Called “greedy” at work

[HamOnBeth]

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

Yes they will be. Do you think the staff will be careful to cover the sandwiches?

Have you never had sandwich platters at work? They’re stale within hours. Or maybe you’re another who would take them home instead of letting colleagues eat them.

Yeah, which parents would feed their kids leftovers which has been out all day?

They're just being bitchy.

He demanded he worked on the field.

If you're not like them then you are canon fodder. I am glad you found another job. The culture in offices is toxic.

That's what a buffet is for, surely? To pick at when you want something. It certainly isn't for parents to discourage others to eat from so that they can take the leftovers to feed their children.

What have you that idea. Have you ever worked in an office it's a toxic place. The gossiping is ridiculous my partner has worked for two different places not in the office. In the first office the CEO is shagging a manager who's husband works in a different department. In the other productivity is slow and all they do is gossip and have meetings but nothing is going on. If I told you what work these offices are doing you'd be fucking raging.

Isn't it funny how things like that stick in your mind!

I really wouldn't worry about it , it's the thing I hear said every time we have a buffet in work, you can be sure the ones with kids were counting every sandwich and sausage roll that every person had just waiting to say "leave some for some one else!" It is them that are being greedy wanting to get it and save themselves cooking tonight. Just brush it off, yanbu it's normal workplace antics.

This is nothing to do parents v childfree. Plenty of parents on this thread who think trying to stop colleagues eating food so you can smuggle it home is unacceptable.

I'd say it was those taking stuff home to subsidise the food bill that were greedy. You OP was gluttonous for eating a hundred sandwiches.

When I was on PTA duty making food, another woman opened every catering can of hot dogs when only one was needed. All with the view of taking home leftovers.

You must be such a joy in the office - I’d hate to have people do things like this in my team. I’ll make a leap and bet you aren’t in a leadership position.

Agree. Doesn't mean 'those with kids' should get to take it home just because. Who would even want to feed their kids food that has been out all afternoon? Gross.

Your colleagues don’t sound very nice, OP.

In my old toxic workplace there was one person who would control the general consensus and then others would just follow. Just like in Mean Girls.

I’d keep an eye on these colleagues and document everything.

There is always 1 or 2 that would moan .in this heat food will be stale who would want to give that to there kids I'd ignore them so what if your going back and forth it's there to be eaten stupid people

Why be nasty?

I actually was. You sound like one of the culprits darling.

Sounds like you work in a very bitchy place.

Workplace dynamics is my bread and butter. In one workplace, this is a bit of unpleasant but accepted banter. In another it is bullying. Only you can know.

If it fits with the usual pattern of "banter", perhaps you can just informally ask her not to do it again. Thank God this workplace style is dying, but then I've been saying that for 20+ years. Show me a workplace with "banter" and I will be able to expose bullying, exclusion and low productivity without much effort. But some folk just can't let go - they understandably don't want sterile and think this is the only alternative, so we still have this nonsense to contend with.

Otherwise, if you think it is bullying, report what was said verbatim to HR. If your HR team is focused on culture, inclusion or similar, they will be in like Flynn. They may be only too willing and eager to deal with it.

I wouldn't mind but that taking stuff home to the kids was bullshit - it was people wanting the oink out on Wotsits and mini M&S Swiss Rolls on the way home without the eagle eyed commentary from Little Miss Eyeroller. What kid views a curly cheese sandwich and a sweaty Babybel with excitement? Even in the seventies we'd have scoffed at second hand homemade party food. "Take it home if you have children" my big fat arse. "Take it and scoff it in the car"? Much more likely.

Sounds like some people at work were looking for an opportunity to have a dig and their dig hit the spot.

It was there to be eaten. And who the hell decided the people with kids were going to go home with a boatload of food ?
That's an absolute liberty.
It was a work colleagues leaving lunch not a kids birthday party
Don't lose any sleep over it.
Grown adults fighting over a bit of party food....Good Lord.

It does seem quite odd to be going to a buffet 4 times, I honestly can't see the need at all.
I wouldn't have said anything tho as I'm generally not rude

Really weird they deciding to take food home to kids....because kids don't really.need sandwiches and cold meats that have been sat around all day in a warm room.
They were just being spiteful and wanted to make you feel bad. The food was.going in the bin as soon as everyone left

I’d guess by somebody with kids (who really just wanted the food for themselves…) Lol 😝

I work in a kitchen and often able to take stuff home and could take for my son and girlfriend, I don't because it's been there a while. Why would anyone wanna take for there kids. Bet was ppl with kids commented while thinking could of taken that bit home

Here's s different point of view. How does any work get done in the office if people are keeping track of how much food everyone is taking? I was at a picnic recently and if there was leftovers everyone took home what they contributed or offered it to others(which most of us did). I think the greedy people were the ones who decided to give the food away to a select few.