Criticised over my eating style

[Fernandez54]

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

Thank you 😊

I´m Spanish and I also don´t like mixing hot and cold, and when not given a side plate am very careful that the lettuce/salad doesn´t touch the hot food, or eat one first and then bring on the other. Communal bowls don´t scare me, I´m fine with them.
Edited to add, you eat it like you want to, ignore him.

It’s common for Spanish women to wear summer dresses or linen trousers on hot days. He cannot understand that there are women who may be ok wearing jeans.

Some European men think their way of doing things is superior, and they are not afraid of saying this out loud. Your bf seems to be one of them.

Eat your salad the way you like and wear want you want. I think the reason he cooks all the meals together because he thinks European cooking is better.

If he's that immature I'd have just left him to get on with it. My dh of 43 years will occasionally get in a snit and not speak for a couple of days. I did ask him why he did it and he said to punish me, wtf I just burst out laughing and asked why he thought I'd be bothered by not hearing him bang on about politics. He doesn't do it any more because I'm not fussed about it. Had he done it when younger I would have left.

That’s fine. It’s your preference but I hope you don’t call other peoples’ way of eating disgusting.

Yes I agree with everything you have said

Surely if eating hot and cold food together is bad you wouldn't have the two at the same meal? Who wants to just eat salad on it's own?
Why do you only eat once a day OP?

It's not hygienic to put your used fork into a bowl that others use.

You take a serving of salad and put it on your plate or a side plate.

How do people who don’t like hot and cold food together feel about a warm chicken Caesar salad? 🥗

I can see his point, although I do like a bit of mixed salad next to a small pile of rice - seems a nice combination!

Look at those on MN who sniff about Yorkshire pudding served with anything but beef; and the dreaded double carbs of lasagne with garlic bread, even chips! 😱

I only eat once a day when I’m at his house

Don't the French eat salad as a course by itself?

OP- he'd not be my partner any longer.

He's dictating how you eat your food and also what clothes you wear.

Is this how you want to live?

It's not about the salad - it's him being controlling and critical.

Dump him.

Well he might be dictating but I don’t change my ways, as I continue to wear what I like and eat how I like, but it did put me off last night

He sounds annoying. If you're not complaining to him about being hot (because you wore jeans on a warm day) or about your lettuce wilting (because you put it next to hot food on your plate), what difference can these types of things possibly make to him? He doesn't sound like an easy person to live with. (And I say that as someone who can be fairly 'particular' myself, but there are limits!)

You've both in your fifties? Fuck me ..I know why I'm single. What's the appeal of being with someone who controls what and how you eat and has a hissy fit over fucking salad?

Mind-blowing.

🤢

Me too - that's the whole point! I know my American friends always put the salad on their side plate...but that's just not going to cut it with me.

Why don’t ask? Why is it relevant to the OPs post?

OP, I’m a salad on the plate voter!

I’m Mediterranean and for last 50ish years I ve had my salad next to main meal !

I am from a culture where multiple dishes are shared even in restaurants but it’s not common for everyone to eat from a communal dish at home or anywhere. Food is served in serving bowls and eaten from separate dishes.

The human body is capable of adjusting to fast for most of the day, or even for a couple days at a time. There are even some benefits to doing this, such as increased autophagy of dead cells in the body. It’s only recently in our evolutionary history that we started eating 3x a day plus teas/snacks, with the advent of plant and animal agriculture and supermarkets.

If you only have one meal a day, then that meal needs to be pretty heavy in order to meet your caloric requirements. Then you have a whole 24 hours or so to digest it, and your body will take its time to extract all the nutrients it can from it.

Though, I would imagine it to be difficult to get much variety into your diet and to meet all your RDAs for all the essential nutrients in just one meal.

I can’t see what’s wrong with sharing a communal bowl of salad. You’d share a packet of crisps, or a pizza from a communal plate. What’s the difference?

He sounds like an 'I can't cope with anyone doing anything differently to the way I do it!' sort. Okay in small doses but an absolute pain to try to live with. Surely he knows that, as a grown woman, you are perfectly capable of judging how you want to eat your meals and what you want to wear and when? Or does he think you're like a child who needs 'correcting' when they get things wrong? Because that would give me the heebie jeebies.

And I only eat once a day too, for what it's worth. Nothing wrong with it.

It’s actually healthier to eat the salad (or greens) first as it reduces the blood sugar spike you’d get from the carby meal.

But that’s not the issue, he can’t force the way he eats onto you.

If he ate something during the day he probably wouldn't be so flipping ratty in the evening!