I just don't have enough money

[36912aceg]

Me and my husband are really struggling with money at the moment for the first time in our whole lives.

We have been together pretty much all of our adult lives.
We were on one income for nearly 10 years while I was a sahm, in all that time we never once had any worry about paying our bills and even managed to save 15k for a house deposit (first in our whole family to buy a house, took years of hard saving to try to get us out of renting)

Now I have had a job for the past 2 years so our money should have increased but its felt even tighter due to prices of everything increasing, of course our children are getting older too so we are feeding them more and other expenses such as bus fair etc is cropping up.

I started taking in ironing and cleaning as new way of making a bit of money on the side as things are getting tight. I made £85 this month on the side and this is the first time in our entire lives that we have struggled to pay the mortgage.
Thankfully we have always had a couple of hundred in savings which we dipped into for this months mortgage payment.

we shop second hand and cook from scratch, I follow all the tips and tricks to save money (batch cooking, paying in cash etc ) I follow martin Lewis and save save save every penny and its just not enough.

I had to decline 2 party invitations for my children this month because I couldn't justify the cost of 2 cards, 2 sets of bus fair. didn't even think about the fiver to put in the card.

I just don't get it, we both work. I even made some money on the side this month and I had to say no to a child's birthday party for 2 of my children.

we don't even drive so I couldn't even save money that way.

I don't know why I'm posting a moany little rant but I'm so stressed, our savings have been depleted by bills despite us living even more modestly than when we were on 1 income. I just don't fucking get how I can get more money.

@36912aceg I just don't get it, we both work.

You both work, so in a just world you would both be comfortable. Unfortunately, this is not the case.

So why is it this way?

Once upon a time, a single income was enough to raise a family and own a house. Then the bankers and wealthy became greedy, and decided to artificially raise the price of housing. This caused the price of mortgages to skyrocket, forcing both parents to work and keeping the country under control.

So sadly, it's wealthy politicians and bankers to blame for these circumstances.

Before we got married and had the children we went through a couple of times where we really struggled financially due to changes of circumstance. One time I had lost my job but being relatively new I didn't get any notice or redundancy pay. The other time DH had his hours cut. Both times we signed up with an employment agency to fill in the gap. I joined an education agency as a TA and DH ended up taking on some shifts at an airport in the warehouse. I can't remember how DH's agency work was organised (I think he may have agreed to a block of work e.g. 30 hours a week for 6 weeks) but my TA work was easy to fit around other commitments because they just called me each day and asked if I was available to attend X school and I was able to accept it decline, or say "yes but I would need to leave by 2:45pm" and the school would either agree or the agency would find another placement for me that day.

The other thing that springs to mind is joining a local cleaning firm where you can pick your hours. Or getting insurance in place and advertising independently as a cleaner so you can pick your own hours. DH could do the same. Or if either of you have any other skills like general DIY or gardening, you could advertise and do this locally. Tuition? Music lessons? PA for disabled person? All things where you could potentially pick your own hours.

Interesting re. Ironing. I’m from a working class town in Scotland, not necessarily deprived but it’s definitely not affluent or posh at all. A childhood of mine recently starting ironing to supplement her income and she seems to be super busy. Maybe my hometown is richer than I thought lol

Yeah in my local towns Tesco &Aldi it tends to be middle aged women, working during the week but when I pop in on Saturday mornings it’s all student aged/young people. I think many supermarkets will offer weekend only shifts.

Sign up to do online paid surveys...won't make you rich but may help.

The two care jobs require you to be a driver. The engineer needs NVQ3 in an electrical discipline.

Not all areas have the same opportunities.

Not really, I worked there 10 years in various departemnts and places, people like to moan hands on heart I was treated with respect, I pogressed from packer to hr to team lead (not futther asmanagers were on contracted hours so you earn better as tl then a manager due to overtime) their life insurance, dental, and health insuance is v, cheap and to die for pension contribution generous, and I completed 2 apprenticeships with diplomas to show for it! Also many other benefits that I can t remember to the topnof my head but they are not awfull I promise you! After that i never found a job that offers so many benefits didn't know what I had till I lost it. You could also add family members on your private health insurance for 2 coffees per payslip, my husband had £10k worth of procedures through them. Overtime was 1.5 next 10hr and 2x anything over great money maker in peak period

I find I spend over what I expect every month particularly on food and unexpected social things cafes etc.
In your position I would go full time or consider retraining. Could you look for a job in a school, or an office role. I think you both need to consider roles people need to use, driving instructor, plumber, child minder.

I can’t tell from your posts. Does your OH work full time? Do you?

