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Original poster

To be fuming with MIL and Husband?

134 replies

skydiver1985 · 29/05/2025 00:41

Had a DH family wedding today. Lovely day, I had to leave at around 7pm as our childcare could only stay until then so got home to the DC. Husband staying until end with rest of family. All fine.

DH and MIL just got back to our house. Asked how they got home, DH came up with a lie about someone driving them back. Could tell was lying and challenged. Turns out he had driven them both back in his MIL car. He’s been drinking all day. So has she.

We are supposed to be going away tomorrow for our anniversary (MIL is here to stay for weekend to have the DC).

now I feel completely pissed off at both MIL and DH for DH driving back? Why not get a cab? It’s just beyond selfish on all fronts. Now I feel like I don’t want to go away tomorrow.

MIL didn’t hear our confrontation but I shouted and told him he was selfish and I’m fuming etc. should I confront her tomorrow too? Although she’s supposed to be having our kids for the weekend while we go away?

sorry for such a long rant!!

OP posts:
JustMyView13 · 29/05/2025 04:42

skydiver1985 · 29/05/2025 01:14

He’s said he had 3 beers throughout the day and that this is fine to drive on. I’m not sure this is true though, not sure how I would know for sure either way

He’ll be just fine getting up nice and early with the children then…

Feelingdownbutnotout · 29/05/2025 04:48

In Scotland the drink driving limit is very strict. Even one pint would put someone over the limit.
Like other posters I would assume if he initially lied about driving then he is lying about the amount he had actually drunk.

Shoxfordian · 29/05/2025 05:15

Why did he feel the need to lie about it? Has he driven when he's over the limit before?

Koalafan · 29/05/2025 05:26

The limit in Scotland is higher, rightly so. If you're driving you simply don't drink that day/night, and if you're drinking a fair bit you probably also shouldn't drive the next morning. He shouldn't have driven.

Redglitter · 29/05/2025 05:40

The limit in Scotland is higher, rightly so

It's lower in Scotland 😊

LettingyougoMovingOn · 29/05/2025 05:53

I wouldn't be happy with him driving after three drinks to be honest. Three drinks is over the limit. But I'm thinking he likely had more anyway

Zanatdy · 29/05/2025 05:54

3 beers all day with food would be fine. Did he appear drunk? Not a chance i’d allow a child of mine to drive when they’d been drinking. Scares me how many people drink and drink. I found out a lady from our hobby group drove someone home after at least 2/3 of a bottle of wine. I’d have told them not to drive, i told another friend not to have a second (small) glass of wine when she was driving home straight after. She claimed 2 drinks is fine, but it is not.

dad11122 · 29/05/2025 06:00

Ultimately this comes down to trust. If he only had 3 and didn’t drink after 7 when you left and he didn’t drive until 11pm then he would almost certainly be fine (although I wouldn’t have driven at all until the next day). If you don’t trust him and MIL then I’d assume you wouldn’t leave your children with either of them anyway?

SparklyGlitterballs · 29/05/2025 06:03

How did he think he'd get away with his lie that they'd got a lift? Did he think you wouldn't notice MIL car there? The fact he told a lie means he knew he'd done something wrong otherwise why not admit he'd driven? Probably because the 'only 3 beers' was a fabrication too.

I too would be very pissed off by their actions and I'm not sure I'd enjoy a weekend away in the circumstances.

Wallywobbles · 29/05/2025 06:09

Well if he really did only have 3 beers he’d not be drunk and fine to drive. Are you sure he’s drunk or are you just angry about something else?

Mymanyellow · 29/05/2025 06:16

I don’t know why people are saying three beers is ok? That seems a lot to me.Even if spread out through the day with food. I must be particularly easy to get drunk because I definitely wouldn’t be ok to drive.
The thing is is he lying. Probably because he lied about getting a lift so he knows full well he was over the limit.

ThejoyofNC · 29/05/2025 06:20

A wedding is a long day and if he's had 3 beers spread out across potentially 12ish hours, he could be fine. However I think the fact he tried to lie about it tells you this wasn't the case.

thepariscrimefiles · 29/05/2025 06:23

If he originally lied about getting a lift, he knows that he shouldn't have been driving. He is obviously lying about the amount that he drank as he knows that you saw him drinking so couldn't deny it completely. How likely is it that if he stayed after you took the children home, he didn't have anything else to drink?

