Criticised over my eating style

[Fernandez54]

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

No he doesn’t have sensory issues

What would happen if you took the communal bowl and ate from it not giving it back

He sounds very strange. Does he call out his customers if they don’t conform to his eating habits

Why on earth do you only eat once a day? Eating disorder? Is he pressuring you to only eat once a day?

I would have used a side plate for the salad but I don't care what anyone else does!

If we have a fry up with baked beans my son puts the beans on a separate plate!

Why does your partner do all the cooking? It doesn't seem like a normal relationship balance for one partner to do 100% of the cooking which is usually a fun and communal activity that can easily be split up. Eg He makes the lasagna, you make the salad. Or are there any nights where you also do the cooking for him?

If he insists on doing the cooking himself then he sounds like a controlling dickhead who thinks your skills aren't good enough. Or he doesn't like the taste of your food. Huge red flags obviously.

We don’t live together I live at my own house with my daughter. I stay there 3/4 nights depending what my daughter is doing. Maybe if we lived together full time we might share the cooking, but it’s something he enjoys doing

So he wanted you both to keep eating from the same bowl? That’s so much worse to me 😭

FWIW, we always ate salad from a small plate next to our dining plate precisely not to mix hot and cold. I don’t think this is necessarily cultural though, I’ve seen it done both ways (yours and mine). Never seen everyone go at the same salad bowl though. No, thanks.

No it’s definitely not that deep it’s his working hours, and I conform when I go to his that’s all it is

And he wants you both picking away at the same bowl multiple times?? He deserves la chancla for that!

a warm salad is a fashionable culinary choice. Tell him in your most cultivated tone that his view is so passee.
then tell him to sod off

I like salad on the same plate as warm food...

Don't be daft it's a cultural difference. It slows down eating considerably so you eat less but feel full. It's probably healthier than scarfing down a huge plate of carbs. In a short space of time.

“Yup if he's Italian or similar, this would be pretty offensive, sorry”

It’s only ‘offensive’ if he’s too stupid to remember he’s not actually in his own country.

In theory that's disgusting. Of course in reality it's inexplicably good, and the best way to eat salad with lasagne, or any stodgy pasta dish.

Is jeans wearing a cultural issue too?

He's in his own home his choice.

Salad with warm food is definitely a thing here!

Pizza Express offers a "Leggera" pizza, with a hole in the middle of the pizza replaced by a dressed salad. Lower calories and increased vegetables!

Sounds fab !

Alright Farage

That's really strange. You must get hungry during the day

He's extremely controlling OP. You're having to wait for him to be allowed to eat, he criticises how you put food in the playe, he criticises what you wear... just throw him back already and get someone who actually makes you feel good about yourself. Life is too short for being miserable with a moany old waiter.

To answer your question; you have a right to stick up for yourself. He’s in the wrong for criticising the way you eat. He could have asked you nicely if eating salad on the side of the plate is a cultural thing or if it’s just your choice. Eating directly from a shared bowl isn’t what we do in this country generally. I would put the salad on the same plate as the hot food, like you 😊

I really enjoy lasagna with chips, salad and garlic bread on the same plate... YANBU.

I love hot and cold food together - salad and lasagne, avocado on hot toast, raw onion and oranges with a curry etc. My best friend hates mixing them. Neither of us is unreasonable or disgusting. We just like different things and don't criticise each other. Your partner is the unreasonable one here - it's none of his business how you like your food.

So it’s ok for him to tell op her eating habit is disgusting?

edited for typo

When I lived in Spain, it was anathema to eat yesterday's bread

There are Spanish women who wear jeans in the hot weather. I used to perspire just looking at them!