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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Called “greedy” at work

516 replies

HamOnBeth · 29/05/2025 12:28

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

OP posts:
Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 18:17

This is the exact reason why my partner hates working in offices. All they do is gossip and there is no productivity it's all bollocks.

Laurmolonlabe · 30/05/2025 18:20

I have noticed that children are used as an excuse for unpleasant behaviours .
Hogging leave especially at Christmas-take you turn having children doesn't make you special over 80% of people have children, why should the minority 20% always be at the back of the queue? Who decided the food should go to people with children- and why? Just ignore comments, you didn't stop anyone getting their share- you are only tying to prevent waste, if someone with children is particularly struggling, and needs the food they should say so-rather than trying to shame you into letting them take it

Thatsrhesummeroverthen · 30/05/2025 18:22

You shouldn't eat more than you brought though.
It wasn't a free lunch, everyone brought food in

HerNeighbourTotoro · 30/05/2025 18:23

LillyPJ · 30/05/2025 09:06

It wouldn't be there for everyone if some greedy people grabbed as much as they could for themselves. When it's a shared thing, everyone should be considerate of others.

Show quote history

But if OP managed to go a few times that means there were loads of spare. Did everyone sit there like a stupid mummy and hoped the food will magically float to their bags? Did they expect OP to serve them or pack the food up for them? If by the end of the day there was food left and no one was going for it, Id assume they were not interested and it would be a shame to waste it.

CleaningAngel · 30/05/2025 18:29

HamOnBeth · 29/05/2025 12:28

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

Whst an absolute set of bitches, this is how bullying starts.
And as for when you said sorry I didn't hear that, and the reply was "well you wouldn't of would you"
Wtaf is that supposed to mean, snd I eould of fronted that spiteful cow up snd said 'what exactly is your point or problem'
Iam sending u a hug because I so hate a person been singled out like this

NatFatPrat · 30/05/2025 18:38
Feed Me Eating GIF by Bleacher Report

Your colleagues sound nasty. They probably wanted to stuff their own faces with the left over food on their way home. I would not take food to share anymore after that. What for? So they can take it home to their kids? I don’t think so? Cheeky fuckers.

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 30/05/2025 18:47

Lmnop22 · 29/05/2025 12:32

Isn’t the whole point of taking what’s left over exactly that - what is left once those who the food was intended for and who contributed food have eaten, namely you and your colleagues!!

This is so rude to call you greedy for eating food left out for the purposes of being eaten by those in the office, I would be upset by that too.

The others are clearly just salty that they will get less free food at the end of the day to take home for their kids….

’Oh I’m sorry there’s a little less free food to take home to your kids’ should have been your reply OP.

The commenters were downright rude as well and you have no need to be embarrassed.

Bunny65 · 30/05/2025 18:51

FlatErica · 29/05/2025 12:31

People with kids, probably!

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How horrible. Sounds like the parents at work are being greedy. I really hate that sort of bullying in the guise of fake virtue signalling.

Longleggedgiraffe · 30/05/2025 18:52

Hoplolly · 29/05/2025 12:42

I think if I watched someone go up four times to take food, I'd also think they were a bit greedy!

It's being greedy if someone takes a lot of food and someone else has to go without. It's not being greedy if there is loads left. Also, there are people who prefer to go up several times taking a little each time, instead of going up and taking a huge plateful. Policing someone's food intake, unless for health reasons is rude.

GiveDogBone · 30/05/2025 18:58

This is exactly the type of post that I laugh at. You’re an adult in the real world, not a child in the school playground where mummy can come and tell everyone how much their wonderful little angel is being treated so unfairly!

Basically, instead of sticking your own snout in the trough three times did it occur to you that others might want some, without having to keep an eye out for you scoffing it all, irrespective of whether it was agreed that it would be best for those with families to take the spare food home! Frankly I’d be embarrassed at going up for seconds three times, our should I say fourths!

Kirstk · 30/05/2025 19:00

SORRY MEANT YNBU the food wasn't put there for the kids it was there to be eaten!

JournalistEmily · 30/05/2025 19:00

This is so stupid it’s not even worth a mumsnet message. Don’t stress it, people are weird

GiveDogBone · 30/05/2025 19:00

Longleggedgiraffe · 30/05/2025 18:52

It's being greedy if someone takes a lot of food and someone else has to go without. It's not being greedy if there is loads left. Also, there are people who prefer to go up several times taking a little each time, instead of going up and taking a huge plateful. Policing someone's food intake, unless for health reasons is rude.