Koalafan · 29/05/2025 06:34

Redglitter · 29/05/2025 05:40

The limit in Scotland is higher, rightly so

It's lower in Scotland 😊

Oh heck sorry, half awake.
The limit is lower in Scotland, that's what I meant to write - hopefully the rest of my answer makes it clear that's what it's supposed to say! 🫣🫣🫣
I live in Scotland.

Koalafan · 29/05/2025 06:35

Koalafan · 29/05/2025 05:26

The limit in Scotland is higher, rightly so. If you're driving you simply don't drink that day/night, and if you're drinking a fair bit you probably also shouldn't drive the next morning. He shouldn't have driven.

Can't edit - clearly I meant to write lower, not higher. Half asleep.

Horserider5678 · 29/05/2025 06:37

BrummieGinge889 · 29/05/2025 02:44

He's fine, they're fine. A whole day thing with lots of food, he was probably fine. I've been to weddings where I down a few glasses of prosecco at midday, get buzzed, gorge on food and cake, and am annoyingly sober by midnight.

Unless he's an alcoholic with a history of drunk driving, I think you are blowing it out of proportion.

What a ridiculous comment! 3 beers will put him over the limit! What if he had hit and killed someone? Any drinking and driving should be a no no!

babyproblems · 29/05/2025 06:41

I would think three beers across the whole day is ok??? Unless he’s lying.

Icanttakethisanymore · 29/05/2025 06:57

Horserider5678 · 29/05/2025 06:37

What a ridiculous comment! 3 beers will put him over the limit! What if he had hit and killed someone? Any drinking and driving should be a no no!

Show quote history

It really wouldn’t if he’d drunk it over 8-10 hours.

moose62 · 29/05/2025 06:57

If it was genuinely 3 beer over tge day with food he would probably be under the limit. It is more about whether you believe the 3 beers?

Icanttakethisanymore · 29/05/2025 06:58

Without knowing if his 3-pints all day claim is true it’s hard to tell but I wonder why he initially lied if he was so confident he was under the limit? Seems like he is lying because he knows he’s done wrong and I’d be fuming too.

Oneearringlost · 29/05/2025 07:04

Eating food has nothing to do with it; it makes you feel less drunk, but the essence is, that you metabolise a unit an hour, so if he is being entirely honest about his 3 beers, ( and their alcohol/volume) it would not be too difficult to work out if he was safe to drive ( from a breathalyser point of view) or not.

Greyhound98 · 29/05/2025 07:05

Codlingmoths · 29/05/2025 02:51

3 beers is fine for a day out? I would stick to 2 drinks with food if driving, but dh could easily have 3 and would pass a breathalyser with flying colours. Did he seem drunk?

if he was drink driving you’re right to be horrified. If he has carefully paced a few drinks to safely and soberly drive home you’re overreacting a lot?

Pass a breathalyser with ‘flying colours’?!
Like it’s a grand achievement?
I don’t see why anyone who is driving NEEDS to have 3 beers. They should stick to lemonade or get a taxi if they can’t manage to stay booze free for the day.
He is lying about how much he drank if he was noticeably drunk and his mother is an enabling idiot who will lie for her dumb son too.

Oneearringlost · 29/05/2025 07:07

Also, were his beers pints ( 568mls) or cans/bottles ( typically 330mls each)?

Only he knows this.

LillyPJ · 29/05/2025 07:07

skydiver1985 · 29/05/2025 01:14

He’s said he had 3 beers throughout the day and that this is fine to drive on. I’m not sure this is true though, not sure how I would know for sure either way

It depends on when he drank them and the strength of the beers and the size of the glass and other factors. But he could well be right. Is he usually responsible? Does he often drink a lot?

chatgptsbestmate · 29/05/2025 07:10

thepariscrimefiles · 29/05/2025 06:23

If he originally lied about getting a lift, he knows that he shouldn't have been driving. He is obviously lying about the amount that he drank as he knows that you saw him drinking so couldn't deny it completely. How likely is it that if he stayed after you took the children home, he didn't have anything else to drink?

This is on the money ^

What always confuses me in these situations is ....is this the first time he's ever had alcohol and driven and then lied? If so, I assume its out of character, a one off. Probably won't happen again

If he's got form for this - why are you surprised and in a way, if its a no from you, have you considered BEFORE this time, what you're going to do about it ?