To be fuming with MIL and Husband?

[skydiver1985]

Had a DH family wedding today. Lovely day, I had to leave at around 7pm as our childcare could only stay until then so got home to the DC. Husband staying until end with rest of family. All fine.

DH and MIL just got back to our house. Asked how they got home, DH came up with a lie about someone driving them back. Could tell was lying and challenged. Turns out he had driven them both back in his MIL car. He’s been drinking all day. So has she.

We are supposed to be going away tomorrow for our anniversary (MIL is here to stay for weekend to have the DC).

now I feel completely pissed off at both MIL and DH for DH driving back? Why not get a cab? It’s just beyond selfish on all fronts. Now I feel like I don’t want to go away tomorrow.

MIL didn’t hear our confrontation but I shouted and told him he was selfish and I’m fuming etc. should I confront her tomorrow too? Although she’s supposed to be having our kids for the weekend while we go away?

sorry for such a long rant!!

Depends on timings and the beer, if he had a couple of pints at lunchtime and another at 5 pm and not high alcohol content he'd be unlikely to be over the limit. Also depends if it's 3 pints or 3. Bottles as that's also a big difference.

I think saying he'd been drinking all day is an exaggeration if it was 3. I mean I had a breakfast lunch and dinner yesterday but I wouldn't say I'd been eating all day

For people with a drink problem maybe for those without it doesn’t.

Was he drunk? 3 beers over the duration of the wedding could easily be fine.

OP didn't say he'd had 3 pints. Maybe he lied as he knew OP was likely to kick off and he didn't want the day to end like that.

If he had only had three drinks and was fine then why did he lie about getting a lift?

If he had 3 beers why on arrival home did he not say ‘oh i drove because i only had three beers spread through the day so i would be fine to drive home.’

He initially lied to the op about getting a lift and was found out so obviously is lying about the beer to try and placate the op.

Some beers are quite weak and your body loses something like one unit per hour, so if you'd downed 2 pints of beer that were 2 units each you'd probably be under the limit (I think around 2 units here) a couple of hours later. It does take a while for the alcohol to get in your bloodstream though so this is a very rough guide.

I think this and the trip are separate.

id go on the trip as it gives you and opportunity to have a proper chat about it. I think a quiet chat if at all with MIL that you dont condone and a reminder about kids and impaired judgement

this is why people stay over at weddings!

Only if he drunk them in an hour or two. Your body breaks down alcohol over the course of the day. Apparently it breaks down one unit an hour I would be too worried myself to trust this as I value my licence top much and would be annoyed with husband if he appeared remotely tipsy and drove but if it was 3 pints over the course of the day into the evening, I expect he would be fine.

You may feel sober but that alcohol will still be in your bloodstream and you would not be safe to drive. Eating plenty of food does not mitigate the alcohol content, it just makes you feel as though it does. You would almost certainly be over the limit and your reaction times are affected by even a small amount of alcohol.

This is why people buy portable breathalysers, takes all ambiguity out of the conversation.

My husband could have 3 or 4 bottles of beer throughout a wedding (nothing after 8pm) and easily blow zero

How many people are driving after having 3 alcoholic drinks?

And a poster saying their husband would pass the breathalyser test with flying colours, is that just because he doesn’t seem drunk after a few drinks. Don’t think it works like that, it’s not like the rest of walking in a straight line.

They don't need to spend money, just post on here with some of the facts and you will soon know if you're ok to drive or not.

Who needs to know if it was a pint or a bottle, high or low alcohol, when he drank them. No one needs all the facts do they.

Why did he lie if he was okay to drive. Okay then Pinocchio. Lying bastards

If he only had 3 beers and was fine, why the initial lie? And query how great their judgment was that they lied about a lift when it would be self evident that your mother in law’s car was now at your house.

It depends what you mean by "after". Immediately after, no. But if I'd had them a few hours before I drove and had had lots to eat, possibly.

Eating does mitigate alcohol absorption. If it is absorbed through the stomach, it has a much greater effect than if it is processed further on in the digestive system, and if the stomach is fully occupied with food then it will pass the liquid on pretty quickly. Hence the fact that drinking on an empty stomach is a bad idea.

If he lied about how they got home, then obviously he knew that he was over the limit. I would not be leaving either of them in charge of my children, ever again. I appreciate that this has huge consequences for the marriage, but it's a red line for me.

As OP left at 7.00 pm to take the children home and her DH and MIL had just arrived home after midnight, how likely is it that her DH stayed at the wedding reception for another 5 hours without drinking, particularly as he lied about driving home?

This. Shame on them. It's inexcusable.

This, if he truly was fine to drive why did he say had got a lift and try and hide it. They both be out on their ear. Dispicable behaviour. Even under the limit the risks of driving after a couple of drinks are significantly increased.

thanks all. I haven’t talked about it yet this morning. Just told him he can get up with the DC while I stay in bed. So he’s downstairs with them sorting them out. We both have the day off as supposed to be leaving this afternoon!

no he has no usual issues with alcohol, neither does MIL.

This.
Whilst she didn’t drive back to your home after the wedding she was complicit in your husband driving whilst under the influence. They’re both as stupid, irresponsible and selfish as one another. I wouldn’t want to leave my children with her for the weekend nor would I want to spend any special time with him.

It still doesn’t cancel out the alcohol, or mitigate the amount in your bloodstream, it doesn’t clear it through your system any quicker, you just process it in a slower way, rather than it going straight to your head. It’s more comfortable to drink on a full stomach but you wouldn’t pass a breathalyser test just because you’d had your dinner. If you drink any amount of alcohol you shouldn’t drive.

In 20 years of administering police breath tests I’ve never met anyone who has blown 0 after having 3 or 4 bottles of beer unless it has had time to totally work its way through their system.