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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour having an affair - do I report my suspicions?

647 replies

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:53

We live next to a couple - lady is probably mid/late 30’s, the man in his 40’s. They don’t have children.

Both are pleasant, and the man does shift work - one week a month he leaves early evening and works into the following day (we often hear his car pull up in the early hours).

DH and I have both noticed over recent months that a couple of times a week when her partner is on lates, the lady will be picked up by a car (the same one) around 6.30/7pm (she doesn’t drive) and not return until closer to midnight - the car will usually linger outside with the engine running as they are in it chatting.

With the lighter evenings, we’ve noticed that on these occasions she is always ‘done up’ in make up and wearing flattering outfits - tight dresses, heels etc. On one occasion, my DH was out the front and he said there was an over bearing smell of perfume. She rarely appears like this at any other time when her partner is home.

She has gone out again tonight and we’ve noticed her - again the same car, and her all dressed up.

We are convinced she is having an affair, it has all the hallmarks and it’s too much of a coincidence to only be when her partner is working lates.

I feel like morally, I should say something - but I don’t want to put my foot in it. Would anyone have ideas on how to approach this?

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 29/05/2025 22:36

Sasha07 · 29/05/2025 22:32

Oooh... this has gone to the shark thing! The jump the shark thing?! The OP makes it too obvious that it's bs and something to do with a jumping shark! First time I'm trying to call it and I'm just going to put it out there.. but I don't know what the phrase is! Shark, jumped, jump the shark. But yeah, fucking loon OP! 🦈

The phrase is Jumped the Shark. From Happy Days when The Fonz was on waterski’s I think….

DBSFstupid · 29/05/2025 22:36

Evaka · 29/05/2025 21:36

Report??? To the sex police? Stop your nonsense, you nosy goose.

😂

Helloworlditsmeagain · 29/05/2025 22:37

You better get on top of it quickly your house might devalue 😮

Thedogscollar · 29/05/2025 22:37

@AmzJS why troll?
If you've nothing interesting to discuss or say you are more to be pitied really.

HelpMeGetThrough · 29/05/2025 22:38

How do you approach it? You don’t. None of your business. I know of at least two neighbours here that were doing the dirty. No bloody way I could be bothered with getting involved in that.

SabreIsMyFave · 29/05/2025 22:39

Wheresthebeach · 29/05/2025 22:31

And a nice bit of camouflage…army shuffle up to the car and listen into the conversation to ensure correct details

Big Cat Rescue Glasses GIF by Cameo

😂 Or a cunning disguise!

Mistyglade · 29/05/2025 22:39

Yes I’d ring the local gazette asap. She cannot expect get away with that type of thing on your doorstep.

WorryBear · 29/05/2025 22:39

WTH. Find a hobby and stop with the witch hunt. How ridiculous.

treesareforlifenotjustforchristmas · 29/05/2025 22:39

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:07

I don’t believe they are married - we haven’t spotted a ring at least. Which makes things even more ripe for infidelity.

I’m fucking crying 😂
‘ripe for infidelity’ because she is a woman living in sin!
I do enjoy a winde up thread though

Icanttakethisanymore · 29/05/2025 22:39

It’s a hard No

Ecstaticmotion · 29/05/2025 22:40

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:07

I don’t believe they are married - we haven’t spotted a ring at least. Which makes things even more ripe for infidelity.

lol what?! Your reasoning skills are lacking.

Willpowders · 29/05/2025 22:40

Nope nope nope nope. Please don’t get involved. None of your business.

I work from home and often have the same handyman come over to do jobs during the day during the week. Always when husband is at work, because he works from an office. I often wonder if the neighbours think something sordid is going on 🤣

onwardsup4 · 29/05/2025 22:40

Haha good one

whatisthegoddamnholdup · 29/05/2025 22:40

Jesus Christ, this is batshit. Mind your own business.

grumpygrape · 29/05/2025 22:44

OP, are you gathering material for a Mills and Boon ?

KrisAkabusi · 29/05/2025 22:44

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:01

We wouldn’t be shouting the odds in the street - a discrete word with the man was what we were thinking. He’ll know if it’s legitimate and in that case I am sure they’ll laugh it off - no harm done.

So if a neighbour said that your husband had been having an affair, and here's all the reasons why, you'd be happy? It wouldn't cause any doubt in your mind at all? I very much doubt you would just laugh things off, just the accusation would change things for both of you.

Cheesyfootballs01 · 29/05/2025 22:47

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:30

We know what we’ve seen - unfortunately our ring door bell doesn’t quite pick up any dialogue as that would have her bang to rights.

Banged to rights?!?!

FFS keep your nose out and get a bloody life!

What the hell had it got to do with you anyway- how sad are you and your OH spying on the neighbour

ClarasSisters · 29/05/2025 22:48

Maybe you should dress yourself up and get out there next time, ask if you can tag along?
Because you clearly need to get out more.

HelpMeGetThrough · 29/05/2025 22:49

Cheesyfootballs01 · 29/05/2025 22:47

Banged to rights?!?!

FFS keep your nose out and get a bloody life!

What the hell had it got to do with you anyway- how sad are you and your OH spying on the neighbour

OP & DH are probably jealous, as they aren’t shagging away like the neighbour.

blacksantanapkin · 29/05/2025 22:51

God you sound like right nosey, curtain-twitching busybodies. Why are you so invested in the lives of your neighbours?

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:51

KrisAkabusi · 29/05/2025 22:44

So if a neighbour said that your husband had been having an affair, and here's all the reasons why, you'd be happy? It wouldn't cause any doubt in your mind at all? I very much doubt you would just laugh things off, just the accusation would change things for both of you.

I would thank them for their vigilance and make further enquiries into my DH’s alleged conduct.

OP posts:
Springadorable · 29/05/2025 22:52

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:51

I would thank them for their vigilance and make further enquiries into my DH’s alleged conduct.

OP you are absolute gold 😂

SabreIsMyFave · 29/05/2025 22:52

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 22:51

I would thank them for their vigilance and make further enquiries into my DH’s alleged conduct.

😂

MoistVonL · 29/05/2025 22:53

Next time she comes out, run up with a can of red spray paint and anoint her with a big letter A.

Women like Hester Pryn shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this nonsense

2024onwardsandup · 29/05/2025 22:53

AmzJS · 29/05/2025 20:56

Because our neighbour is a very nice man and if I was in his position, I’d want to know?

Heck, they could be trying for a baby for all I know and i’d potentially save him from the mess that would bring.

How do you know he’s a nice man?

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