Partner has wet the bed…

[WFHbore2023]

41 year old healthy man, never happened before, completely sober. Obviously this is concerning (and my main concern) and he will contact his doctor.

woke me up this morning saying that we need to get up and change the bed, obviously not ideal but he’s embarrassed so I just crack on. He helps me strip the bed and then goes off to shower.

I’m working today, he’s taken the children out for the day, and so I have been left with a superking duvet to wash and dry, along with mattress topper, protector, sheets and any other bedding.

AIBU to be pretty pissed off that he’s just cracked on with his day without so much as a conversation over whether or not I was ok to sort everything out this end?

You clearly live a very easy and privileged life, being waited on by servants, if you have never switched on a washing machine. (If you are indeed an adult). Which is great for you. But for many people in the real world, these kind of issues around equality are important, and can be complicated.

I’m mortified.

If you've never done a laundry load in your life, perhaps you need a schooling in terms of what real life looks like. Then you'll know what real problems are.

You still don't get the point of this thread, do you?

I'm sorry your life is so hard, so hard you come here and tear other apart. I'll keep you in the payers that I dont make.

This thread has gone absolutely insane.

my aibu was about being miffed about the lack of conversation over the clean up, along with the assumption that I would just do it.

now, here in the real world, I’ve told my partner that I feel like him asking if I was ok to do it would have been the more respectful thing to do, and whilst the fact that he just didn’t think isn’t great (not massively impressed with being the default in this exact situation), he’s apologised and it’s all been put to (my freshly cleaned) bed.
meanwhile, on here, I’ve been called a bitch, a bloody idiot, a ball buster, told I don’t like him much, been told that he clearly pissed the bed on purpose to cover up a wet dream he had about someone else as I’m obviously a huge prude, it’s been said that I will ‘wipe him out and be left in a care home talking to myself’ and so on.

if there were more sensible posts about it not being a huge deal that it was expected of me, I’d probably take it all onboard.
as it stands, they are all either comparisons of being incapacitated which wasn’t the case here, or absolutely bat shit crazy posts doing nothing but insult, exaggerate and full of out and out lies.

this post has absolutely shown me why mn can have such a bad rep.

Is he usually very helpful around the house? Is he usually very switched on about what needs doing and getting on and doing it?

I think you all missed the part where the OP says this is the first time it has happened.

You also missed the part where the OP says there is other underlying resentment.

I think you also missed the part where I said this is not about a load of washing. Nobody comes on here to vent to this extent about a single incident.

Just because I don’t do my own washing does it mean I don’t have real problems. You know nothing about me. My privilege actually puts me in touch with more real world problems that you can even fathom.

You can't do washing but you can certainly tell a good tale...

Youll never know will you?

I’m with you on this. I don’t understand why you’re getting so much flak.

If I wet the bed, yes I’d be mortified but even more so if my husband or someone else cleaned it.

Did he even think for a second what would happen at bed time that night? No duvet or sheets etc?

I’d be annoyed that this task has fallen on me too. I hope he apologised to you and at least showed some remorse.

I also said I don’t do washing. Not that I can’t do washing. I’m pretty confident that I could operate a washing machine if I needed to…. I mean your useless lazy husbands are expected to so I’m sure I would manage.

Oh yes, of course. I'm sure your in privilege puts you in touch more with real world problems 😅 imagine having the facility to have someone do your washing for you, for the entirety of your life, and then shitting all over someone that has to clean up over a fully gown man?

Either 'it's a load of washing and to get over it', or 'leave first time this happens'. It's weird. Which is it?

Please let us know upon ever message which personally we're speaking too, because your replies are an absolute mess.

I'm actually baffled by some of the replies. I've seen posts on here from women who's partners/husbands have pissed or shit the bed and almost every reply is hoping she made sure he cleaned up his own mess, along with the odd LTB thrown in.
Of course making sure he is OK is the first thing to care about, and I wouldn't mind being the one who washed the bedding providing it wasn't just assumed. But my partner wouldn't expect me to be touching and washing items he'd peed on

You are obviously not familiar with sarcasm.

Op. Please don't take this the wrong way. I know it will come across as rude but please don't dramatise doing some washing. You have to wash all these items every week anyway so it got done today. The machine does the work ..

How is your flight? Are you going on holiday somewhere nice?

Oh yes, of course. I'm sure your in privilege puts you in touch more with real world problems 😅 imagine having the facility to have someone do your washing for you, for the entirety of your life, and then shitting all over someone that has to clean up over a fully gown man?

you have no idea who or what my privilege has put me in touch with. I am not about to reveal or discuss this much further because this audience would simply not understand. But let me just say that washing up after your husband ONCE is not that big of a deal relatively speaking.

Not really. Going to visit my sister in the UK who has just lost her husband to bowel cancer.

But yet ditch him after the first time, as per you previous posts..?!

Condolence for your loss.

I don’t have a tumble dryer. For me, doing four loads of washing during my working day would be a huge extra task. Actually, it would be a pain on a nonworking day too. My husband and I would never leave that for each other without some acknowledgement. Though we share all tasks so it would not be an issue anyway.

Like I said. You’re obviously not familiar with sarcasm.
I am mocking the myriad of women who are so quick to declare the OPs husband a useless lazy disrespectful human without much context other than this is the first time he has wet the bed.

Sorry to hear that, sounds very different to your original plans of spending the afternoon and evening laughing and joking with your family. Must be tough.

Can’t remember saying that I was going to spend the afternoon laughing and joking with my family. I could be wrong because I have been intentionally obtuse and sarcastic to get some sort of perspective here about a single bed wetting incident. But I don’t think that was me.

You know, you can find much better thanks to do with your time than lying and trolling. You could have a life, if you wanted to.

Best of luck baby girl.