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She was hardly taking a little each time, “a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin” (which was her third portion!) is a lunch in its own right.

FOXYMORON1707 · 30/05/2025 19:00

Jeezo I am all over buffets what you are describing seems normal in consumption and mindful. Tell them to feed their own kids and stop being so
bitchy to you.

florizel13 · 30/05/2025 19:03

Why just those with kids?

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 30/05/2025 19:03

Half the staff with kids would have been on leave anyway since it's half-term.

Tuck in - that's what it is there for.

Longleggedgiraffe · 30/05/2025 19:03

GiveDogBone · 30/05/2025 19:00

She was hardly taking a little each time, “a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin” (which was her third portion!) is a lunch in its own right.

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It's no one's call to decide how much people have for lunch. One person's lunch is another person's snack.

Blablibladirladada · 30/05/2025 19:11

😂😂😂

offices!!

I remember the girls taking the bits they wanted as soon as said event was done and hide it to share between everyone later on and leaving the few bits for people to come back later.

I must say to go back that many times is a first I hear of but to call you greedy is uncalled for as she evidently wanted something.

you were right to laugh it off and everyone will be better tomorrow!

katepilar · 30/05/2025 19:13

nomas · 29/05/2025 12:33

Probably!

They need to be told that the food is brought in by everyone, those with kids and without kids so they can’t unilaterally decide to give it to just the parents.

Plus, wouldn’t the sandwiches be stale and hard by home time?

Show quote history

Stale after 5 hours? No.

catatoniac · 30/05/2025 19:18

Bullying.

Scorchio84 · 30/05/2025 19:19

mondaytosunday · 29/05/2025 12:33

To be honest if I saw some one going back THREE times after the lunch I’d be thinking ‘Gosh how hungry can they be’? But I wouldn’t have said anything and see no reason why the food should then be reserved just for parents to take home.

It wouldn't even dawn on me to notice.. they sound like assholes & all this "only parents" bullshit?? Pricks @HamOnBeth they made you feel like shit over nothing, I hate that x

Cloudtime · 30/05/2025 19:20

I might be in the minority here but I can see why going backwards and forwards all day might look greedy . Fair enough if you were hungry and you’d contributed your fair share to the buffet but I don’t understand the logic of eating food just because it’s there. It wasn’t going to be wasted anyway but I accept you didn’t know that .
Is there any chance you could be seen as a ‘grabby person ‘ there generally ? We have a couple on our team like that . Not just food but stationary, gifts for the team anything really ….. they always makes sure they get what they can.

Isobel201 · 30/05/2025 19:25

Helloworlditsmeagain · 30/05/2025 18:17

This is the exact reason why my partner hates working in offices. All they do is gossip and there is no productivity it's all bollocks.

yeah me too, the covid lockdown was a godsend for me because of the amount of bullying I received in my previous job.

SkiLesArcs · 30/05/2025 19:26

NYANBU. Outrageous comment to make to a colleague. As for certain people taking leftovers home for their kids, this is not on if it has not been agreed by everyone as presumably you all had contributed. Sounds like there is a bitchy cliquey group who make up the rules to suit themselves. As others have said food, particularly any meat/fish/cream/mayo, is not fit for eating after being left out in a warm office. That is why Food Standards Agency have very strict guidelines. I feel sorry for their kids, fed on hours old scraps, yeugh! Hoping you don’t socialize with them out of work as they seem most unpleasant people.

Scorchio84 · 30/05/2025 19:28

@Cloudtime in all the schools over the years I've worked in, inevitably the board of management would send in sandwiches & salad etc regularly, quite the spread, the lads would always be straight in, no problem, no one felt the need to pass a remark except in a joking way that EVERYONE was on the same side of, no snide remarks or making anyone uncomfortable & I can tell you more often than not lots went to waste, like our school lunches at the end of the day, bainne going off & to waste, teachers nearly begging kids to take some home.. this is nothing other than making someone self concious & I hate that, I'd never think of anyone as "grabby" in this situation

ETA maybe it's different in an office? I just don't like the thoughts of anyone being made feel like shit over food