To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

[CrabbyPaty]

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

Are they memory foam pillows? Those can be heavy and as comfortable as sleeping on a slab of concrete.

Omgod they’re brothers.

Do you honestly never expect any accidents. It’s how they learn.

You need to be realistic.

As long as he was genuinely sorry and won’t do it again, what’s the problem??

These pillows sound dangerous…….chuck them away before someone gets hurt again. FWIW, I’d still let the dis have his friend for a sleepover but do explain to all your children why the pillows have been removed and to be more careful in future.

Just as we were getting somewhere with stomper pillows, along comes a Rutherford punishment. Sounds a bit extreme. Does it involve nuclear reactions? 🤯

Just seen it might refer to a secondary type of punishment. Well, every day is a school day in here!

I'd be meting out Rutherford punishments if I got into bed to find my pillow was just some bricks wrapped in a pretty cover.

I am awaiting the MIL thread where MIL is furious that her gifted stomper/stopper pillows have vanished.

Stomper pillows aside...has nobody else picked up on Paintballing and Gladiators? I think I'd be cancelling for fear of all out bedroom warfare...

LOL I did and just read your comment straight after hahah

I have no idea what a stomper pillow is but if you don't want them to use it just remove it.
Children get over excited when playing like that and can't always control themselves so i don't think you can blame them for getting carried away. Personally I wouldn't allow a pillow fight at all but if you do you are to accept someone might get hurt
I don't think you should cancel the play date

I’m guessing either buckwheat or feather (not down) fill. I had feather pillows as a a kid (still do…but different ones obviously) and they weigh a ton. If I was able to get a good swing as a child I won every pillow fight with them because they were heavy!

@CrabbyPaty it was a pillow fight not a knife fight. This is definitely a kids will be kids doing kid things situation. It’s not a punishable offense. I also note there was no mention of punishing DC2 who was also a participant in pillowgate. This honestly is one of those things that should be a word about using advanced weaponry, clean up the blood, and forgotten about.

Don’t cancel the sleepover!

So why have them?
It's better to sleep with just one pillow anyway. Sounds like a problem you don't need to have!

I think remove the pillows. Cancelling the friend coming over isn't really a related consequence.

I think "don't smack each other in the face with the really heavy ones" is something that most kids could get a grasp on. It's more that "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise it was the heavy one..." is a much too convenient excuse for the one who was losing to pull out.

Now I know what a stomper pillow is I can answer.
Remove the pillows, for good.
Tell the kids off for the extreme play and separate them when you hear it getting ridiculous.
Thats it really!!

"Personally I wouldn't allow a pillow fight at all "

Yes, you can't be too careful. Pillow fights is how Al Capone got started.

Go to a supermarket - they pretty much all sell bedding - and buy new pillows.

Chuck the "stompers" whatever the fuck they are, they sound like bricks and really uncomfortable and replace.

Cancel the sleepover anyway. The kids know how heavy these shitty pillows are as they've been using them for a while, so he deserves a punishment for hurting his brother.

MIL can shove her stompers up her arse.

That, and stealing lunch money...

Sound like buckwheat pillows. They're really comfy once you get used to them and are meant to be better for your neck etc. Putting a soft pillow on top somewhat defeats the purpose.

You might as well buy a huge sack of popcorn and sleep on that instead. 🍿

Not sure kids need that kind of pillow tbh. Sounds like it's something you might need after a neck/shoulder injury?

I spent a few yrs as a pre-teen chucking all pillows on the floor and sleeping without, and I'm still alive.😁

If the OP is looking for a good new loving home for the dangerous stomper pillows I think I know someone who might be interested…
https://www.tiktok.com/@dylanmulvaney/video/7102974306036010282

Walks away whistling casually…….

Not because I think they will turn into gangsters. But because they can very easily get out of hand and someone can get hurt or something broken. I don't think you can expect two unsupervised , excitable children having a pillow fight to follow all rules set for them about which pillows they can and can't use.

This is totally something my boys would do

Remove stompers and tell dc to wise up

Rough and tumble play is developmentally important for children of both sexes. A pillow fight is a fairly low risk way of having that age appropriate play.

I searched for stomper pillow with whatever the amazon fire tablet's search engine is, and the first result I got was this thread 😂

I would be removing the pillows, they don’t sound ideal to have around children, they will mess about with pillows sometimes even if they know they’re not supposed to. Part of being a child. It doesn’t sound like they were deliberately trying to hurt eachother. Just tell DS2 to apologise to DS1, and take the “stomper” pillows away, then move on.
I also think consequences need to be proportionate- so cancelling a sleepover doesn’t make sense as a consequence and is just way over the top.