To think that women (or men) who drop their kids off at school in PJS, go shopping in Tesco in pj's and come down to the breakfast in a hotel in pj's are wrong in the head?

[YourAmplePlumPoster]

I visited Amsterdam last year and was shocked to see an apparently middle class women coming down to breakfast in her pj's,dressing gown and slippers. Similarly going round Tescos where there are people, especially women in pj's and slippers. No doubt I'll be called an old right wing fascist or something.

I have never worn pyjamas on the school run, or to a supermarket, or indeed anywhere other than bed. I am pretty lazy in general though. If I have an opportunity for a nap I’ll take it. Is it still a bad human trait if it doesn’t involve going to Tesco in my onesie?

I can't get excited about this. And I don't find it particularly grim (unless the pyjamas are obviously dirty), just a bit odd.

I don't do it myself but I couldn't give a shite what other people wear.

On children in need day, my son’s teacher actually did wear her PJs!

I hear what you are saying. Though if I could choose a warm and loving pj-wearing parent or a harsh and cold beautifully attired parent, it would be a no brainer for me.

I just can't imagine caring this much about what people wear. Also, unless it's obvious with dressing gowns etc you aren't always going to know what people wear for pjs.

@TeenLifeMum

If I trailed around the house in pyjamas all day, I think I'd get down mentally. I like the transition of showering and dressing, its a sign the day has started.

Someone mentioned up thread that a woman may be too depressed to change into their clothes.
It's no coincidence that in hospital the staff make you get dressed if you're able to. No advantage to them, but it's mood changing for the patient.

I think the difference here is “hidden under my coat”. The op is talking about those who openly wear their pjs. I’d say that’s a rather different type of person.

Dropping dd1 at school for 5am for a school trip, not one of the 47 parents were in pjs.

I commented to a colleague about one of these threads several years ago "it would never happen in [picturesque village we worked in]" and then bugger me, two women appeared in their pj's, slippers and dressing gowns.

I do this. Plain black cotton bottoms and plain dark long sleeve t shirts. Saves getting changed before walking the 🦮 I saw a woman wearing a dressing gown and slippers out in town in the middle of the afternoon today. Hair and make up done. I don’t really care but I thought it was such an interesting choice to put on lipstick but not outdoor shoes.

To be fair, some of the clothes advertised as day clothes look like PJs, and some people with say that at least PJs cover more up...and when you look at photos of people on their seaside holidays, even in the 70s, they're all so smart, most of the men in suits and ties, women in smart dresses and heels (yes, some wore what we think of as more casual 70s things, but a LOT were very formal)...well they'd probably be shocked to see how most of us dress now.
I believe a headteacher once asked parents not to drop off in PJs, not sure what happened. I wouldn't do it, but then I've always had to go to work straight after so I couldn't-some of the parents who do say what's the point getting dressed as they want to get home and back to bed asap. Maybe some of the people on holiday are intending to have another snooze, but have to come down for breakfast because there's no room service/a time limit? No, I wouldn't do it (clothes for bed shouldn't go outside in my opinion), but that's only my view.

Well it's not a great one is it?

No-one ever says 'I hope my child will grow up to be lazy'.

Or 'I really want to marry a lazy man and settle down'.

I’ve always wondered if people who do this then go back to bed in the same PJs later that night - and if so are they then getting the dirt of the day/ outside in their bed?!

I agree that it isn't great to do things that embarrass your kids needlessly so school drop-offs in PJs would be a no from me (I'm sure I'll end up embarrassing my DD in plenty of other ways by mistake so best not to add to the pile of grievances unnecessarily).

But in general... just can't get worked up about the issue. Sure, we can go on about 'standards' and 'pride in appearance' but it's all just about fashion and social convention, which has changed constantly throughout human history and will continue to change. In the days when only a minority of people could afford to walk around looking physically clean and wearing fancy jewellery etc, those people wanted to preserve their sense of distinction and (imagined) superiority. Gradually more people could access that lifestyle, prompting of course richer folks to develop ever more exclusive ways of separating themselves from others and sometimes even leading to the snake eating itself where looking casual or scruffy could be a mark of 'poshness' (although I think most wealthy people still don't buy into that). The social utility of status-signalling through clothing has declined, I'd argue. People around the world and through time have worn every shape and colour of garment imaginable. So really, ultimately, does it matter if more people now are putting causal comfort first? We could even argue that it's just a natural expression of lifestyle changes, with barriers between work and home, formal and informal, getting eroded more and more (not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing, just the thing that is happening).

