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Original poster

Called “greedy” at work

516 replies

HamOnBeth · 29/05/2025 12:28

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

OP posts:
IkeaJesusChrist · 30/05/2025 21:27

It's a buffet, surely the idea is that the food is eaten?

Fuck them kids and eat the food, if the kids are that hungry then the parents can cook them something.

sarah419 · 30/05/2025 21:36

basic etiquette, have lunch during the lunch hour and don’t go for seconds… yes it’s greedy to fill your plate several times and demand to take some home too.

Masmavi · 30/05/2025 22:12

Projectme · 29/05/2025 12:34

You didn't hear that someone commented about leftovers being taken home for people's children so you weren't to know. If I was hungry, I'd have had a few more bits too.

If there was still loads left over after you had some more at 5pm, then there was still enough for those people to take bits home for their kids (ewww...yuk...the food was sat in an office environment for 4 hours at least and they actually WANTED to take it home?!)

"I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes." This would have annoyed me enough to ask 'what's that supposed to mean?'

Exactly. Bite back (pun intended) and confront this nastiness before it escalates. They were rude, their issue but don’t be afraid to show your feelings back.

PoppyTries · 30/05/2025 22:17

NicolaCasanova · 29/05/2025 12:47

This reminds me of my old toxic workplace and an especially toxic, selfish colleague. We did a kind of informal bake-off once where about 8 out of say 12 of us signed up to bring in a homemade treat one week (a different person each week.) The 4 or so who didn’t sign up are those who rarely work on-site or have restricted diets. Everyone takes public transport to work and it was really just for fun so people would just being in 8-10 portions of what they had made so everyone could taste.

As soon as she arrived, cheeky toxic fucker would put at least 2 (usually 4) portions into her purposeful Tupperware for her teenage sons’ snack! I avoided interacting with her as she was just such an awful person (and the main reason I left working there) but a blunt, Australian colleague just called her out, just factually, without being rude or pass-agg, and it was glorious.

SAME! We had a holiday cookie exchange (everyone could take a little plate of leftovers home if any were available) until the year two cheeky f*cker coworkers (who hadn’t contributed at all) filled up large Tupperware containers first thing in the morning. They were told to put the cookies back, as they were brought in to share with the office, and they didn’t. I had to go over to their desks and take their Tupperware. It was ridiculous.

That was the year everyone decided to eat as many cookies as they wanted (and, to be fair, we were sneaking “leftover” plates to a lot of people) so, by late afternoon, no cookies remained.

Would you believe these two had the audacity to complain to HR that I had taken the cookies back and now, at the end of the day, there were no cookies left for them to take to a party they were attending that evening? The HR person could not stop laughing at them.

The following year, those of us who contributed just brought in little plates to share with each other. When asked why we weren’t having a whole free-for-all, we reminded everyone that Alexis and Valerie ruined it for everyone last year and then had the nerve to complain. Yes I’m using their real names & I hope they see this. The both of you suck.

CleaningAngel · 30/05/2025 22:43

GiveDogBone · 30/05/2025 18:58

This is exactly the type of post that I laugh at. You’re an adult in the real world, not a child in the school playground where mummy can come and tell everyone how much their wonderful little angel is being treated so unfairly!

Basically, instead of sticking your own snout in the trough three times did it occur to you that others might want some, without having to keep an eye out for you scoffing it all, irrespective of whether it was agreed that it would be best for those with families to take the spare food home! Frankly I’d be embarrassed at going up for seconds three times, our should I say fourths!

There was plenty to go around, it's not like she troughed the lot and none left for anyone else.
When I go on AI holidays, I go up to the buffet 3 or 4 times !! Granted my plate isn't piled high, but I have about 4 different main courses, plus chips etc etc, that doesn't include dessert. So am I greedy ?
Not as if people can say look at thst fat heffer, iam 8st 11 and not fat, I just love food

Iceboy80 · 30/05/2025 22:58

You eat it and enjoy yourself, if it's there then it's there to be eaten, not to be saved for other people's kids.

Chick981 · 30/05/2025 23:04

I’ll be honest I wouldn’t have gone up to a buffet three or four times because I’d worry people would think I’m greedy but that’s absolutely a me problem and me worrying too much about what people think. They were probably jealous they didn’t go up more often themselves.

CatLoco · 30/05/2025 23:17

I'd be really upset with those comments tbh. The food is there to be eaten and it's a bit shallow for those being the food police to be making you feel this way. I'd be giving them a cool shoulder for a while and if asked tell them that it made you feel like a greedy shit. Unnecessary behaviour from so called adults...

squidgybits · 31/05/2025 00:17

Some things from a buffet will survive for a few hours but not all! Anything left out gets aged and I don't fancy my chances if the fillings are fishy or dairy
It should be eaten in a time frame/window and if it is not fridge-d i would not give it to anybody after an hour - 2 in air con but take your chances
Just me X

BoundaryGirl3939 · 31/05/2025 00:18

It wasn't you being greedy. They were being greedy. How childish and petty that someone would make that remark.

BoundaryGirl3939 · 31/05/2025 00:20

I also think an agreement like this is unfair on employees who don't have children. Not fair that food is given to some people to enjoy, and not others.

Batmannequin · 31/05/2025 00:30

Lmnop22 · 29/05/2025 12:32

Isn’t the whole point of taking what’s left over exactly that - what is left once those who the food was intended for and who contributed food have eaten, namely you and your colleagues!!

