To be fuming with MIL and Husband?

[skydiver1985]

Had a DH family wedding today. Lovely day, I had to leave at around 7pm as our childcare could only stay until then so got home to the DC. Husband staying until end with rest of family. All fine.

DH and MIL just got back to our house. Asked how they got home, DH came up with a lie about someone driving them back. Could tell was lying and challenged. Turns out he had driven them both back in his MIL car. He’s been drinking all day. So has she.

We are supposed to be going away tomorrow for our anniversary (MIL is here to stay for weekend to have the DC).

now I feel completely pissed off at both MIL and DH for DH driving back? Why not get a cab? It’s just beyond selfish on all fronts. Now I feel like I don’t want to go away tomorrow.

MIL didn’t hear our confrontation but I shouted and told him he was selfish and I’m fuming etc. should I confront her tomorrow too? Although she’s supposed to be having our kids for the weekend while we go away?

sorry for such a long rant!!

Having food in your belly slows your digestion down, so alcohol enters your bloodstream more slowly (whereupon you body immediately begins trying to neutralize the toxin.) It also makes it so that you have glucose and more fluids in your bloodstream, which partially interfere with the alcohol’s effect on your brain (acting like a receptor antagonist or effectually diluting the concentration of alcohol in your bloodstream.)

This means that you can have the same amount of alcohol on two different occasions, but if you were full and hydrated the first time and hadn’t eaten and dehydrated the second time, you will feel the effects of the alcohol a lot more the second time.

I don’t think it’s particularly difficult to have 1-2 drinks at a time and not drive within 3-4 hours of that. Also breathalyzers are not that expensive; if you tend to drink a lot, you can get one and keep it in your car or purse.

What counts is whether he would fail a breathalyser - not whether he's had food with his beers.

Where the "only" 3 Drinks ...3 bottles of Scotch then?

Did you miss the dozens and dozens of posts before yours discussing the OP's post saying he drank beer?

The only way to be sure you aren't over the limit, when you don't have a breathalyser to check, is don't drink alcohol if you drive. You don't need to be drunk to have impaired reactions and I saw first hand how having been responsible for an accident can ruin your life, when a close friend was. Imagine how you would feel if you seriously injured or god forbid, killed someone. It's just not worth it!!

I'd be very cautious in letting them get away with saying it's "just 3 beers", it might be or not. People metabolise alcohol in different ways and without a definitive test they have no idea if he's legal or not. Much better to take the attitude of assuming you aren't, unless you can prove you are by a test, if he insists on driving after consuming alcohol. Ask him how he would feel if someone else caused an accident and hurt one of his kids but said "I only had three beers".

Id not go away for the weekend because I wouldn't feel comfortable with MIL judgement and I would be telling them both why.

I think if you feel you need a breathalyser to check alcohol levels you are probably drinking too much when driving

We all used to have personal breathalysers when younger and many places used to have them set up as well but that seemed to go out of fashion ages ago. It wasn’t a case of drinking too much, it was so you knew if you had to wait for another hour or not to set off if you were driving so you were not over the limit, it’s a really good idea. Many decades on we all know what we can/can’t have in this regard though, it’s the figuring it out earlier in life where this comes in handy.

I’ve got 50 years driving experience and can guarantee after a few, and being under the limit as I have never and will never drink and drive over the limit, I’m still a much better driver than any of my kids who have less than 10 years experience and have not had a drop to drink. I’ve also dealt with many patients from rta’s over the years, many fatalities, some caused by drunk driving but I’m still happy to be under the limit and drive. I’ve treated many people but don’t believe the cause of all accidents should be banned either. People put hands in moving blenders for instance to move things, no need to ban blenders! I’m happy for people to drive under the limit but not over the limit and definitely not drunk driving (you’ll be over the limit before you are drunk so it’s a good cut off point).

@HoppingPavlova I’ve gone with the idea that if I am driving I don’t drink. Then you know you won’t be over the limit.

I have lost a relative to a drunk driver who drove head on into them. They didn’t stand a chance, although the drunk driver survived

Having seen the devastation in a family caused by death as a result of a drunk driver, I do not advocate for any drinking if one is driving. It's so easy not to drink and drive, can't understand why anyone would do it. If you're not happy about the weekend away, tell him why he and don't go.