Not that I could be bothered but I judge people with make up on, it looks terrible and like you are trying to impress someone and just because feminists give permission doesnt mean I dont think women who think they are doing it for themselves are actually doing for men yet complain how evil men are how women should be able to do what they want and it is not for them it is to make themselves feel better

Now I have never worn PJ's out of the house but if I did what would happen would the sky fall in? if any us of wear them to school or shops people may think 'oh look at them they look terrible' and what? I would rather be a PJ wearer than someone who judges based on looks

Don't suppose they would GAF.

Occasionally see kids in their PJs and dressing gowns in our local supermarket (usually with fully dressed parent), and it seems inoffensive enough. This is a smallish town and people are generally tolerant of local eccentricity.

I don't even own any PJs as such, haven't worn them for years. I usually sleep in an oversized T-shirt and shorts.

I wouldn't go out without dressing presentably, but rarely with jewellery and never wear make-up.

I definitely don’t need to wear makeup to go to the supermarket etc. I’ll make sure my skin and lips are moisturised as they get so, dry and will of course have washed my brushed my teeth etc but that’s about it. But I do all these things even if I don’t leave the house.

But why would you even want to wear your slippers to Tesco? That’s riddiculous wearing them as outside shoes . My slippers don’t leave my house so they’re nice and clean. And most slippers aren’t that comfortable on super hard surfaces like concrete , nor are they supportive.

And as for pyjamas - do they wear the same pyjamas they’ve worn outside to bed? Kind of defeats the purpose of pjs! Glad to say I’ve only ever seen this once or twice in my life but I do feel sympathy for those who are severely depressed and can’t muster up the energy to get ready before dropping their kids off . The others are just being ridiculous.

You had me thinking YANBU until you said that. It’s implying that “being presentable” means wearing makeup and jewellery and “nice” clothes (whatever those are). It also makes you sound judgmental only of other women - I’m guessing you aren’t judging the Dads who aren’t wearing makeup and jewellery at drop off.

Imo it’s completely appropriate for parents to encourage the way they would like their kids to dress by their own actions - so clean face and hands/nails, hair brushed, clean, neat clothes and suitable footwear for the parents dropping off at the school as well as the kids going in. Pyjamas are nightwear and no more appropriate for the school drop off (or even the supermarket ideally) than a ballgown or morning suit. Perhaps better than wearing nothing at all but still quite socially incongruous 🤣

Makeup, jewellery and “nice” (fashionable?) clothes aren’t what matters and its a sad example to set kids to suggest they are imo.

Maybe people judge you for being pathetic enough to need make up and jewelry for the shops, in the same way that you judge people for their PJs.
How about you do you.....

OMG, I full on laughed out loud at this. It's the Premier Inn bit 😂😂

I truly believe that this is harmful to society. The normalisation of a slovenly appearance is damaging to the aspirations, mental health and work ethic of society in general.

We already have a huge number of people who are not engaging in work or training in this country. Normalising a lifestyle where people don’t get dressed reinforces a lack of engagement. It becomes a symbol of this lifestyle.

I can't even sit home in my PJs. I shower and change into clean, comfy leggins and a t-shirt if I'm not going out. I feel disgusted by people in PJs and slippers at the supermarket, and always assume their mental health is not the best. It takes two seconds to pull on a pair of leggings and a sweater. Basic social skills.

How do you know people dont sleep in a tshirt and leggins & put clean PJs to go out in? sounds silly but that is why I dont judge on appearance alone you never know and judging says more about the Judge than anyone else

If people have so little in their lives they want to judge others that is on them

I think the answer depends entirely on if ‘no care for yourself’ means doing the school run in pjs or if it also means doing the school run in clothes with no makeup or jewellery. You have made quite a few comments so far indicating you think it’s both. In which case fuck off with thinking you can impose your rigid standards of femininity on all women, and I’ll collect my children wearing whatever j want.