150cm I think it is too. If there’s 1 adult in the car that’s different but an adult, especially a parent, sitting in the back to allow their self entitled kid sit in the front is just ridiculous

Adults get the front seat unless it’s just one parent/adult in the car with the kids (say, for a school drop-off) - then MAYBE the kids could sit in the front seat. (IIRC it may still be safer for them in the back seat up to a certain age/weight/size!)

“Taking turns” is a nonsense reason. What your DH said about you was completely out of line and cruel, as well.

@coupebaby you don't have to be "self-entitled" to ask nicely if you can swap with someone to sit in the back.

If sitting in the back wasn't such a big deal (less comfortable, worse view, less control over the temperature, in our car no heated seats etc) then holding on to the front wouldn't be such a massive deal either!

Surely, if they are of an age to sit in the front and able safety-wise to do so, and it isn't an expectation or habit but asked for politely on a special occasion why on earth not??? I spent years in the back of a car in the 90s with tiny windows being taken for 'drives' where I couldn't see a bloody thing but was expected to look out the window and not read because I'd 'miss it'. If I'd been offered the front seat for one of these, I would have appreciated the empathy.

We buy the cars. We choose where we sit (in the front). The end!

I put my foot down over this a while ago- the kids were fighting over who’d sit in the front while I was there- like I’d somehow been cast back to the back. I said ‘parents in front, kids in the back’. If there’s only threee of us and someone wants to discuss something extremely with dh (eg big exams that day) then fine, otherwise where does it stop?!

We alternate, since DH was 5 or so. He was never a big talker and tends to drift into silence for hours in the car. I am the driver and the talker, so I insisted he gets his share of the views from the front and that makes it easier for me to have him talk a bit and enjoy the trip more.
It works for us.
In general, I always regarded insistence from adults to be in the front no matter what as a bit juvenile, a leftover attitude from their teenager years, but that's just me I guess.

@Puddypuds but before they leave home, you literally buy everything. Every holiday, every meal, every cinema ticket, every day out. Sometimes, surely, on occasion, when asked politely and it isn't an expectation and they are grateful, you relegate your own desires to do what would make your children happy?

I always sit in the front except when our (adult) daughter visits, then she has the front seat because she gets carsick when she sits in the back. So then I sit in the back squished between my two grandbabies in their carseats. They love it 🤦🏼‍♀️

If no travel sickness issues then I'd definitely go for kids in the back adults in the front. If you start with the kids in front thing, then you'll be setting yourselves up for a load of arguments between the kids over who is sitting in front!
I wouldn't want to br the adult stuck in the back!
YANBU

Adults in front (as we own the car!) and kids in back. If only one of us they can go in front though.

My dh often sits in the back as my dd gets car sick. Personally I don’t care where I sit in a car.

Once the kids were teenagers, we mixed it up., especially as they are all tall. I do most of the driving when we’re out as a family. Sometimes DP would sit in the back and the teens would take it in turns to go in the front. But if DP was driving I would sit in the front, rarely in the back.

Is this even a question, who are the parents here. No wonder the world is going to pots, people are actually asking or adults debating if their child should sit in the back or not blimey

I think it should be standard adults in the front, children in the back unless someone suffers from travel sickness or if it's a long journey, kids arguing etc. then switch it up.

Having said that, my parents travel with my DS in the front and he's got so used to it that my mum and I just jump in the back if we are sharing a car. Pick your battles sort of thing.

Good lord, no. I sit in the front. My sons are young adults now and with the exception of one who is very tall and the back is uncomfortable, they all sit in the back if I am in the car. My DH sits in the back if one of my sons is driving.

DH responded ‘mummy isn’t as kind as other peoples mum’

I would have lost my shit at this point

If we’re going somewhere as a whole family the yeah the kids are always in the back but it’s purely for practicality - we have 6 kids so the arguments could be never ending, I’m not faffing about with car seats for the younger ones and it useful to have the other adult beside you for directions or discussing where to stop and things like that

I’ve crammed a 6’4” person into the back of a Vauxhall Adam.

Wow!!
Does your husband try to make you out to be the bad parent often? This is very gaslighty

I get travel sickness in the back… still always travelled in the back as a child.. just carried a bucket! Parent up front always

It is safer for the children to be in the back. The front passenger seat is the most dangerous place to sit. Think on that.

@Lockdownsceptic interestingly, I'm not sure if this is still true. A study from 2008 said that the middle back seat was safer but some more recent articles seem to suggest that it might now depend more on the seatbelt technology too. And, of course, all of it depends on where the car is impacted! I was brought up being told that it was safer though so it is entrenched in me. A child that is too small for the airbag will still be adversely affected but if we are talking about teens, maybe the picture is a bit more blurry?

https://hrflegal.com/the-most-dangerous-seats-during-a-car-accident/

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/12/business/seatbelts-back-seat-safety.html