Neighbour having an affair - do I report my suspicions?

[AmzJS]

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

Yeah go for it OP.

It will assure them to move and stay away from you. I say that as someone who has twice, been forced to tell close friends of adultery. And twice, having had it take a long time for them to recover. Luckily both, had been party to chat, would you want to know, in our younger years and nights out.

would I want to know?? Yes absolutely. If solid evidence.

would I want to know absolute nonsense, why not?

if this is even real.

Get a life

Why do you care? You barely know them. Even if it is an illicit affair, newsflash, it goes on all the time all around the world. Do you want to interfere in everyone's relationships or just people who happen to live next to you?!

Maybe her nice partner beats her black and blue every other night, and you accusing her of cheating when you have no actual evidence will put her life in danger.

No less credible than any of your fantasy fiction.

Mind your own business. You don't know anything.

Butt out.

Why are you spying on your neighbours? Whatever she's doing it's not as bad as snooping on strangers lives and trying to catch them out for supposed wrongdoings?

As we say here - keep your beak out of it !!!

The blindingly obvious answer is that she is going out somewhere on a regular basis that she likes to get dressed up for. Could be a pub quiz with mates, might be a hobby club, she might do pub singing, she might have a regular catch up with friends at a cocktail bar, bloody hell it's pointless and impossible to list all the options because they are ENDLESS as to why a woman might regularly get dressed up and go out! And it makes sense that possibly when her husband is home she may forgo a particular outing to spend time with him. OR, he might not let her.

You know NOTHING about this and could cause a HUGE amount of damage here, OP.

You have no idea where she is going, I thought you were going to say some fella comes round and you can hear them at it though the walls when her husband is on nights. Either way its none of your business so don't say anything.

And I may have missed it but who is driving the nice car. Male or female.

NOOOOOO!

We believe it’s a male, obviously when it was darker we couldn’t tell.

what if husband beats her up because he thinks she’s having an affair based on what you said? With no proof

Wtf. As others said you have no real proof. Imagine the crap you could cause to yourself and you got to live there for god knows how long.

Sod living next door to you

None of your business

Can you even see the driver of the car? Could be going for a drink with her sister for all you know.

Do you really want to blow up someone's marriage... and then have to keep living next to them? What do you think that would be like?

You don't really know what other people's marriages are like - or even other people, when you don't live with them. Lots of abusive husbands are considered "very nice" by the people who aren't married to them. He could be the one having an affair for all you know. Or he could be gay. And some people have open marriages. And so on. Stay out of it.

Ha, I was going to say they should follow them and see where they go and compile a dossier of evidence to give to the DH

You haven't a clue what she's doing snd it's none of your business.

It could my friend, she's the singer in a band and she's collected by the drummer a couple of nights a week!

I'd think a Netflix subscription or a new hobby might help you, op

If you knew them better and were absolutely certain? Yes, tell him. But you don't know them that well, and you don't actually know what she's doing. If you 'report your suspicions' you'll probably look like a ridiculous nosy neighbour, and things will be incredibly awkward with them forever.

If you can't just ignore it and stop tracking their movements, I'd suggest at least going about it more subtly. Happen to be passing by when she's coming or going, compliment her outfit, and hope she'll say where she's headed or what she's returning from. If that doesn't work, try harder to just let it go!

Maybe her H is an arse to her and she’s lining up his replacement -even if I don’t agree with that morally it really is not your business to speculate apart from between yourselves if you must.

“Report” like it’s a crime that you have a duty to do something about, rather than an opinion on behaviour 🤣 Report to who?

😂

I don't actually believe this is a real post. Surely nobody would be so stupid.

Just in case it is. Have you any idea how many women are seriously injured/killed by their husbands/partners each year. Often because the man is jealous/controlling/believes his partner is cheating.

Keep your mouth closed. And stop fucking monitoring her every move, what she is wearing etc, and letting your husband sniff the air around her and report back .....