This is so rude to call you greedy for eating food left out for the purposes of being eaten by those in the office, I would be upset by that too.

The others are clearly just salty that they will get less free food at the end of the day to take home for their kids….

Similar situation happened at the funeral of my step-dads father. Organisers from the church hall the wake was being held at were told that IF there were any leftovers, they would be able to take some home. The ghouls immediately began portioning off and hoarding whatever they wanted to take home, even before the food had been served. My mum had to step in to prevent them taking whole trays of food away. It still makes me angry 15 years later.

CopperWhite · 31/05/2025 00:46

BoundaryGirl3939 · 31/05/2025 00:20

I also think an agreement like this is unfair on employees who don't have children. Not fair that food is given to some people to enjoy, and not others.

It sounds like when OP went up the third time, all the others noticed and agreed amongst themselves that they’d like to take a share home. If they hadn’t been up a second time at that point and OP was on her fourth visit, they probably just used kids as an excuse to make it sound a bit nicer when they pointed out she was taking way more than her share.

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/05/2025 01:07

CopperWhite · 31/05/2025 00:46

It sounds like when OP went up the third time, all the others noticed and agreed amongst themselves that they’d like to take a share home. If they hadn’t been up a second time at that point and OP was on her fourth visit, they probably just used kids as an excuse to make it sound a bit nicer when they pointed out she was taking way more than her share.

Show quote history

But at that point it was 4pm and they'd had most of the day to go up multiple times if they wanted to. That's what a buffet is for.

LunaShadow · 31/05/2025 01:10

Hoplolly · 29/05/2025 12:42

I think if I watched someone go up four times to take food, I'd also think they were a bit greedy!

you can’t judge how much someone has by the number of visits. On occasions such as this I would do what the OP has done. Have a small amount, then a bit more and again, then a flapjack. It’s not like the plate was piled high 4 times.

CopperWhite · 31/05/2025 01:21

SouthLondonMum22 · 31/05/2025 01:07

But at that point it was 4pm and they'd had most of the day to go up multiple times if they wanted to. That's what a buffet is for.

Show quote history

Maybe they weren’t hungry after having lunch once but still felt entitled to a share to have later on so wanted there to be something left.

allmymonkeys · 31/05/2025 01:33

Making the comment about greedy is what was out of order. I spend time in an office where I can't believe how much people seem to eat - it's loads! All the time! They never stop! - but nothing on earth would make me say something like that and I can honestly say I don't even think it.

I think the person who said that was being incredibly rude, and actually I don't think much to the person who exclaimed about your going back to graze a bit more, either. The food was there to share and you were doing no more. Don't let these people undermine your confidence.

llizzie · 31/05/2025 01:47

HamOnBeth · 29/05/2025 12:28

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

'He who hesitates is lost'.

I am inclined to think that everyone wanted to eat the food but were afraid of others thinking they were greedy, so thought they would take it at the end of the day rather than leave it.

Then you come along and eat it and they are miffed. Serve them right. They had their chance.

They are the embarrassed ones, not you.

It isn't unlike someone at a meeting asking a question and others whispering ''I wanted to know that, but didn't want to look ignorant''.

changeme4this · 31/05/2025 02:44

I have to admit I enjoy eating something that someone else has prepared or bought in and would eat more than if it was my own.

but it’s no one’s business to be watching you at work and how much you eat.

I would consider bowing out of participation next time and if asked, state you were singled out unfairly and there seemed to be some agreement made by others they were taking food home when when that was not the intention of the event.

I would go and buy a nice smelling hot takeaway and bring it back to work to eat. Do you have an Italian or Chinese restaurant nearby who will do takeaways?

Biscuitjockey · 31/05/2025 02:48

Probably lazy people who think ah great I don’t have to cook tonight. It’s there for the people in the office.

Biscuitjockey · 31/05/2025 02:50

That would’ve made me take the lot, lick it then bin it.

Biscuitjockey · 31/05/2025 02:57

She wasn’t filling up her plate . I might go up your times but it would literally be for a quarter of a sandwich because I’d not wanna waste it. It’s brought in for staff , not lazy parents who can’t be bothered to cook.

Fannyy · 31/05/2025 03:05

I think they're making a comment that you seem to have eaten the equivalent of four or five sandwiches in one day

Biscuitjockey · 31/05/2025 03:09

It wasn’t me , I was just commenting. The goods there for the staff, Not the staffs kids. Simple .

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 03:28

Overall comment: seems like a cruddy place to work if the co-workers are any indication. If there was food and it was open for all then eat whatever you want - you could have put some food in some ziplock bags and put them in the fridge for later.

It was completely inappropriate for food to be limited to those who have children. Moreover after being sat out all afternoon it's a bit bizarre for people to be wanting to give that grotty stuff to their children anyway - it should all have been thrown away if it wasn't shelf stable.

If you feel bullied and this is a pattern of behaviour (have they made comments about your weight etc in the past??) then seek HR assistance. Co-workers shouldn't be making snotty comments to each other about what they eat. Your co-worker sound like utter morons so perhaps use this as an excuse to test the waters on some other, better jobs. Go have some interviews and enjoy the experience of meeting some new people (but don't mention the bitchy co-workers as being the reason!!!).