Partner wants to move into my house - How do I protect myself?

[newbeginnings91]

I have been in a relationship with my partner for almost three years. I bought my house in 2019. He had previously owned a property with his ex, which has since been sold, and he is currently renting a flat.

We’ve been discussing the possibility of taking the next steps and moving in together, with him being more eager than I am. However, I’m not sure how everything works. I would be perfectly happy staying in my current house and living together here, but I realise I need to protect myself. Surely, I can’t just add him to the mortgage without having a formal agreement in place first?

I made a significant deposit when I purchased the house and have also invested in renovations and repairs over the years.

Any tips? Should I reach out to a solicitor?

Not sure why he shouldn't pay rent.. that means he would be significantly better off and the op wouldn't be. Just get a co habitation agreement drawn up.. you can offer lodger rates but just splitting bills and having to pay zero rent is bonkers. Look how may women live with a guy for 30 years and are told they have no claim on the property as they are not on the deeds etc yet the advice is always not to make him pay rent when it is reversed ..

I no longer allow men to move in. They always take the piss.
In my view if they can't provide for me Im not interested in them. They aren't relationship material.
I've been done over enough to come to this conclusion, mainly refusing to pay rent and bills, refuse to clean, cook or do repairs because "it's not my house".
I worked hard to buy my home. Nobody is getting it for nothing.

There is no need to add him to the mortgage right away and I’m a bit confused about why you would think of doing this at such an early stage. You might find you are not compatible after 2 months of living together and then where would you be?

I would have a think about where this relationship is heading and whether you are on the same page. Do you want to marry eventually? Or do you never plan to marry? Kids?

If you do want to proceed then I think the fairest way is to have a lodgers agreement drawn up. If you have no agreement at all then you can kick him out with no notice and that’s not fair on him. A lodgers agreement gives him the right to have sone notice of termination.

Then you can have a trial period. I would not consider adding him to the mortgage unless you are sure and you have a legal agreement to ring fence your deposit.

But the main thing is, don’t have him move in at all unless you are sure. After 3 years together it surprises me that you are not interested in moving the relationship forward. I would start by looking long and hard at why that is. Is it because you have doubts about him? Is this a sign that maybe you’re not on the same page and should break up?

If get him to sign a lodgers agreement at market rates. That way you can get him out easily if necessary.

Only if you want him to move in, If not keen just say. I think you will
know if he’s in potential cock lodger territory.

I’m going to buck the trend here and say moving my partner into my property made things infinitely better. He’s brilliant at cooking and DIY and shares the domestic load. I charge him half the bills and half the interest on the mortgage which only comes to £100 a week so he’s still getting a great deal. What would concern me about your situation is that you don’t seem to want him to move in, in which case he shouldn’t and there’s nothing wrong with that.

My mortgages have a form if someone to move in they sign they have no rights to the house. Be worth looking into

This 100%

and you are happy to risk your security and home ownership over this?

Don’t do it. It has the potential to ruin your life if it goes wrong. Speaking from experience.

Don’t do it. Don’t add him to the mortgage, ever. If he moves in, make sure anything he pays is towards bill only, not mortgage.
Too many stories on here about cocklodgers

Pretty simple- trial period for a couple of years. He pays 50% bills plus rent. You put this into a signed cohabitation agreement. Then you see if it works out.

If it works out then you get married and pool your finances, pay all the bills out of one pool.

How is she risking her home ownership?

they aren’t married, he’s not on the deeds or mortgage. He isn’t paying the mortgage or contributing to maintenance so won’t have a financial claim if they split.

i would maybe check if diy is classed as home improvements. Putting up the odd shelf won’t be, but if he’s increasing the value of the property installing new kitchens he may be able to claim he’s contributed.

she just said he is paying towards the interest so towards the mortgage?

It is interesting that were the roles swapped and this was a woman moving into a man’s house the advice would be very different.

Why the rush on his part? Why do you feel reluctant? I think your gut is telling you something.

Don't do it.
Protect yourself by ensuring no-one moves into your property.

How much will he be saving in rent by moving in with you? I'd ask him how he envisages it will make it financially right for both of you, if he were to move in, given that the property (and mortgage debt) will be yours.
I think he should pay half the bills and half the rent he pays on his current place.
Do not put him on the mortgage ... your lender will have a form for him to sign to say he won't make a claim on your property (my son had to sign one when living with me).

Have a solicitor draw up a Living Together Agreement or a Lodger Agreement and have it formally documented.

“We’ve been discussing the possibility of taking the next steps and moving in together, with him being more eager than I am.”

I bet he is - he gets rid of his monthly rent, and what exactly do you get in return? I’d be very cautious, OP, and under NO circumstances would I let myself be persuaded to put him on the deeds/mortgage unless and until you have actually married him (and I might be wanting to have some safeguards for myself even then). I’d consult a solicitor to see what legal safeguards are available to you - and don’t ever be rushed into anything as important as sharing your house with someone until you’re good and ready - if you have any doubts whatsoever, just don’t do it.

You know you're not ready and for good reason. Why are you unwilling to say this to him?

Don't move him in.

He's the one that wants it and who did this add him to the mortgage come from? If him, that would be a hell no.

He gets the big benefits from moving in and if you put him on the mortgage, he gets a legal claim on your home, if I understand correctly how it works where you are.

Your home is your major financial asset that you alone have put money into. Don't jeopardize that.

Does he even have the money to eventually buy into your house and apply for a joint mortgage? I assume you have some equity in it.

Or is he suggesting he becomes your lodger?

Hahaha oh the irony.

WilfredPies: You’re so desperate to dig out misandry where none exists
Also Wilfred Pies: Once he’s in, it’ll be a bugger to get rid of him. He’ll be claiming homelessness and guilt tripping you into letting him stay

I’ve not said anything ill of OP intentions, just pointing out how you and other PP are catastrophising about OP’s partner, whom she’s been with for 3 years. Carrying on like a guy keen to move in with his partner is a bad thing 🤣.

OP is content enough with her partner and given no indication he’s sinister (other than being keen), or anything is wrong with the relationship. So perhaps don’t immediately jump to assassinate his character.

OP isn’t ready to move in which is ok, but her not wanting to live together isn’t an indication he’s bad.

To specifically answer your question as to how it would work, there are a couple of options

Option one:
He is a 'lodger', and pays a fixed sum to you which includes everything and does not depend on how much the bills are. e.g., he pays £xx per month, no matter if the electricity bill goes up or down over time. Make sure the £xx is high enough that you won't be out of pocket - two people use far more electricity and water than one.
His name is not on any bills.

Option two:
You open a joint current account out of which all household bills are paid, general shopping, food, cleaning products, etc., but NOT the mortgage or property repairs which you pay out of your personal current account.
You both pay into the joint account equally.
Utility and other household bills are put in joint names.
In the event of a breakup, it is completely transparent that he only ever paid for his share of household costs - the bank statements prove this.

Beware - over time if the relationship develops, especially if you have children or get married, the "equal shares" contributions to the joint account may not actually be fair, particularly if you are on maternity leave or one of you starts to earn far more than the other. At that stage you can discuss changing to paying in proportional to your incomes.
Don't start off with proportional payments if he is earning more, because he could argue that he was subsidising you so should get a share of the house on breakup.

Don't for the love of god give him any rights to any part of your house.

1. You're not married.

2. He has invested NOTHING in the house.

3. He'll take half when you split up if you're not VERY careful.

4. Take legal advice BEFORE he moves in. Possibly getting the solicitor to draw up some sort of document for you both to sign to protect your interests.

There is a reason he's keen to move in and it isn't because he's so in love.