Neighbour having an affair - do I report my suspicions?

[AmzJS]

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

If she's shagging this mystery man she's leaving your fella alone op, be careful not to poke the bear too much or this harlot could set her sights on your man.

I'm a widow. Some of the neighbours appeared to think that I'd found a new man.

Evidence: being picked up at night by a 'strange man'. Dressing up and wearing a bit of make-up when I usually go about in tatty jeans, etc. (Sometimes chatting in the car before I go in.)

My cousin's been driving me to a regular Friday evening church service. After the service, we have tea and biscuits in the hall.

Good God, this is twitching curtains on steroids. You have no idea what's going on, you have no proof, these people's lives are none of your business. Go join Neighbourhood Watch if you want to police everyone on your street. Can't believe you're considering this. Mind your own business!

Are you the morality police? Or just enthusiastic amateurs.

So you want to blow up this woman's marriage when you don't actually have a clue what she is up too.
Not to mention its none of your business.

@AmzJS i think the only time you should get involved in a neighbours business is suspected harm to a child or pet and of course if you are aware of a potentially life threatening altercation between the adults. Only that is ‘morally’ justified. Who knows what’s going on with the female partner. Who knows if she goes out dancing or to quiz night at pub innocently and meets up there with her GFs. And also sometimes people do sit in cars nattering for ages it wouldn’t mean an affair necessarily. Who knows if her DH doesn’t like make up or take her himself to the types places she’s going so she thinks feck it I’m getting dressed up lol.

I could go on but you get the picture! Lol on the plus side you’re going to be elite Neighbourhood Watch members when you retire! 😁

My gosh, get a life! Stop curtain twitching at your neighbours you have no idea what’s going on and it’s insanely odd that you’d even consider saying anything!!!!

In what fucking realm is this ever your business? Curtain twitch til they drop off the rail, sure, but actually ruining a pair of strangers lives for what? Do you think you're gonna get a medal or summat? Wow.

Not your circus and not your monkeys.
You are not the morality police and its got nothing to do with you.

I very much doubt if she’s up to no good she’d be picked up from outside her own home.

Can’t believe you’re soooo nosey.

You’re not in their marriage leave it. Imagine the awkwardness if you mentioning it to find out their happily in an open relationship. You know nothing more than suspicions

I actually feel this is verging on the sincerely unbelievable- surely nobody can be this blind to the potential damage they might cause with such careless speculation?

Babes, I HATE cheaters. I have zero tolerance for such twattishness.

But this?

You have NOTHING.

It's not a crime for a woman to wear a dress and make up or, GASP, leave the house while her husband is at work.

You don't even know if the person picking her up is a man, FFS!

If you're going to throw a grenade into someone's life at least have the decency to know what the fuck you're talking about.

Please get a grip.

Wow have you nothing better to worry about seriously now you need to get a life.

It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Think of the shit you could be unnecessarily stirring up. Keep out of it.

Call the Police! Inspector Clouseau is Back! But seriously, say nothing. Many years ago I used to get picked up by a man in a convertible sports car when I was doing a shift with the Samaritans. I may even have been wearing scent.

Haha, reminds me when I was in the throws of OLD and getting picked up/dropped off regularly, all dolled up. I was separated but co-living ,my DH knew about it/night out.
OP, don't interfere, you don't know the full story.
It's a bit different if it was a mate, then you might say something, subtle like.

So you aren't even 100% certain it's a male? Or even considered she was going somewhere nice which involved multiple people such as a pub quiz or choir ?

I hope if you tell him and blow the marriage apart for no real reason she gets to keep the house next to you... and makes fluttery eyes at your dh all day long. Karma would be lovely.

Report??? To the sex police? Stop your nonsense, you nosy goose.

It's probably not your business to tell, and you may have misinterpreted the situation.

On a related note: when my wife was having an affair, she was having her affair partner round to our house sometimes after I'd gone to work (in the morning.) I know that at least one of the neighbours knew exactly what was going on and, given the position of our house and those around it, other neighbours probably knew also. We don't live there any more but I can tell you that, for me, the thought that the neighbours knew and I didn't makes me feel incredibly humiliated. I imagine their pitying thoughts as I came home from work at 6pm, knackered.

This is just one of the many reasons that affairs are a brutal assault on the innocent party's mental health. Those of you reading this who are currently engaged in affairs: think about that.

None of your business.
My best friend is a man (I'm married btw).
He often picks me up and we go out to the theatre and/or he stays over after dinner.
Our relationship is absolutely purely platonic. In fact I'm also very good friends with his ex wife, who I've actually known longer.

You mind your own business for goodness sakes!

Christ you don’t even know it’s a man picking her up 😫

She could have decided that for a couple of nights a month as her partner works she’s going to go out and have dinner with a friend or take up ballroom dancing classes or have a regular drink with a colleague/family member/friend

Obviously even if it was an innocent hobby she would choose to pursue it on evenings her partner works so it doesn’t disrupt their time together over the rest of the month so it doesn’t have to mean its a secret!!

Hiw do you know?

So it might be a woman. And she might be a closet lesbian or just going out with a friend. Ok, you will need to invest in night goggles and sneak in to their appartment when they're out to wire it. Maybe hire a private detective while you're at it. Or just get Netflix.