@Missanimosity I know someone myself who worked for them and said the same thing- as he said they want their pound of flesh but compared to similar jobs it was reasonably well paid, very consistent work and had good benefits

She already said she works 20 hr and husband about 30hr they bring a combined income of about £2400 after taxes

Thats the issue then.

Once upon a time, a single income was enough to raise a family and own a house.
For a higher income household, yes. Lowest income range - no, it's really never been a thing that one person's wage was enough.

My great grandparents, with great grandpa a mill supervisor - my great grandma still needed to take on dressmaking, knitting and other work. Not for a fancy lifestyle, no cars, no fancy possessions, just to feed their kids.

They only work part-time though - that's why they're struggling.

@Frequency I’m originally from an ex mining town( Mansfield) and I get what you say - one of the reasons few of my grammar school friends still live locally was that they met up with the clever boys who then mainly moved away for uni and ‘professional jobs’ - there were some professional jobs locally , but not nearly enough and often not that interesting . Jobs like the Amazon or Sports direct warehouse jobs were actually ‘ in demand’ - whereas in the posh areas I’ve lived since they struggle to get workers for those kind of jobs. It’s just a very different employment market .

I've just put your earnings and family circs through the professional benefits calculation software I use for work, and based on the weekly figures you gave, you should be entitled to UC of over £250 a month.

It's also worth checking with your council to see if you'd be entitled to some money off your council tax because you're on a low income.

Have you any idea how long your partner is likely to be working reduced hours? And if he's working less, could you increase your hours? He'd be around more for the kids.

But the bottom line is, between you need to earn more, possibly by one or both of you getting a new job where the hours are consistent, or by finding some additional work to top up your income. Someone I know gets a reasonable (and regular) income doing a few night shifts shelf stacking in a supermarket. She gets back from work, takes the kids to school and then sleeps during the day. The pay's not bad, she's up in time to pick the kids up and her OH is back in time to do dinner and bedtime.

Things are getting really tough out there for lots of people, I've had a couple of clients who've lost their jobs or had hours reduced in the last few weeks. And this is in the SE, where there's usually plenty of work.

@GRex For a higher income household, yes. Lowest income range - no, it's really never been a thing that one person's wage was enough.

Well it was a thing in the past, because my dad did it, and he certainly was not a high earner.

He bought a large, detached 3 bedroom house in the 80s for £38k. The average salary at the time was just below £20k, so the house cost about twice the average salary.

Do you think it would be possible to buy a detached 3 bedroom house today for double the average salary, about £70 - 75k?

You do need to want to work in the industry though. It certainly isn’t for everyone but if you’re looking for work, whatever your circumstances are, its all you hear, over and over. Go and work in a care home, beggars can’t be choosers and all that... its become such a glib response as to be meaningless now.

Not everyone looking for work can or should ‘just go and work in a care home’.

It to mention the fact that OP will be devastated that all the equity they’ve built up in their home will have to be spent on rent before they even qualify for rent-assistance!

Two parents, with three children, working part- time are NOT doing “everything they can” to better their position 🙄

Agree with the pet feeding. I do cat sitting as a side income using catinaflat. I can charge extra for peak times, overnight stays and always make a decent amount of money. I normally visit for 30-45 mins per visit (some owners ask for twice a day), and fit this around my office hours on the days that I have to go in. There have been times when I've had no childcare and brought my toddler with me after getting permission from the owners beforehand, it's really flexible and costs nothing to sign up. If you don't want to use the app and pay commission I'm sure you could advertise in local Facebook groups or posting flyers through doors as a lot of owners prefer a cat sitter to sending their cat to a cattery.

Did you miss “ I have a second job (not a side hustle) I do over multiple evenings to facilitate that. Adds up to more than FT but I’m not killing myself 24/7, nor would I expect the OP to”?

OP and partner are working and actively looking for more hours which will fit around family life. Child care would likely cost more than their hourly rate. Unfortunately there isn’t a perfect job tree outside their front door they can pluck a new career from overnight.

OP came on to vent and was not expecting a magic wand. There are plenty more people in the same situation - sometimes it helps to know you are not alone.

1980 average wage was £8,283, rising to £10,200 or so in 1990. £38k was really not double a low income wage, no.

I don't know anything about your dad's circumstances, I'm sure he did well and you're proud of him, but he was not a low earner on £20k when he was buying a £38k house.

it's your salaries that are the problem and until they increase, i don't see anything changing.

I'm guessing potential work is limited due to neither of you driving. Can you pick up agency shifts? Are you claiming universal credit?

Putting these figures aside, the salary v houseprice gap has increased massively since then.