Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

I have been in the position that I have been nominated as 'the person' to arrange / choose & buy 'buffet' type meals for occasions at work - I feel more appreciated if ALL the food is eaten at work - no left overs - good job done! Did they bring those little take-away type containers, intending to take stuff home??. (and who on earth counts or even notices the number of sandwiches etc that someone else consumes??).YANBU🤔

I don't think it was counting. I think it was the fact op got up 4 times which is a bit unusual, and obviously noticeable when so many commented. I don't think they should have said anything though. I also suspect some of the post, if not all may be fabricated, given that op never returned.

She (original commenter) said she felt really embarrassed
I'm not sure I'd come back here if I felt embarrassed Though she's got nothing to feel embarrassed about
Also there's too much detail in her post for it to be made up
Why in God's name would she dream of making something like this, with so much detail up 🥺She seems genuinely upset seeking guidance 😢

There were loads of people finding op reasonable, why would she not come back at any point, even towards the start? A bit pointless making the thread than if she is that embarrassed, you just wouldn't make it at all, and it's anonymous. I thought all of the colleagues having kids wanting to take leftovers home seemed fabricated/exaggerated imo.

The context people wanted to know was what her contribution was, as if it wasn't a lot compared to others, it may explain their annoyance. I think pps were just trying to understand the situation better, as most with kids wouldn't dream of keeping food to take home. Even when I had no kids I wouldn't have wanted to take old office buffet food home.

Yes thankfully there were numerous supportive of her, praise God
However, I've heard many times how when some individuals have had their confidence knocked, they will only focus on the negative comments, even if there's a Million positives, the negative ones will sadly win over
I really do feel for her & I've been in situations, gatherings etc, where the majority become like sheep & just jump on the bandwagon
Example :the group making a decision to bring leftovers home to their Children
It wouldn't be my cup of tea either, but strange things happen with groups
One man's perfume is another's poison
Maybe o commenter received enough guidance & just doesn't yet feel the need to come back, She also might be extremely busy, licking her wounds, suffering in silence
It's always kind to keep an open mind, because we just never know someone's circumstances until we walk in their shoes
We're all individuals & deal with our upsets our own unique ways
There's been times, I've seeked advice, then retreated into my shell for a while, whilst I process recommendations suggestions etc
Whether anonymous or not she opened up regarding an experience which hurt her which can make individuals feel exposed & vulnerable like opening up a wound -
There's no right or wrong way & it's most surely nice to give the benefit of the doubt & permit her to grow from this situation in her own sweet time, in her own individual way 🙏

I was only mentioning the "ones with kids" because that's what op said was used as a reason not to be taking more food. I know from experience it doesn't matter kids or no kids you'll always get someone chiming in about how much someone else is eating.

Sorry, sounds like you’ve got a reputation, and sounds like you did a few more line-ups than the others and they noticed and called you out.

Even though there was loads left, did you have to go up so many times?

Soooooo not an issue!!!!

This kind of shit reminds me why I like to work alone. If it were me, I’d make a note of date/names and what was said (as someone else has suggested, in case any more is said) and then next time I’d be having my own lunch and just not being involved. I’d even consider buying/bringing in something extra special and keeping it all to myself. Fuck them, and the buffet they rode in on 😊

Yes greedy. They were very rude to point it out.

Can I ask OP are you overweight. Some people are funny about overweight people eating.

The food was there to be eaten by the staff they were complaining because there was less to take home for their kids and they'd already mentally made up the plates. I'd of made up a plate to take home too !

As long as everyone has enough, the appetite of the OP is none of her colleagues business, the commenter obviously wanted to take large quantities home themselves- this sort of comment is nearly always to mask something the commenter wanted to do themselves, otherwise what is it to her?

It absolutely should not have been said. And it isn't necessarily fair leftovers go to people with kids rather than share between all to take home. So yes, it was unreasonable it was said.

However, and I mean this kindly, it does sound like a lot of food, especially as 'party' type foods, so perhaps it is something to consider for health reasons, was the comment accurate even if it should not have been said? We weren't there so don't know sizes etc. But you will know. Just a point I thought to consider.

Yep and there's a name for these ppl!!

Tell thrm to go to food bsnks. If they vsn't afford to feed their kids!!!!

Yes Most Surely & It's So Wrong & Upsetting That Some Would Have a Problem, With Those Whom're Currently Carrying Some Extra Pounds, Consuming 😔I Mean, As We Know, Folk Can Be Heavier, Due To Numerous Health Problems, We Understand It's So Narrow Minded For Some, To Presume It's Always Due To Overeating
🙏